If you’ve watched Hoda Kotb on your television for the last two decades, you probably felt like you knew her. You saw her laugh with Kathie Lee, cry over heartwarming stories, and finally—after years of waiting—become a mom. For eight years, Joel Schiffman was the man standing right beside her through that transformation.
Then came January 2022.
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Hoda sat on the Today set, looked into the camera, and told millions of people that her engagement was over. It wasn’t a scandal. There were no cheating rumors or dramatic "sources say" headlines. But for fans who had rooted for their "happily ever after," it felt like a gut punch. Honestly, it made a lot of people wonder: how do two people who seem so perfect together just... stop?
The Wall Street Meet-Cute
Their story didn't start in a TV studio. It started in the rain.
Back in 2013, Hoda was asked to speak at an event for a group of "Wall Street guys." She didn't want to go. It was pouring. She was tired. But she showed up, gave her talk, and started signing books. Joel Schiffman, a high-level financier, walked up and asked her to sign a book for him, not a wife or a girlfriend.
That was the spark.
For years, they were the "it" couple for people who believed in second chances. Hoda was in her late 40s when they met; Joel was a bit older. They proved you didn't have to be 22 to find your person. By 2017, they were adopting their first daughter, Haley Joy. By 2019, they added Hope Catherine to the mix. Joel was the one who nudged Hoda toward motherhood when she was afraid she’d aged out of the opportunity. He basically gave her the green light to pursue her deepest dream.
Why Hoda Kotb and Joel Schiffman Called It Quits
So, what went wrong? In her 2025 book, Jump and Find Joy, Hoda got incredibly raw about the breakup. She used a word that surprised a lot of people: "phony."
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She admitted that while she was attending a retreat at the Hoffman Institute, she realized she was being a "pretender" in her relationship. It’s a heavy thing to say. Basically, she felt the relationship was good, but it wasn’t deepening. It had hit a plateau.
The "Different Paces" Problem
Relationships aren't static. People change, and sometimes they change in opposite directions. Hoda explained that they were "growing at different paces."
- Career shifts: Hoda was becoming more than a news anchor; she was becoming a wellness advocate.
- The "Optimist" Trap: Hoda admits she’s an optimist who tries to force a circle into a square because she wants things to work.
- The Epiphany: During that retreat, she realized that "two great human beings together isn't quite enough to make it work."
It wasn't that they stopped loving each other. It was that the type of love had changed. They were becoming better friends than romantic partners.
Where Are They Now? (2026 Update)
It’s been four years since the split, and honestly, they might be the "gold standard" for celebrity co-parenting. You won't find them sniping at each other in the press.
In late 2025 and early 2026, Hoda has been vocal about how much Joel is still in her life. They still do Father’s Day together. He’s at the house for barbecues. When Hoda made the massive decision to leave the Today show in January 2025, Joel was a part of the support system that helped her transition into her "suburban mom" era.
Joel’s New Chapter
Joel hasn't just been sitting around, either. While he's always been a private guy, his professional life has stayed busy. In August 2025, he was appointed as the Executive Vice President and Director of MMI Thrive at the Money Management Institute. He’s still the "Wall Street guy" Hoda met in the rain, just with a much busier weekend schedule involving soccer games and school runs.
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Hoda’s "Joy 101" Era
Hoda is currently busy launching her new talk show, Joy Rides, through her wellness company. If you watch the trailers, you’ll see her former co-anchor Savannah Guthrie asking her the question everyone wants to know: "Who are you dating?"
Hoda’s answer? She’s looking for a "soul connection." She isn't in a rush. She’s "repotting" her life—a term she uses to describe moving her family to the suburbs and focusing on what actually makes her happy.
The Realities of Co-Parenting Haley and Hope
The kids are the priority. Period. Haley is now 9 and Hope is 6. They’ve dealt with some heavy stuff, including Hope’s health scare in 2023 that landed her in the ICU.
Hoda and Joel handle the schedule with a "Saturday/Sunday" switch. One has the girls for the big fun Saturday outings, and the other takes the quiet Sunday moments. It’s a healthy mix. Hoda has even kept a family photo of the four of them in her apartment. She wants her daughters to know that while the "engaged" part ended, the "family" part is permanent.
Lessons from the Hoda and Joel Split
What can we actually learn from this?
First, it’s okay to outgrow a good thing. We’re often told to fight for relationships until the bitter end, but Hoda shows that sometimes the "brave" thing is admitting that a relationship has reached its natural conclusion.
Second, co-parenting isn't a war. If you have mutual respect, you can still share a burger at a backyard barbecue without it being weird.
If you're currently navigating a "growing apart" phase in your own life, take a page from Hoda's book. Audit your "buckets"—is your relationship filling you up, or are you just being an optimist who's afraid to speak the truth? Sometimes, the best way to love someone is to let the relationship evolve into what it's actually meant to be: a lifelong friendship.
Next Steps for Personal Growth:
- Perform a "Relationship Audit": Ask yourself if you are "pretending" to be happy to keep the peace.
- Prioritize Radical Honesty: Like Hoda’s "10-second decision" at her retreat, saying the hard thing out loud can be the start of your next chapter.
- Model Healthy Transitions: If you have kids, focus on the "family is forever" narrative rather than the "we failed" narrative.