Death is awkward. We don't like to talk about it, and we definitely don't like to look at it. Most of us just want to hand a body over to a funeral director in a suit and pretend the whole thing isn't happening. But From Here to Eternity by Caitlin Doughty basically kicks the door down on that entire mindset. It isn't a "spooky" book, even though it deals with corpses and rituals that might make your skin crawl at first. It’s actually a travelogue. Doughty, a mortician who founded The Order of the Good Death, spent years traveling the globe to see how other cultures handle their dead. What she found makes the sterile, expensive American funeral industry look, well, a little bit crazy.
The book is a wild ride. One minute you're in a high-tech "skyscraper" columbarium in Tokyo, and the next you’re in a rural village in Indonesia where families keep their dead relatives in the house for years. Literally. They dress them. They talk to them. It sounds wild, right? But Doughty argues that these "bizarre" practices might actually be healthier than our habit of whisking bodies away into refrigerated basements.
The Problem With the "American Way" of Death
Most people in the West think of death as a medical failure or a legal chore. We’ve been conditioned to think that a body is "biohazardous" or dangerous, which Doughty quickly points out is a total myth unless the person died of something like Ebola. This fear has created a massive industry. In From Here to Eternity by Caitlin Doughty, she explores how we’ve been priced out of our own grieving process. We pay thousands for chemicals to pump into veins and fancy metal boxes that will just sit in a concrete vault.
It’s disconnected. It’s lonely.
Doughty’s writing is punchy. She doesn't use academic jargon. She’s honest about the smell of a crematorium and the sound of bone fragments being crushed. By being so blunt, she strips away the "creepy" factor and replaces it with curiosity. She suggests that by distancing ourselves from the physical reality of death, we’ve actually made our grief harder to process. We’ve traded intimacy for "professionalism," and honestly, it’s not a great deal.
Why Indonesia Changes Everything
In the Tana Toraja region of Indonesia, death isn't a full stop. It's a comma. Doughty describes families who live with the deceased for months or years. They call them "a person who is sick" rather than a corpse. They offer them food. They change their clothes. To a Westerner, this feels like the plot of a horror movie. But as you read her account, you realize something profound: these people aren't traumatized. They have a slow, gentle transition into loss. They aren't rushing to "get over it."
She contrasts this with our system, where you have maybe three days to weep before you’re expected back at your cubicle. The Torajans have a community-wide celebration that involves buffalo sacrifices and massive feasts. It's loud. It's visceral. It’s real.
From Here to Eternity by Caitlin Doughty: The Global Perspective
Doughty doesn't just stick to the "exotic" East. She looks at things happening right in the West that we just happen to ignore or suppress.
In Crestone, Colorado, there is one of the only legal open-air funeral pyres in the United States. Doughty describes the experience of watching a body burn under the stars. It isn't gruesome in her telling; it's elemental. There’s no heavy machinery, no industrial burners—just wood, fire, and the community. This is a recurring theme in the book: community involvement. When we outsource death, we lose the chance to say goodbye with our hands.
The High-Tech Tombs of Japan
Japan is fascinating because they have a space problem. You can't just keep burying people in a crowded city like Tokyo. So, they’ve innovated. Doughty visits the Koubukuji temple’s Ruriden columbarium. It’s a room filled with thousands of tiny glass Buddha statues lit by LED lights. When a visitor swipes a high-tech card, the specific Buddha representing their loved one glows a different color. It’s like a neon-lit futuristic graveyard.
Even in this ultra-modern setting, the Japanese maintain a connection to the physical remains. There is a ritual called kotsuage where family members use large chopsticks to pick the bones out of the cremation ashes and place them in an urn. It’s a tactile, shared experience. It’s the polar opposite of the American "direct cremation" where you just get a plastic box in the mail.
