You’ve probably heard of heterosexuality, bisexuality, and maybe even asexuality. But then there’s autosexuality. It sounds like something out of a sci-fi novel or a clinical manual from the fifties, doesn't it? Honestly, it’s much simpler than that, yet way more nuanced than most people realize. To put it bluntly: an autosexual person is someone who feels sexual attraction toward themselves.
That might sound confusing. You might think, "Wait, isn't that just vanity?" Or, "Isn't everyone a little bit into themselves?" Not really. There is a massive difference between liking how you look in a mirror and experiencing a genuine, primary sexual pull toward your own person. For an autosexual individual, they are their own primary partner. They are the "object" of their own desire. It isn't about being stuck up; it’s about where the spark originates.
What is an autosexual person, really?
Let's get the definitions out of the way. According to organizations like the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) and various researchers in the field of human sexuality, autosexuality exists on a broad spectrum. For some, it is their sole orientation. They aren't interested in sex with others at all. For others, it’s a layer of their identity that sits alongside being gay, straight, or bi.
Think of it this way. Most people look for a "plus one" to feel complete or aroused. An autosexual person finds that "plus one" looking back at them in the glass. It’s an internal loop of attraction.
People often confuse this with narcissism. They aren't the same. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a clinical mental health condition involving a lack of empathy and a desperate need for external validation. Autosexuality is a sexual orientation. It's about desire, not about being a jerk to everyone else. A person can be autosexual and incredibly humble, kind, and empathetic. They just happen to find themselves very, very attractive.
The difference between masturbation and autosexuality
This is the big one. Most people masturbate. It's a normal part of human biology. But for most, masturbation is a means to an end or a way to pass the time when a partner isn't around. They might use fantasies of other people to get there.
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For someone who is autosexual, the act of self-pleasure is the "main event." They aren't thinking about a celebrity or a crush. They are focused on their own body, their own sensations, and the turn-on of their own existence. It is a closed-circuit experience that feels complete. They don't feel like they are "settling" for solo sex. It’s exactly what they want.
The spectrum of the experience
It isn't a "one size fits all" label. Sexuality is messy.
Some people identify as autoromantic. This is the romantic cousin to autosexuality. An autoromantic person might take themselves out on dates, buy themselves flowers, and feel a deep sense of romantic love for themselves. It’s not just "self-care." It is a legitimate romantic relationship with the self.
Then you have the "gray" areas.
- Some people only feel autosexual tendencies when they are alone.
- Others feel them even when they are in a relationship with someone else.
- A few might find that their attraction to themselves actually increases their ability to be intimate with others because they are so in tune with their own needs.
Dr. Ghislaine Maury, a therapist who has worked with various sexual identities, often notes that recognizing these patterns can be a huge relief for people. Imagine spending years wondering why you’d rather stay home and "be with yourself" than go to a club. Finding the term autosexual can be like finding the missing piece of a puzzle.
Why the stigma persists
Society is obsessed with pairs. We are taught from birth that the goal of life is to find "The One." Movies, songs, and even taxes are geared toward couples. When someone says, "I am the one I’m looking for," people get uncomfortable.
There's a fear that autosexuality is a sign of "giving up" on others. Or that it’s a response to trauma. While some people do turn inward after bad experiences, for many, autosexuality is just how they are wired. It’s innate.
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We also live in a culture that treats self-love as a commodity. We are told to love ourselves so we can buy face masks and gym memberships. But the moment that self-love becomes sexual or romantic, it breaks a social taboo. It challenges the idea that we need someone else to be whole. That’s a radical thought for a lot of people to swallow.
Navigating relationships as an autosexual
Can an autosexual person be in a relationship? Absolutely.
It happens all the time. But it requires a lot of communication. If you’re dating someone who is autosexual, you have to understand that their "solo time" isn't a rejection of you. It’s just their primary mode of connection.
Sometimes, autosexual people identify as "poly" in a way—one partner is their spouse, and the other partner is themselves. It sounds quirky, but it works. They might need more space than the average person. They might find that they don't need sex with their partner as often because they are already fulfilled.
The key is honesty. When both partners understand that the autosexuality isn't a "flaw" or a "problem to be fixed," the relationship can actually be quite healthy. There’s less pressure on the external partner to be everything for the other person.
Living as an autosexual person in 2026
The world is slowly getting better at understanding that there are a million ways to be a human. We are moving past the binary of "gay or straight." We are even moving past the idea that everyone must want to have sex with other people.
If you think you might be autosexual, the first thing to do is breathe. You aren't broken. You aren't a narcissist. You’re just part of a smaller, less-discussed part of the human experience.
Actionable steps for self-discovery and acceptance
If this is hitting close to home, or if you're trying to support someone who just "came out" with this identity, here is how to actually handle it.
1. Stop the "Narcissist" Self-Talk. If you find yourself feeling guilty for being turned on by your own reflection or your own body, catch that thought. Remind yourself that attraction is a biological and psychological response. It’s not a moral failing.
2. Explore the "Auto" Umbrella. Check out communities on platforms like Reddit or AVEN. You’ll find that people use terms like autochoris-sexual (feeling a disconnect between yourself and a sexual fantasy) or autoromantic. Learning the lingo helps you realize you aren't the only one.
3. Practice Radical Autonomy. If you are autosexual, embrace it. Set aside time for yourself that isn't just about "getting it over with." Make it an experience. Buy the nice sheets. Use the good oil. Treat yourself with the same respect and "vibe" you would give a high-value partner.
4. Communicate with Partners (If You Have Them). If you’re in a relationship, explain that your self-attraction is a part of your identity, like your height or your hair color. It doesn't mean you love them less. It just means you have a very active relationship with yourself.
5. Redefine "Fulfillment." Ignore the rom-coms. If you are happiest being your own primary partner, that is a successful life. Success is defined by your internal peace, not by whether or not you have a wedding ring or a roommate.
The reality is that we spend every second of our lives with ourselves. For an autosexual person, that’s not a burden—it’s the ultimate perk. Understanding this identity is about stripping away the shame and realizing that the "self" can be a destination, not just a starting point. It’s a valid, documented, and increasingly recognized way to exist in the world.
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Accepting that you—or someone you know—might be their own "type" is the first step toward a more inclusive understanding of what it means to be human. It’s about time we stopped looking at the mirror as a sign of vanity and started seeing it as a possible source of genuine, harmless joy.
Resources for further reading:
- The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN)
- The Kinsey Institute on Sexual Orientation
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (Research on Self-Directed Sexuality)