It’s one of those things that’s simultaneously over-hyped and totally misunderstood. You’ve seen it in movies—or maybe just heard the whispers on Reddit—and now you’re curious. But honestly? The first time to squirt is rarely some cinematic, explosive moment that happens out of nowhere. It’s usually a bit messy, kinda confusing, and often involves a lot of "wait, did I just pee?" anxiety.
Let's get the big elephant out of the room. Female ejaculation (the more formal term) isn't a universal experience for everyone, but it’s a biological reality for many. It’s not just a "porn thing." It’s a physiological response involving the Skene’s glands, which are basically the female equivalent of the prostate.
If you’re aiming for that first experience, you’ve got to ditch the pressure. Stress is the ultimate "O" killer. If you're overthinking the mechanics, your pelvic floor is going to be tighter than a drum, and that’s the exact opposite of what needs to happen.
The anatomy of the first time to squirt
Most people think it’s all about the G-spot. While that’s a huge part of the equation, it’s not the whole story. The Skene’s glands sit right near the urethra. When they get stimulated through the vaginal wall—specifically that textured area about two inches in—they can produce fluid.
Dr. Beverly Whipple, the researcher who basically put the G-spot on the map in the 80s, has spent decades explaining that this fluid isn't just urine. It contains prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP). That's a fancy way of saying it has chemical markers similar to male seminal fluid.
But here’s the kicker. Recent studies, including a 2014 study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, used ultrasound to show that the bladder often fills up right before ejaculation and empties during. So, is it pee? Is it "ejaculate"? It’s often a mix.
Does that matter? Not really. If it feels good, it feels good.
Setting the stage (literally)
You need towels. Seriously. Put down two. One for the "just in case" and another because a wet mattress is a vibe-killer that lasts for three days while it air-dries.
Hydration is your best friend here. If your body is dehydrated, it’s not going to produce much of anything. Drink a glass of water an hour before. Not so much that you’re bursting, but enough that your system has something to work with.
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- Relaxation is king. Take a bath. Listen to a podcast.
- Empty your bladder first. This sounds counterintuitive, but it helps distinguish the "I need to pee" sensation from the "I’m about to ejaculate" sensation.
- Communication. If you're with a partner, tell them you're experimenting. It takes the "performance" aspect out of it.
The "I need to pee" sensation
This is where 90% of people stop. Right before it happens, there is an intense, almost overwhelming urge to urinate. It’s a physical trigger. Your brain sends a signal saying, "Hey! Stop! We’re about to have an accident!"
To get to your first time to squirt, you have to push past that. You have to lean into the sensation rather than pulling back or tightening your muscles. It feels like a loss of control. That’s because it is a release of tension.
If you tense up, you’re essentially clamping the "pipes" shut. You want to practice "bearing down" slightly—almost like you’re trying to push something out—rather than pulling your pelvic floor up (the way you do with Kegels).
Technique matters more than force
Forget the "jackhammer" approach. High-intensity vibration can sometimes numb the area rather than stimulate the deeper tissues. You want "come hither" motions. Use two fingers, palms up, and hook them toward the belly button.
Firm, consistent pressure is usually better than fast, light tapping.
There's a specific rhythm to it. Think of it like a wave. You build the sensation, let it plateau, and then give it a little more "oomph" when that urge to pee starts to peak. Some people find that using a toy designed for G-spot stimulation—something with a curved head—is way easier than manual work because it doesn't get tired.
Misconceptions that ruin the experience
A huge myth is that it happens every time you climax. Nope. For many, ejaculation and orgasm are two totally separate events that just happen to hang out together sometimes. You can have a massive orgasm with zero fluid, and you can ejaculate without a peak "climax" feeling.
Another one? Volume.
Internet videos make it look like a fire hose. In reality, the first time to squirt might just be a few tablespoons. It might just be a damp patch on the towel. Comparing yourself to professional performers who are often over-hydrated or using cinematic tricks is a recipe for disappointment.
Why it might not be happening
If you’re trying too hard, it won't happen.
The pelvic floor is a fickle thing. If you’ve had surgery in the area, or if you struggle with chronic pelvic pain (like hypertonic pelvic floor), your muscles might be guarded.
Also, certain medications—especially SSRIs or some blood pressure meds—can dampen the nerve response. It doesn’t mean it’s impossible; it just means the "threshold" for stimulation is higher.
Actionable steps for your first attempt
Don't treat this like a mission. Treat it like an exploration. If nothing happens, you still had a good time, right? That's the mindset you need.
- Prep the space. Clear the clutter. Put the towels down. Get the lube—specifically water-based lube, as it stays slippery longer and won't irritate the urethra.
- Focus on the build-up. Don't go straight for the G-spot. Spend 15-20 minutes on general arousal. Blood flow to the entire pelvic region is necessary to engorge the Skene's glands.
- The "Push" Technique. When you feel that "I need to go" sensation, do not clench. Instead, try to breathe through your mouth and gently push out with your pelvic muscles.
- Try different positions. Being on your back is standard, but some people find that being on all fours (cowgirl style) allows for better "gravity" and a different angle of pressure on the anterior vaginal wall.
- Use a "G-Spot" toy. If you're solo, look for something firm. Soft silicone often absorbs the pressure you're trying to apply. You want something that can really "hook" into that spot.
The most important thing to remember about your first time to squirt is that your body is unique. There is no "right" way for it to look or feel. Some people find it incredibly life-changing and cathartic; others do it once and think, "Okay, that was a lot of laundry for a Tuesday." Both are perfectly valid.
Focus on the pleasure, not the "result." When you stop chasing the fluid, you're much more likely to find it.
Next Steps for Exploration
- Assess your pelvic floor health: If you find it hard to relax your muscles, a session with a pelvic floor physical therapist can help you learn how to "release" rather than just "contract."
- Track your cycle: Some people report higher sensitivity and fluid production during ovulation when estrogen levels are peaking.
- Experiment with different types of stimulation: Combine clitoral suction with G-spot pressure to see how your body responds to dual-nerve activation.
- Practice mindful breathing: Work on "belly breathing" to keep your nervous system in the parasympathetic (rest and digest) state, which is where sexual release happens best.