Let’s be real for a second. We’re living in an era where sexual boundaries are shifting faster than a social media algorithm. What used to be whispered about in hushed tones or relegated to the deepest corners of adult forums has gone mainstream. You see it in pop songs, hear it on podcasts, and frankly, it's becoming a standard part of the modern sexual menu. I’m talking about tongue in the butt—formally known as anilingus, and colloquially known as rimming. It’s one of those acts that people either absolutely crave or find completely baffling, with very little middle ground in between.
There is a massive amount of misinformation floating around. Some people think it’s inherently "dirty" or dangerous, while others dive in without a single thought about the actual biology involved.
The truth? It’s complicated. It’s a mix of intense nerve endings, specific health risks, and a whole lot of psychological "taboo" that adds a layer of excitement for many. But if you're going to do it, or if you're just curious why it's suddenly everywhere, you need the actual facts—not just the memes.
Why the Nerve Endings Matter
The anus is packed. Seriously. We are talking about an area dense with thousands of nerve endings that are directly connected to the pelvic floor. For many, the sensation of a tongue in the butt isn't just about the "butt" itself; it's about the way those nerves trigger a response in the entire genital region.
Think about it. The sphincters are muscles. When they are stimulated gently, they relax. This relaxation can lead to more intense orgasms because the pelvic muscles aren't holding as much tension. It's basic physiology, really. Dr. Evan Goldstein, a rectal surgeon and founder of Bespoke Surgical, often points out that the anatomy here is way more sensitive than people give it credit for. It’s not just a "back door"—it’s a complex sensory zone.
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But here is the thing.
The mouth and the anus are two of the most bacteria-heavy parts of the human body. When you bring them together, you are essentially creating a highway for microbes. It’s not just about "poop," which is what everyone worries about. It's about the microscopic stuff.
The Reality of Health Risks (The Not-So-Sexy Part)
I’m not here to scare you, but honesty is better than an unplanned trip to the clinic. Anilingus carries real risks of STI transmission. We're talking about things like Hepatitis A, E. coli, and various parasites like Giardia. Because these are transmitted through the fecal-oral route, even a partner who looks "clean" can pass something along if they've recently been exposed.
- Hepatitis A: This is a big one. It’s a virus that affects the liver and is famously spread through fecal matter. Vaccines exist, and if you’re sexually active in this way, getting that shot is a smart move.
- HPV (Human Papillomavirus): This can lead to anal warts or, in some cases, anal cancer. It's incredibly common.
- Bacterial infections: Shigella and Salmonella don't just come from undercooked chicken.
Does this mean you shouldn't do it? Not necessarily. But it means you should probably know your partner's health status. Or, at the very least, understand that "washing" only goes skin deep. You can't scrub away a virus.
Preparation and the "Cleanliness" Factor
Let's talk about the logistics. Hygiene is usually the number one barrier for people considering tongue in the butt.
Most people feel better after a shower. Obviously. Using a mild, unscented soap on the external area is usually plenty. You don't need to go internal with soaps—that actually messes up the natural biome and can cause irritation or micro-tears.
Some people swear by baby wipes. Others prefer a full bidet blast. Honestly, whatever makes you and your partner feel comfortable is the right answer. But there's an emotional component here too. If you're stressed about being "clean enough," you won't enjoy it. The psychological "ick" factor is the biggest mood killer.
If you want a barrier, dental dams are a thing. I know, I know—nobody actually uses them in the movies. But they exist for a reason. They provide a latex or polyurethane shield that lets the sensation through while blocking the direct contact of fluids and bacteria. It's the "seatbelt" of the act.
Breaking the Taboo: Why Now?
Why are we talking about this so much in 2026?
Cultural shifts. The "body positivity" movement has expanded to include "pleasure positivity." We are less ashamed of our bodies than we were twenty years ago. Plus, the internet has democratized sexual education. People are realizing that their "weird" fantasies are actually shared by millions.
There’s also a power dynamic at play. For some, performing anilingus is an act of total devotion or submission. For others, receiving it feels like the ultimate "spoiling." It’s a very intimate act because it requires a massive amount of trust. You are, quite literally, exposed.
The "How-To" That Nobody Asks Out Loud
If you’re the one doing the "work," start slow. This isn't a race. The skin around the anus is incredibly thin—thinner than the skin on your eyelids. Using too much pressure or rough texture right away can cause discomfort.
- Communication. It sounds cheesy, but ask. "Is this okay?" or "Do you like this?" goes a long way.
- External first. Stay on the outside. Explore the surrounding areas to build anticipation.
- Use plenty of saliva. Friction is not your friend here.
- Listen to your partner. If they tense up, back off.
It's also worth noting that everyone's anatomy is slightly different. Some people have very sensitive external folds, while others only feel pleasure with deeper pressure. You’re basically a pioneer exploring a very specific map. Take your time.
Common Misconceptions That Need to Die
"It's only for gay men." Absolutely false. People of all genders and orientations enjoy anilingus. The prostate (for those who have one) can be stimulated indirectly through this act, but even without a prostate, the nerve endings are universal.
"You’ll definitely get sick." Not definitely. If you’re with a long-term, tested partner, the risks are significantly lower. It’s about calculated risk, just like any other sexual act.
"It has to involve penetration." Nope. Many people find the most pleasure in simple external contact. You don't have to be a "pro" to make it feel good.
Actionable Steps for a Better Experience
If you’re ready to try it or want to improve your "technique," here is the game plan.
First, talk about it outside of the bedroom. It’s way less awkward to bring up over dinner or while watching TV than it is when you're already naked and unsure. "Hey, I've been curious about trying X, what do you think?" is a solid opener.
Second, prioritize your health. If you haven't had an STI panel recently, go get one. Ask for the "extra" tests that aren't always included in the standard urine sample, like throat or rectal swabs, if you're engaging in diverse types of sex. Knowledge is power.
Third, invest in good hygiene products. Get some high-quality, pH-balanced wipes or a bidet attachment for your toilet. It makes the "prep" feel like less of a chore and more of a routine.
Finally, manage your expectations. The first time might be awkward. It might even be funny. That’s okay. Sex doesn't have to be a high-gloss production. Sometimes the best moments are the ones where you both end up laughing because you aren't quite sure what you're doing.
Tongue in the butt is just another way humans connect and find pleasure. As long as there is consent, communication, and a basic understanding of health, there is no reason for it to be a source of shame. It’s your body. It’s your pleasure. Own it.