After years of legal firestorms, freezing assets, and that infamous "it’s expensive to be me" lifestyle crumbling in real-time, Erika Jayne has finally found something that doesn't involve a courtroom. A boyfriend. But he isn’t some Beverly Hills power attorney or a glitzy music executive. Honestly, he’s basically the exact opposite of what everyone expected for the Pretty Mess singer.
His name is John "Shrek" McPhee.
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If you haven't been keeping up with the 2026 Bravo circuit, the news of the Erika Jayne boyfriend situation might feel like it came out of nowhere. We’re talking about a woman who spent two decades with Tom Girardi. Now, she’s dating a guy whose nickname is "The Sheriff of Baghdad" and who makes a living in the world of elite military tactical training. It’s a wild pivot, even for her.
Who is John McPhee? Not Your Typical Bravo Boyfriend
Let’s get the basics out of the way. John McPhee isn't just some guy Erika met at a club. He’s a retired US Army Special Operations Sergeant Major. He spent over 20 years in the service, including high-stakes deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan.
People in military circles call him "one of the greatest war fighters of all time." He’s appeared on The Joe Rogan Experience and The Shawn Ryan Show, talking about high-risk missions and surviving a pretty gritty childhood in South Chicago.
He runs a business called SOB Tactical. He trains civilians and law enforcement how to shoot with forensic precision. It is a world away from the $40,000-a-month glam squads and the sequined cat-suits of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
How They Met (It was actually Erika’s move)
Kinda surprisingly, Erika was the one who initiated things. They met in London during the Mighty Hoopla festival in June 2025. Erika was performing, and John was there working security for Heidi Montag. Yes, that Heidi Montag.
Apparently, Erika had seen John on a few podcasts and thought he was "interesting." When she saw him backstage, she just walked up and introduced herself. She told him she was a fan of his work. Bold? Sure. But that’s Erika.
The Relationship Timeline: From Secret Dates to Public Hand-Holding
They’ve been together for about seven months now. Things first got "real" for the public in July 2025 when they were papped holding hands on their way to—of all places—a nail salon for a mani-pedi.
Erika later admitted on her podcast, Diamonds in the Rough, that she was actually annoyed the moment was caught on camera. She’d spent five years being single and just wanted a "nice, private moment." Since then, she’s been trying to keep him away from the RHOBH cameras as much as possible.
- June 2024: Met backstage in London.
- July 2024: Photographed on a "manicure date" in LA.
- October 2024: Traveled together to Panama for a stem cell clinic visit. Erika called it "one of the best trips" of her life.
- December 2025: Spent the holidays together.
- January 2026: Erika confirmed on the RHOBH After Show that they are still very much together.
Why Erika is Keeping Him Off-Screen
You won't see John sitting at a dinner party arguing with Sutton Stracke anytime soon. Erika has been very vocal about the fact that "no one has met him" from the cast.
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She told Us Weekly that she knows how bad reality TV is for relationships. She’s protecting this one. While he made a tiny appearance on FaceTime during Season 15, he hasn't filmed any major scenes. He lives in North Carolina, and she’s in LA. The long-distance thing actually seems to work for them. She’s 54, he’s 54. They both like their space.
The "Divorce" Elephant in the Room
Here is the part that gets a bit complicated. Both of them are technically still dealing with the fallout of previous marriages.
Erika’s divorce from Tom Girardi has been famously stuck in legal limbo since 2020 because of Tom's health issues and massive fraud trials. Meanwhile, John McPhee filed for divorce from his wife, Jennifer Blanton, in February 2025.
Some fans have raised eyebrows at the overlap, but Erika seems unfazed. She says she needs someone "calm and centered" after the chaos of the last five years. John, who has been divorced "several times" due to the strain of his military career, seems to understand that baggage better than most.
What This Means for Erika’s Future
Is this a "forever" thing? Who knows. But for a woman who has been under a microscope for years, John McPhee represents a shift toward a "soft life" era—even if that boyfriend is a rugged tactical instructor.
Actionable Insights for Fans & Followers:
- Don't expect a wedding: Both are still legally entangled in prior divorces.
- Watch the Podcasts: If you want to know what John is actually like, skip Bravo and listen to his appearances on The Shawn Ryan Show. He talks more about his life there than he ever will on a Housewives reunion.
- Check the Net Worth: While Erika’s wealth has been slashed, she’s still worth an estimated $5 million. John is doing fine for himself with a reported $2.5 million, largely from his business and military pension.
The biggest takeaway? Erika isn't looking for a "sugar daddy" anymore. She’s looking for a protector who doesn't care about the cameras. In the world of Beverly Hills, that might be the rarest find of all.