Mexican Mummies and Living Traditions
The chapter on Mexico focus on the Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead), but specifically the way people interact with remains in places like Guanajuato. There’s a certain comfort with the macabre that Doughty finds refreshing. It’s not about being "goth" or edgy; it’s about acknowledging that the skull under your skin is the same one your ancestors had.
Misconceptions This Book Destroys
People think Caitlin Doughty is just a "death positive" influencer, but she’s a historian and a practitioner. She uses her expertise to dismantle some pretty annoying myths that the funeral industry loves to promote.
- Embalming is not required by law. In almost every case, it’s an optional service sold to you.
- Dead bodies are not inherently toxic. Unless there’s a specific infectious disease, a corpse is generally safer than a living person coughing on you in a grocery store.
- Cremation is not "green." It uses a massive amount of fossil fuels and releases mercury into the atmosphere. Doughty explores alternatives like "water cremation" (alkaline hydrolysis) and "human composting" (natural organic reduction).
She also touches on the financial aspect. Funerals are one of the most expensive purchases a person will ever make, often done under extreme emotional distress. From Here to Eternity by Caitlin Doughty argues that by knowing our options—like home funerals or green burials—we can reclaim both our money and our rituals.
The Nuance of "Death Positivity"
Some critics argue that Doughty’s approach is a bit too "cheery" for such a dark subject. But that's missing the point. She isn't saying death is "good." She's saying that our response to it can be better. She acknowledges the grief. She acknowledges the messiness. But she rejects the idea that death must be shameful or hidden.
There’s a section in the book about the "green burial" movement that really hits home. It’s the idea of being buried in a simple shroud or a wicker basket, allowing your body to actually nourish the earth. It turns the "ashes to ashes" cliché into a literal reality. It’s a way of being useful even after you’re gone.
Why the Book Feels Human
The sentence structure in this book mirrors Doughty's personality. She’ll give you a long, poetic description of the Spanish countryside and then hit you with a two-word sentence about how much her feet hurt. It’s grounded. She admits when she feels uncomfortable or out of her depth. When she visits the "mummy" caves or watches a ritual she doesn't quite understand, she doesn't pretend to be an all-knowing anthropologist. She’s just a mortician looking for a better way to live.
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Actionable Insights: What You Can Actually Do
Reading From Here to Eternity by Caitlin Doughty shouldn't just be an academic exercise. It’s a call to action. If you feel inspired (or even just slightly less terrified), here are the next steps to take control of your own "afterlife" plan:
1. Research Your Local Laws
You might be surprised to find that you can actually keep a body at home for a funeral in many states. Look up the funeral laws in your specific region. Knowledge is the best defense against being upsold on services you don't want.
2. Talk to Your Family Now
Don't wait until someone is in the hospital. Have the "death talk" over pizza. Ask: Do you want to be burned? Buried? Turned into compost? Do you want a party or a somber service? Write it down. Doughty emphasizes that the greatest gift you can give your survivors is a clear plan so they don't have to guess while they're grieving.
3. Explore Green Burial Options
If the idea of a concrete vault sounds depressing, look for "natural burial grounds" near you. These are cemeteries that don't allow embalming or metal caskets. They look like parks or forests rather than mowed lawns with headstones.
4. Follow the Order of the Good Death
This is the organization Doughty founded. They provide resources on everything from "death doulas" to how to talk to kids about dying. It’s a great jumping-off point for anyone who wants to dive deeper into the lifestyle changes Doughty advocates for.
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5. Re-evaluate Your Budget
A traditional funeral can easily top $10,000. By choosing direct cremation or a home-based ritual, you can save thousands. Doughty’s book proves that a "meaningful" goodbye has nothing to do with how much you spend on a velvet-lined casket.
The reality is that we are all going to end up as "remains" eventually. From Here to Eternity by Caitlin Doughty reminds us that we have a choice in how that happens. We can go quietly into a sterile room, or we can embrace the messy, beautiful, and deeply human traditions that have existed for thousands of years. Death is the one thing we all have in common. We might as well get good at it.