Drew Barrymore Parenting: What Most People Get Wrong About Her Boundaries

Drew Barrymore Parenting: What Most People Get Wrong About Her Boundaries

You probably remember the headlines. The ones about Drew Barrymore locking iPads in a safe or refusing to let her daughters, Olive and Frankie, follow in her child-star footsteps. People love to talk about it like it’s some extreme, Hollywood-style overcorrection. But if you actually listen to her talk about it—I mean really listen—it’s not about being a "strict" mom. It’s about a woman who had to raise herself and is now desperately trying to figure out how to be the person she needed when she was seven years old.

Honestly, it’s kinda fascinating.

Drew Barrymore parenting isn't a set of rigid rules. It's a reaction to a childhood that had zero guardrails. We’re talking about a girl who was at Studio 54 before she could do long division. So, when she says "no" to her kids, it’s not coming from a place of wanting control. It’s coming from a place of knowing exactly what happens when nobody says no to you.

The Digital Safe and the Phone Drama

One of the biggest things that went viral recently was the whole iPad-in-a-safe thing. It sounds intense, right? Like she’s running a high-security prison for tablets. But during the pandemic, she noticed what most of us noticed: her kids were becoming digital zombies. Instead of just nagging them, she literally put the devices in a safe. They only come out for special occasions.

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Then there’s the phone situation.

She actually gave her daughter Olive a phone for her 11th birthday because "all her friends had one." Sound familiar? We've all been there. But then she saw the "high stakes emotions" and the way digital life was bleeding into their real peace. So, she did something pretty wild. She printed out every single text message on actual paper and handed her daughter a stack of pages.

The message? These words are permanent. They exist somewhere even when you don't see them.

She eventually took the phone back. She told her daughter it wasn't a punishment for her character—it just "wasn't time yet." That’s a huge distinction. It’s staying in the discomfort of your child being mad at you because you know the alternative is worse.

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Self-Regulation Over "Chasing"

For a long time, Drew admitted she was "chasing" her kids’ feelings. If Olive was upset, Drew would run after her, trying to fix it, trying to make the "bad" go away. Most of us do this. It feels like love.

But it’s actually exhausting for everyone.

She brought parenting expert Dr. Aliza Pressman onto her show and shared a breakthrough that changed everything. Pressman taught her to stop chasing. Instead of trying to "fix" a meltdown, Drew now stands on the other side of the door. She says something like, "I understand we're having a moment. I'm here when you're ready."

And then she just... breathes.

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It’s about regulating yourself as the adult. As Dr. Pressman put it, you aren't being chased by a bear. Your kid isn't being chased by a bear. It’s just a feeling. Feelings aren't dangerous; they’re just weather. You can’t control the weather, but you can dress for it.

The Co-Parenting Reality with Will Kopelman

Despite a "painful" divorce in 2016, Drew and her ex-husband, Will Kopelman, have somehow nailed the whole "modern family" vibe. They go trick-or-treating together. They hang out with Will's new wife, Allie.

She calls them a "daily engagement."

There’s no "us vs. them" here. She’s been very vocal about the fact that once you have kids, you’re never not together. You just change the shape of the togetherness. She even credits her own messy history with her mother, Jaid, for why she works so hard at this. By finding compassion for her own mother’s "weird, crazy choices," she feels like she’s opening a door for her daughters to have compassion for her when she inevitably messes up.

Because she knows she will.

Why the "No Acting" Rule is Different

People ask her all the time: "Will they act?"
The answer is basically: "Not while they're kids."

She supports school plays. She supports theater camp. She loves their creativity—Olive is apparently a mini fashion designer who tailors her own clothes, and Frankie is the organized one with "incredible systems." But professional acting? Being in the public eye? That’s a hard pass until they’re much older.

She’s seen the "toxically riddled" side of the industry. She’s lived the "sad sob story" version of being 13. She wants them to have the luxury of being anonymous while their brains are still growing.

Actionable Insights from Drew’s Playbook

If you're looking to borrow some of that "Barrymore energy" for your own house, here’s the real-world breakdown of what she actually does:

  • Model the "No-Phone" Life: She doesn't just tell them to put phones away; she doesn't charge her own phone in her bedroom at night. Lead by example or don't bother.
  • The "Other Side of the Door" Trick: When a kid is spiraling, don't follow them. Stay nearby, let them know you’re available, but let them feel their feelings without you trying to "solve" them.
  • Digital Literacy is a Physical Thing: If tech is becoming an issue, make it tangible. Printing out texts or putting devices in a physical "lock box" removes the constant negotiation.
  • The High Road is a Map: In co-parenting, she constantly chooses the "high road" because kids are always watching. They don't listen to what you say; they watch what you do.

Drew Barrymore isn't trying to be a perfect parent. She’s trying to be a "present" one. She’s honest about being under-slept, nervous, and sometimes feeling like an outcast among "together" moms. But by setting those hard boundaries now, she’s giving her kids the one thing she never had: a soft place to land and a parent who isn't afraid to say "not yet."

If you're struggling with screen time tonight, maybe just remember the safe. It’s okay to be the "bad guy" if it means you're being the protector they actually need. Focus on your own breathing before you try to calm theirs. It’s a long game, and as Drew says, it’s the best ride you'll ever be on.