Life has a funny way of circling back on itself, especially for someone like Elizabeth Gilbert. We’ve watched her travel the globe, fall in love in Bali, marry "Felipe" (José Nunes), and then spectacularly blow up her life again when she realized she was in love with her best friend, Rayya Elias. But there’s a quieter chapter that many people missed—or at least, they don’t quite remember how it ended. It involves a man named Simon MacArthur and a relationship that was born out of shared grief.
Honestly, when Gilbert announced she was dating Simon back in 2019, it felt like a plot twist even for her. He wasn't just some random guy. He was a photographer from the UK and one of Rayya’s oldest friends. They had lived together in London decades ago. When he and Liz got together, it felt like they were holding onto a piece of Rayya together.
But as quickly as that flame sparked, it flickered out. The Elizabeth Gilbert Simon MacArthur split wasn't a scandal. It didn't involve a messy public breakup or a 500-page memoir. It just... stopped.
The Unexpected Romance After Loss
To understand why they split, you have to understand why they started. Rayya Elias passed away in early 2018 from pancreatic and liver cancer. For Liz, Rayya was everything—her "comet" and her "rock star." Anyone who has lost a soulmate knows that the year following is a blur of numbness and desperate reaching for anything that feels familiar.
Simon MacArthur was that familiarity.
In March 2019, Liz posted a beautiful black-and-white photo of them on Instagram. She talked about "rebirth and renewal." She told her followers that it was okay to love again, even if you’re middle-aged and terrified. She was essentially giving herself—and her audience—permission to move on.
It was a "warm place to land," as she put it.
Why the Relationship Was Different
Unlike her marriage to José Nunes, which was defined by a specific kind of domesticity and a business partnership (remember their shop, Two Buttons?), the connection with Simon was rooted in a shared history of loving the same woman.
- Shared Grief: They both missed Rayya intensely.
- The Friend Connection: Simon wasn't a stranger; he was "family" in a non-traditional sense.
- A British Perspective: Simon brought a different energy from her previous American and Brazilian partners.
The Quiet Reality of the Elizabeth Gilbert Simon MacArthur Split
So, what happened? Why did the woman who wrote the book on finding love decide to walk away from this "sweetheart"?
The split happened roughly a year after they went public. There were no dramatic Instagram posts this time. No "Eat, Pray, Love" style explanations. Instead, the news trickled out much later. In an interview with The Guardian and other publications in late 2020 and 2021, Liz admitted that she was single again.
She described the relationship with Simon as "short-lived."
Was it a "Rebound" or Something Else?
In hindsight, many relationship experts and fans view the pairing as a transitional romance. When you lose a partner, the first person you date often serves as a bridge. They help you transition from the world of the "couple" back into the world of the "living."
Liz basically admitted this later. She noted that she had spent years trying to get things from men that she actually needed to be getting from herself—or from her female friendships. The Elizabeth Gilbert Simon MacArthur split seemed to be the moment she finally decided to stop looking for a "landing place" in someone else's arms.
"A lot of what I spent years trying to get from men, I actually needed to be getting from women," Gilbert later reflected.
Life After Simon: A New Kind of Singleness
Since the split, Elizabeth Gilbert has leaned heavily into a life that doesn't center on a romantic partner. If you follow her now, you see a woman obsessed with her garden, her writing, and her "fellowship" of friends. She’s moved away from the "seduction addiction" she once admitted to.
It’s a massive shift. In Eat, Pray, Love, the goal was finding the balance between divinity and pleasure—often personified by a man. Now, her life seems more about the "divinity" of solitude and the "pleasure" of being unattached.
What Most People Get Wrong About the Breakup
People love to look for "the tea." Did he cheat? Did she realize she wasn't into men anymore?
The reality is likely much more boring. Grief-bonding is incredibly strong but often temporary. Once the initial fog of loss lifts, you sometimes realize that the only thing holding you to the other person was the person who is no longer there. Without Rayya as the bridge, Liz and Simon were just two people with very different lives—one a UK-based photographer, the other a global superstar author based in the US.
What We Can Learn from Their Story
The Elizabeth Gilbert Simon MacArthur split offers a pretty profound lesson for anyone navigating life after a major loss or a mid-life identity shift.
📖 Related: Who Is Ellen Smith? Why Will Smith’s Sister Stays Out of the Spotlight
First, it’s okay for a relationship to be a "chapter" rather than a "book." We’ve been conditioned to think that if a relationship ends, it was a failure. But Simon served a purpose. He provided warmth when Liz was cold with grief. That’s not a failure; that’s a gift.
Second, the "rebound" isn't always a bad thing. It's a survival mechanism. If Simon helped her feel "16 again" for a few months during the darkest year of her life, then the relationship was a success, regardless of its duration.
Actionable Insights for Moving On
If you find yourself in a situation similar to Liz's—dating after a loss or a long marriage—keep these things in mind:
- Don't rush the "Forever" label. Let the relationship be what it is today. If it's just a "warm place to land," that's enough.
- Acknowledge the role of shared history. If you’re dating a friend of an ex or a deceased partner, recognize that your bond is partially built on that third person. Be prepared for the dynamic to change as your grief evolves.
- Check your "Seduction Addictions." Like Liz, ask yourself if you’re seeking a partner to avoid being alone with your own thoughts.
- Prioritize friendship. Gilbert’s most stable and fulfilling "loves" in recent years have been her platonic ones. Sometimes, the "one" isn't a spouse; it's a community.
The story of Elizabeth Gilbert and Simon MacArthur might not be the epic romance that Eat, Pray, Love fans were expecting, but it’s a very human one. It’s a story about trying, failing, and eventually finding peace in the quiet of your own company.