You’ve probably heard of Freud. Everyone knows the guy who blamed everything on your parents and your subconscious urges. But there was another guy in that same circle, Alfred Adler, who looked at things totally differently. He didn't think we were just products of our past or victims of our biology. He believed we are social creatures driven by a need to belong. Honestly, if you’ve ever felt like you weren't "enough" or felt like an outsider in your own life, you’ve already touched the edges of what Adlerian psychotherapy is all about.
It’s about purpose.
While other theories look backward to find out "why" you are broken, Adlerian therapy looks forward to ask "where" you are going. It’s practical. It’s gritty. It’s about the courage to be imperfect.
What is Adlerian Psychotherapy anyway?
At its core, Adlerian psychotherapy is a growth-oriented therapy that emphasizes the individual's connection to society. Adler called his work Individual Psychology—not because he focused only on the person in a vacuum, but because he saw the person as an "indivisible" whole. You can’t understand a human being by breaking them into parts like "id" or "ego." You have to look at the whole person and how they move through the world.
Adlerian therapy operates on the idea that our behavior is goal-directed. We aren't pushed by the past; we are pulled by our goals.
Think about the last time you felt incredibly frustrated at work. Was it because of a childhood trauma? Maybe. But an Adlerian would ask: what is the goal of your frustration? Are you trying to gain control? Are you trying to protect yourself from failure? Everything we do has a "why" that points toward a future outcome.
The Inferiority Complex: It's Not Just a Buzzword
We all feel small sometimes. Adler argued that every human being starts life with feelings of inferiority. I mean, look at a baby. They are literally helpless. This isn't a bad thing, though. In a healthy scenario, that feeling of being "less than" acts as a motor. it drives us to master our environment, to learn, and to grow.
The problem happens when we get stuck.
When that natural feeling of inferiority becomes an "inferiority complex," we stop trying to grow and start trying to hide or overcompensate. You’ve seen this. It’s the person who acts like a bully because they’re secretly terrified of being seen as weak. It’s the "superiority complex" which, ironically, is just an inferiority complex turned inside out.
👉 See also: Definition of a blood: What your doctor wishes you actually knew
The Pillars of the Adlerian Approach
Adlerian therapy isn't a rigid checklist. It’s a philosophy of living. To really get what is Adlerian psychotherapy, you have to look at how it treats the "Life Tasks." Adler (and later followers like Rudolf Dreikurs) believed every human faces three main challenges:
- Work: Contributing something of value to the community.
- Social: Building meaningful friendships and connections.
- Love: Navigating intimacy and partnership.
If you’re struggling in one of these areas, it’s usually because your "Style of Life"—your unique blueprint for navigating the world—has some glitches. Maybe you learned early on that the only way to be safe is to please everyone. Or maybe you decided that people are dangerous, so you keep everyone at arm's length.
Therapy involves uncovering these "private logics."
The therapist and the client work like collaborators. It’s not a doctor-patient thing where the expert gives you a pill or a "fix." It’s more like two people looking at a map of your life, trying to figure out where you took a wrong turn and how to get back on a path that actually leads somewhere good.
Why Social Interest is the Secret Sauce
There’s a term Adler used: Gemeinschaftsgefühl. It’s a mouthful. In English, we usually translate it as "Social Interest" or "Community Feeling."
This is the yardstick of mental health in Adlerian thought.
Basically, the more you care about the well-being of others, the healthier you are. If your goals are purely selfish—if you’re only out to "get yours"—you’re going to end up isolated and anxious. Adlerian psychotherapy pushes you to expand your circle of concern. It suggests that true fulfillment comes from contributing to the "human enterprise."
It’s kind of radical when you think about it. In a world obsessed with "self-care" and "me-time," Adler says the best way to feel better about yourself is to be useful to someone else.
Birth Order: Does it Really Matter?
You’ve probably heard people say, "Oh, she’s such a typical middle child." You can thank Adler for that. He was one of the first to suggest that our position in the family constellation shapes our personality.
- First-borns often feel "dethroned" when the second child arrives, leading them to become high achievers or sticklers for rules to regain approval.
- Second children are often in a race, trying to catch up or find a niche the first-born hasn't claimed yet.
- The "baby" might become a charmer or someone who expects others to do the heavy lifting.
