You’re walking down the street, maybe thinking about your grocery list or that email you forgot to send, and suddenly a sharp whistle cuts through the air. Or maybe it’s a "Hey, beautiful!" yelled from a passing car window. It feels jarring. It’s invasive. But if you ask ten different people to define cat calling, you might get ten different answers ranging from "it’s just a joke" to "it’s a form of public harassment."
Let’s get real.
Cat calling is basically the act of making unwanted sexual comments, provocative gestures, or literal animal noises—like whistling or barking—at strangers in public spaces. It’s a specific flavor of street harassment. It’s not about finding love or even getting a phone number. If we’re being honest, it’s mostly about power and the temporary thrill of making someone else feel visible in a way they didn't ask for.
What is cat calling actually like in the real world?
It isn't always a cinematic "hubba-hubba" moment from a 1940s cartoon. It's often much grittier. For many, it starts young. According to a massive 2014 study by Stop Street Harassment, a non-profit that tracks these trends, about 65% of women have experienced some form of street harassment, and for many, that first whistle happened before they were even out of high school.
Think about that.
It can be a "smile for me, honey" while you’re waiting for the bus. It might be someone following you for a block while commenting on your leggings. Sometimes it’s just a group of guys leaning against a storefront, making kissing sounds as you pass. It’s loud. It’s public. And it almost always happens when the person being targeted is alone or outnumbered.
Maya Angelou once famously noted that "words mean more than what is set down on paper," and in the context of the street, a "compliment" from a stranger isn't a gift—it's a claim on your space.
The "Compliment" Myth
We need to address the elephant in the room. Some people—usually those who haven't been on the receiving end—honestly think cat calling is a clumsy attempt at flirting. They’ll say, "She should be flattered!" or "I was just being nice."
But here is the thing: a compliment is for the person receiving it. Cat calling is for the person doing it.
When you give a genuine compliment, you usually look for a social opening. You don't scream it from a moving vehicle. You don't use sexualized language with a stranger who is clearly just trying to get to work. Research from the Journal of Gender, Culture, and Health suggests that these interactions actually trigger a "flight or fight" response rather than a "thank you" response. The recipient isn't thinking, Oh, how sweet, they’re thinking, Is this person going to follow me? Are they dangerous?
The Psychology: Why do people do it?
It’s rarely about attraction. Honestly, if a guy thinks yelling "Nice legs!" at a woman who is sprinting to catch a train will result in a romantic date, his understanding of human social dynamics is severely broken.
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Psychologists often point to "performative masculinity." Often, cat calling happens when men are in groups. It’s a way to show off to their friends. It’s a "look at me, I’m dominant" move. Dr. Michael Kimmel, a sociologist who has written extensively on masculinity, suggests that these behaviors are often about reinforcing a social hierarchy where the person doing the yelling feels like they "own" the public space.
- Dominance: It’s a way to assert presence.
- Impulse: Sometimes it’s just a lack of social filter combined with a sense of entitlement.
- Validation: Seeking a reaction—any reaction—to feel seen.
It’s kinda like a toddler throwing a toy. They don't necessarily want the toy; they want you to look at them because they threw it. Except in this case, the "toy" is a verbal assault on a stranger’s peace of mind.
Is cat calling illegal?
This is where things get blurry. In the United States, there isn't a single federal law that says "no cat calling." It’s a patchwork of local ordinances.
In some places, like France, they’ve actually taken a hard line. In 2018, France passed a law that allows for on-the-spot fines for "sexist outrage," which includes things like lewd comments or following someone. They’ve issued thousands of fines since then. It sent a clear message: the street belongs to everyone, not just the loudest person on it.
In the U.S., you might run into "disorderly conduct" or "harassment" laws, but they are notoriously hard to enforce. Unless the harasser touches you or makes a very specific threat of violence, police rarely intervene. However, some cities like New York and Washington D.C. have launched public awareness campaigns to remind people that street harassment is a violation of community standards, even if it’s hard to put someone in handcuffs for it.
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The intersectional reality
We can't talk about cat calling without acknowledging that it hits different people in different ways. Women of color, members of the LGBTQ+ community, and trans individuals often report that the harassment they face is more frequent and more aggressive. It’s not just about gender; it’s often laced with racial slurs or homophobic vitriol.
For a Black woman, a cat call might transition into a racial insult the second she ignores the "compliment." For a trans woman, it can move from fetishization to physical threat in a heartbeat. This isn't just "annoying" behavior. For many, it’s a constant safety assessment.
The impact: It's more than just noise
If you've never been cat called, you might think, "Just ignore it, what's the big deal?"
But it's cumulative. It’s the "death by a thousand cuts" theory. When you can't walk to the corner store without being evaluated like a piece of meat, you start changing your behavior. You take longer routes. You wear headphones with no music playing so you have an excuse to look away. You choose your outfits based on "how much attention will this get me?" rather than "what do I want to wear?"
This is called "environmental restriction." It’s the subtle way public harassment shrinks a person's world.
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How to handle it (and what to do if you see it)
There is no "perfect" way to respond because the person cat calling is already breaking social rules. You don't owe them a "thank you," but you also don't owe them your safety.
- Safety First: If the area is deserted, keep moving. Don't engage. Your goal is to get to a populated, well-lit area.
- The "No" Response: If you feel safe and want to say something, a firm "Don't talk to me like that" or "That's not okay" can sometimes work. But be aware that some harassers escalate when challenged.
- The "Grey Rock" Method: Become as boring as a grey rock. No eye contact. No facial expression. Just keep walking as if they are a literal gust of wind.
- Documentation: If it’s persistent or feels like stalking, get your phone out. Sometimes the threat of being recorded is enough to make a harasser back off.
For the Bystanders
If you see someone getting cat called, you have power. You don't have to get into a fistfight. The "Five D's" of bystander intervention (developed by Right To Be) are incredibly effective:
- Distract: Ask the person being harassed for directions or pretend you know them. "Hey, Sarah! I haven't seen you in forever!" This breaks the tension.
- Delegate: Find an authority figure—a bus driver, a store manager, or a security guard.
- Document: Record the interaction from a safe distance, but never post it without the victim's permission.
- Direct: Speak up. "That’s inappropriate. Leave them alone." Only do this if you feel safe.
- Delay: Check in with the person afterward. "Are you okay? That was really gross of them." This small act of validation helps more than you think.
Moving forward
The conversation around what is cat calling is shifting. Gen Z and Gen Alpha are significantly less tolerant of this behavior than previous generations. What used to be "just part of being a girl" is now being recognized for what it is: a barrier to public safety and equality.
Stopping it isn't about "policing speech." It’s about building a culture where everyone can walk down the sidewalk without having their day ruined by someone else's ego. It’s about respect. It’s about the simple, radical idea that a stranger’s body isn't public property.
If you want to help change the culture, start by calling it out in your own circles. When a friend whistles at someone, don't laugh. Ask them why they did it. Making it "awkward" for the harasser is often the most effective way to stop the behavior in its tracks.
Practical Steps for Real Change
- Educate yourself and others: Share resources from organizations like Right To Be or Stop Street Harassment to help people understand the psychological toll of these interactions.
- Support local legislation: Look into whether your city has "street harassment" task forces or public safety initiatives that address non-physical harassment.
- Practice active allyship: If you are in a position of privilege, use your voice to de-escalate situations when you see them happening in real-time.
- Teach consent early: For parents and educators, shifting the focus to bodily autonomy and respect for personal space in public is the long-term solution to ending the cycle of street harassment.