Anna Kloots basically became a household name for "reclaiming her magic" in Paris. If you follow her on Instagram, you know the vibe: champagne, striped shirts, and a lot of talk about finding yourself after things fall apart. But before the Parisian romance and the New York Times bestseller list, there was a whole other life. A life where she wasn't the star, but the assistant.
Most people know she was married. They know it ended abruptly. But the details of Anna Kloots first husband, Joshua Jay, and why that marriage actually disintegrated are often glossed over in favor of the "happily ever after" sequel.
Honestly, the story isn't just about a breakup. It’s about a total identity erasure.
Who is Joshua Jay?
He wasn’t just some guy. Joshua Jay is a massive deal in the world of professional magic. We're talking about a guy who has performed in over 100 countries and published several books on the craft. He’s a "magician's magician."
Anna met him when she was young. They were both from Ohio, which gave them that common ground right from the start. When they got together, his career was already on a massive upward trajectory. Anna didn't just join his life; she folded herself into it.
She became his stage assistant. She traveled the world with him. She was the person in the box, the one being "sawed in half" while he took the applause.
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The Illusion of a Perfect Marriage
For years, the couple lived a life that looked like a dream on social media. They were globetrotting to 80 countries. They were living in a beautiful apartment in New York City. Anna was the supportive wife, the travel photographer, and the partner in a high-profile creative career.
But behind the scenes? She was disappearing.
In her memoir, My Own Magic: A Reappearing Act, Anna talks about how she slowly stopped making decisions for herself. Everything revolved around Josh’s tour schedule, Josh’s rehearsals, and Josh’s brand. She describes it as being "trapped inside a box" while the world thought she was living the ultimate adventure.
It’s a classic case of a "plus-one" identity. You’ve probably seen it before—the partner who becomes an extension of a more famous or established spouse. Anna admits she didn't even check their joint bank account for years. She just trusted the process. Until the process stopped.
The Moment it Ended
The end wasn't a long, drawn-out battle. It was a shock.
In 2019, after about eight years of marriage, Joshua Jay told her he wanted a divorce. It happened right before a planned move or a big life transition, leaving Anna completely untethered. She was 30 years old, had no career of her own, no apartment in her name, and no idea who she was without the "magician's wife" label.
It was brutal.
One of the most famous stories Anna tells—and her sister Amanda Kloots often references—is the advice she got from her late brother-in-law, Nick Cordero. Right after the split, Nick told her, "Annie, best day ever... He was holding you back. You can live your life now."
At the time, she couldn't see it. She was devastated. But looking back, that divorce was the catalyst for everything she is today.
Why People Get This Story Wrong
There’s a misconception that the divorce was about some big scandal. It wasn't. There were no tabloid headlines about cheating or hidden lives.
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Instead, it was the "death by a thousand cuts" type of breakup. It was the realization that two people had grown in completely different directions—or rather, that one person had stopped growing entirely to make room for the other.
Joshua Jay has mostly kept quiet about the split. He continues to be a leader in the magic community, running Vanishing Inc. and performing at high levels. He didn't become a "villain" in the traditional sense; he just wasn't the right partner for the person Anna was meant to become.
Life After the Magician
So, what happened next? You probably know this part.
- The Move: Anna packed up and moved to Paris alone.
- The Book: She wrote My Own Magic, which became a hit.
- The New Love: She eventually met Swann, her French boyfriend (now fiancé), in a "meet-cute" that involved a balcony and a lockdown.
The difference in her life now is night and day. With Joshua, she was the assistant. Now, she is the brand. She went from being the person who helped make the magic happen to being the person who is the magic.
Actionable Insights from Anna's Journey
If you’re looking at Anna’s story and seeing parallels in your own life, here’s what you can actually take away from it:
- Audit Your "Yeses": Anna realized she had been saying "yes" to her husband's dreams and "no" to her own for a decade. Check your own calendar. Are your commitments yours, or are they someone else's?
- The Power of Starting Over at 30: Many people feel like 30 is "too late" to reboot. Anna proves that your 30s can be your most transformative decade if you’re willing to leave the "safety" of a bad situation.
- Identify Your "Box": If you feel invisible in your relationship, you probably are. You can't fix a dynamic where one person is the lead and the other is just a prop.
- Financial Literacy is Freedom: One of Anna's biggest regrets was not being involved in her own finances. Never let someone else have total control over your security.
The story of Anna Kloots and her first husband is a reminder that sometimes, the worst thing that happens to you is actually the best thing that could have happened. It took losing her marriage for her to find her voice.
Next Steps for Readers
If you're going through a major life transition, take a page out of Anna's book—literally. Start by journaling your own "reappearing act." Write down the things you've stopped doing because they didn't fit into someone else's life. That list is your roadmap back to yourself.