But here’s the nuance: it’s not your actual birth order that matters. It’s your perception of it. If you were the second child but your older brother was chronically ill, you might have stepped into the "eldest" role. Adlerians care about the story you told yourself about your place in the family, because that story became the foundation for how you treat the world today.
The Four Stages of the Therapeutic Process
Adlerian therapy usually flows through four distinct phases. It's not a straight line, but it gives the work a sense of direction.
The Engagement Phase
This is about building a relationship. You can't do deep work if you don't trust the person sitting across from you. The therapist focuses on empathy and support. No "blank slate" silence like you’d get in traditional psychoanalysis. The therapist is active, warm, and human.
The Assessment Phase
This is where the "detective work" happens. The therapist looks at your "Early Recollections"—your earliest memories. Adler believed these aren't just random snapshots; they are metaphors for how you view life now. If your first memory is being lost in a grocery store, you might feel like the world is a place where you're constantly overlooked or in danger.
The Insight Phase
Here, the therapist helps you see your "mistaken goals" and "private logic." It’s an "aha!" moment. You realize, "Wait, I’m not actually 'lazy,' I’m just terrified that if I try and fail, it’ll prove I’m worthless, so I don't try at all."
The Reorientation Phase
Insight is useless without action. In this final stage, you take what you’ve learned and start making different choices. This is where the "Courage to be Imperfect" comes in. You start taking risks. You join a club. You set a boundary. You act "as if" you are the person you want to become until it starts to feel real.
Real-World Applications and Limitations
Is it for everyone? Maybe not.
If you’re looking for a quick biological fix or someone to just listen to you vent for an hour without challenging you, Adlerian therapy might feel a bit too active. It requires a lot of self-reflection. It also puts the responsibility for change squarely on your shoulders.
However, it’s incredibly effective for:
- Anxiety and Depression: By addressing the underlying "discouragement" that often fuels these states.
- Parenting: The "Positive Discipline" movement is almost entirely based on Adlerian principles.
- Couples Therapy: Helping partners see how their individual "Styles of Life" are clashing.
Critics sometimes argue that Adlerian therapy is too optimistic or that it ignores the systemic issues like poverty or racism that can cause "inferiority" feelings. While Adler was actually very socially conscious (he was one of the first to advocate for women’s equality and social justice), modern practitioners have to be careful not to "psychologize" problems that are actually structural.
Why This Matters Right Now
We are living in an era of profound disconnection. Loneliness is at an all-time high. We spend hours scrolling through feeds that make us feel "less than."
Adlerian psychotherapy is a direct antidote to this.
It tells us that we aren't broken machines. We are social beings who have lost our way from the community. It reminds us that our past doesn't define us, and that we have the power—the creative power of the self—to rewrite our narrative at any time.
It’s about moving from "I’m not enough" to "I am part of this."
Actionable Insights for Your Life
You don't need a therapist to start applying these ideas today. If you want to shift your perspective using Adlerian principles, try these steps:
Examine Your Early Memories
Think of your three earliest memories. Don't worry if they are "accurate." Write them down. What is the theme? Are you alone or with people? Is the world helpful or hostile? Seeing these themes can reveal the "private logic" you’re currently using to navigate your life.
Identify Your "As If"
If you want to be more confident, ask yourself: "How would I act today if I already had that confidence?" Then, for just one hour, act as if it’s true. This isn't "faking it until you make it." It’s a deliberate experiment to show your brain that new behaviors are possible.
Focus on Contribution
When you feel a spiral of anxiety or self-pity starting, pivot. Ask: "What is one small thing I can do right now to be helpful to someone else?" It could be a text to a friend or picking up litter. Shifting from self-interest to social interest is the fastest way to break an inferiority spiral.
Embrace Imperfection
Give yourself permission to do something poorly. Adlerians believe that "striving for perfection" is a trap that leads to paralysis. Aim for "socially useful" instead of "perfect."
Check Your Goals
The next time you’re in a conflict, stop and ask: "What is my goal right now?" Is it to resolve the problem, or is it to prove I’m right and the other person is wrong? Often, simply identifying a "mistaken goal" is enough to change the energy of the entire interaction.
Adler’s work was ahead of its time. It’s a psychology of hope. It assumes you have the capacity to change, not because you’ve "fixed" your past, but because you’ve decided to move toward a better future.
The path forward isn't about being better than everyone else. It’s about being better with everyone else.