Carlos 2 of Spain Explained: Why This King Was Way More Than Just a Meme

You've probably seen the memes. The ones featuring a pale guy with a jaw so long it looks like a geological shelf and eyes that seem to be looking into two different zip codes at once. That's Carlos 2 of Spain.

History books usually treat him like a punchline. They call him "El Hechizado" (The Bewitched). They talk about his "peppercorn heart" and his "head full of water." But honestly, looking at Carlos as just a genetic disaster is kinda missing the point. He was a human being stuck in the middle of a dying empire, fighting a losing battle against his own DNA from the second he was born.

The Genetic Debt No One Could Pay

The Spanish Habsburgs had a problem. They really, really liked keeping power in the family. To do that, they married their cousins. Then their nieces. Then their cousins again.

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By the time Carlos 2 of Spain arrived in 1661, his family tree wasn't even a tree anymore. It was basically a single, tangled vine. His father, Philip IV, was his mother's uncle. Think about that for a second. Most of us have two parents and four grandparents. Carlos’s family was so intertwined that his inbreeding coefficient was 0.254.

That number is wild. It means he was more inbred than the child of a brother and sister.

Because of this, his life was basically a marathon of medical issues. He didn't speak until he was four. He didn't walk until he was eight. His jaw—the famous "Habsburg Jaw"—was so pronounced that his teeth didn't meet. He couldn't chew his food. He literally had to swallow everything whole, which caused massive digestive issues.

What Modern Science Says About The "Witchcraft"

Back in the 17th century, people didn't understand genetics. They thought he was cursed. They performed exorcisms on him. They brought in relics and shouted at demons to leave his body.

But if we look at Carlos 2 of Spain through a 2026 lens, the "magic" disappears and is replaced by some pretty heavy medical diagnoses. Researchers like Gonzalo Alvarez have spent years crunching the numbers on the Habsburg pedigree.

He likely suffered from two specific recessive disorders:

• Combined Pituitary Hormone Deficiency: This explains his short stature, his infertility, and why he looked like an old man when he was still in his thirties.
• Distal Renal Tubular Acidosis: This is likely why his head was described as "full of water" and why he suffered from such severe muscle weakness and bone pain.

There’s also a newer theory from a 2021 study in BMJ Neurology Open suggesting he might have had aspartylglucosaminuria. It’s a mouthful, but it basically causes developmental delays and that very specific facial structure we see in the portraits.

It Wasn't All Exorcisms and Drool

Here’s the thing people get wrong: Carlos wasn't just sitting in a dark room being "bewitched" for 35 years.

He actually tried.

Despite being chronically ill and barely able to stand, Carlos 2 of Spain presided over some surprisingly successful reforms. In the 1680s, his government managed to stabilize the currency. They tackled the massive inflation that had been wrecking the Spanish economy for decades.

He was also the guy who signed the Recopilación de las leyes de Indias in 1680. It was a massive, organized collection of laws for the Spanish colonies in America. It wasn't just a legal book; it was an attempt to make the empire actually functional.

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Spain didn't collapse under him. In fact, in some ways, it stayed more stable than it had been under his "stronger" ancestors. The court developed a way to work around his disabilities. They used a system of validos (favorites) and ministers who handled the day-to-day grit.

He wasn't a hero, but he wasn't a total failure either. He was a caretaker.

The Famous (and Gross) Autopsy

When Carlos finally died in 1700, just before his 39th birthday, the doctors performed an autopsy that read like a horror novel.

The physician wrote that his body "did not contain a single drop of blood; his heart was the size of a peppercorn; his lungs corroded; his intestines rotten and gangrenous; he had a single testicle, black as coal, and his head was full of water."

Is that medically possible? Sorta.

Modern historians think the doctors were being a bit dramatic. The "head full of water" was likely hydrocephalus. The "peppercorn heart" could have been extreme atrophy. The "no blood" part? Probably just an exaggeration to show how drained and spent the king was at the end.

Why We Still Care

Carlos 2 of Spain matters because he represents the ultimate end-point of dynastic ego. The Habsburgs were so obsessed with their "pure" blood that they accidentally poisoned it.

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His death sparked the War of the Spanish Succession, a massive European conflict that lasted 13 years and reshaped the map of the world. Because he couldn't have kids, he left his throne to a French prince, ending the Habsburg line in Spain forever.

He’s a lesson in what happens when institutions refuse to adapt.

Actionable Takeaways for History Buffs

If you want to understand the real Carlos beyond the memes, here is what you should do:

1. Look at the Portraits Chronologically: Don't just look at the most famous "ugly" one. Look at the works of Juan Carreño de Miranda. You can see the progression of his illnesses and the way the artists tried to hide his deformities with lighting and clothing.
2. Visit the Prado Museum's Digital Archive: They have high-resolution scans of the Habsburg family. Seeing the jaw develop across generations (from Carlos I to Carlos II) makes the genetic reality hit much harder.
3. Read the 1680 Monetary Reforms: If you're into economics, look up how his ministers actually managed to fix the copper currency. It’s one of the few "wins" of his reign that history usually ignores.
4. Acknowledge the Nuance: Next time you see a meme of him, remember he was a guy who spent 38 years in constant physical pain, was told he was possessed by demons, and still managed to sign laws that governed half the world.

He wasn't a monster. He was just the guy left holding the bill for 200 years of family bad decisions.