If you ask a dictionary, the answer is seven letters. S-U-C-C-E-S-S. Easy. But if you ask a single father working two jobs to put his kid through college, or a Silicon Valley founder who just sold her company for $50 million but hasn't slept in a week, the spelling starts to get messy. Honestly, it’s probably the most subjective word in the English language.
People obsess over it. We track it on LinkedIn. We curate it on Instagram. Yet, when you actually sit down to define how do you spell success, most of us realize we've been reading someone else’s script.
The Moving Goalposts of Achievement
Success isn't a static destination. It’s more like a horizon—the more you walk toward it, the further it recedes. In psychology, there’s this concept called the "hedonic treadmill." It basically means that as you gain more status or wealth, your expectations and desires rise in tandem. You don't feel "more" successful; you just feel normal, and then you start looking for the next hit.
I remember reading about a study by Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse who spent years with patients in their final weeks. She wrote a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. You know what wasn't on that list? "I wish I’d hit my Q3 KPIs" or "I wish I’d bought that Porsche." People regretted not having the courage to live a life true to themselves. They regretted working too hard.
That’s a heavy reality check. It suggests that our societal spelling of success—usually involving commas in a bank account—is fundamentally flawed.
The Maya Angelou Perspective
Maya Angelou had a way of cutting through the nonsense. She famously said, "Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it."
That is incredibly hard to achieve. It’s easy to do something you like if you don't care about the "how." It’s also easy to do something you’re good at even if you hate yourself while doing it. But all three? That’s the trifecta.
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Beyond the Six-Figure Salary
We need to talk about the "Wealth vs. Riches" distinction.
Riches is having money. Wealth is having time.
If you make $300,000 a year but you’re tethered to a desk for 80 hours a week and you haven't seen a sunset in six months, are you successful? Some would say yes. They’d point to the house and the car. But if you’re asking how do you spell success in terms of human flourishing, that person is basically a well-paid prisoner.
The Metric of Autonomy
True success is often just the ability to say "no."
- No to the meeting you don't want to attend.
- No to the client who drains your energy.
- No to the social obligation that feels like a chore.
The economist Nassim Taleb talks about "f-you money." It’s not about buying yachts. It’s about the level of financial independence where you don't have to do things that violate your personal integrity. For some, that’s $50,000 in the bank. For others, it’s millions. But the goal is the same: agency.
Why Social Media Ruins Your Definition
Comparison is the thief of joy. We’ve heard it a thousand times. But in 2026, it’s more like comparison is the thief of your actual identity.
When you scroll through your feed, you’re seeing the "highlight reel." You see the award, the vacation, the fit body. You don't see the 3:00 AM anxiety attacks or the crumbling relationships behind the scenes.
If you base your spelling of success on someone else's curated reality, you're chasing a ghost. You end up winning a game you didn't even want to play.
The "Enough" Point
Most people don't have an "enough" point. They just have a "more" point.
Kurt Vonnegut once told a story about being at a party hosted by a billionaire. He told his friend Joseph Heller (the author of Catch-22) that the billionaire made more money in a single day than Heller had made from his book in its entire history.
Heller replied, "Yes, but I have something he will never have. I have 'enough.'"
That’s a powerful way to spell success. E-N-O-U-G-H.
Cultural Nuances: It’s Not All About the Individual
In Western cultures, especially in the US, we spell success with an "I." It’s about personal grit, the self-made man, the solo trek to the top.
But look at other parts of the world. In many indigenous cultures or Eastern societies, success is spelled with a "We." It’s about the health of the community. It’s about how well you fulfill your obligations to your elders and your children.
If the community is thriving, you are successful. If you are rich but your neighbor is starving, you have failed. This collective definition offers a much more stable foundation for mental health than our hyper-individualistic race to the top of a lonely mountain.
The Physical Toll of the Wrong Definition
We have to look at the health data. Stress is a killer.
The American Psychological Association has repeatedly linked high-pressure work environments to chronic illnesses. If your version of success involves burning the candle at both ends, you might find that by the time you "arrive," you’re too sick to enjoy the view.
I’ve seen it happen. People sacrifice their sleep, their nutrition, and their movement for decades. Then they spend all the money they made trying to buy back their health. It’s a tragic, circular trade.
Success as Vitality
What if we spelled success as H-E-A-L-T-H?
- Being able to walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded at 70.
- Having the mental clarity to read a deep book.
- Waking up without a sense of impending dread.
These aren't "extra" things. They are the baseline. If you don't have them, everything else is just window dressing on a crumbling house.
Redefining the "Hustle"
The "hustle culture" of the 2010s has mostly been exposed as a scam. Working 100 hours a week isn't a badge of honor; it’s often a sign of poor prioritization or a lack of leverage.
Productivity isn't about doing more things. It’s about doing the right things.
The most successful people I know aren't the busiest. They are the ones who have created systems that allow them to be effective while also being present for their families. They value deep work over shallow busywork.
The Actionable Pivot: How to Write Your Own Dictionary
You can’t just stop caring about success. We are wired to strive. But you can change the metrics you track.
Step 1: Conduct a Values Audit
Stop looking at your bank account for a second. Take a piece of paper. Write down the three times in the last year you felt most alive.
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Was it during a promotion? Or was it during a quiet dinner with a friend where you laughed until your stomach hurt? Was it finishing a project, or was it the two hours you spent painting without checking your phone?
Those moments are your North Star. If your current path isn't leading to more of those moments, you’re spelling success wrong for your life.
Step 2: Set "Anti-Goals"
Most people set goals for what they want. Successful people also set "anti-goals"—what they want to avoid.
- I want to be a director, but I don't want to work weekends.
- I want to earn more, but I don't want to manage a large team.
- I want to be fit, but I don't want to spend 2 hours a day in a gym.
This helps you stay within the boundaries of a life you actually enjoy living.
Step 3: Audit Your Circle
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. If everyone around you is obsessed with status symbols, you will be too. It’s tribal.
Find people who spell success differently. Find the guy who turned down a promotion to coach his daughter's soccer team. Find the woman who lives in a tiny house so she can travel six months a year. They will give you "permission" to redefine your own terms.
Step 4: The Reverse Retirement Test
Ask yourself: If I were 80 years old looking back, would I be proud of this decision?
This is the ultimate clarity tool. At 80, you won't care about the LinkedIn engagement on your last post. You’ll care about the quality of your character and the depth of your relationships.
The Reality of Failure
You can’t talk about success without talking about the "F" word.
Failure isn't the opposite of success; it’s a component of it. The only way to never fail is to never try anything interesting.
The trick is "failing small" and "failing fast." In the tech world, they call it iteration. In real life, it’s called learning. If you’re not failing occasionally, your definition of success is probably too safe. You’re playing on the "Easy" setting, and there are no trophies for that.
A Final Thought on the Spelling
At the end of the day, how do you spell success is a question only you can answer.
It’s not a standardized test. There is no answer key in the back of the book.
If you feel like you’re constantly falling short, maybe it’s not because you aren't doing enough. Maybe it’s because you’re measuring yourself against a yardstick that doesn't belong to you.
Throw the yardstick away. Build your own.
Next Steps for Your Personal Definition:
- Define your "Floor": What is the minimum amount of money and health you need to feel secure? Once you hit that, every extra bit should be weighed against the cost of your time.
- Track "Joy Hours": For one week, keep a log of every hour you spent doing something that actually made you feel fulfilled. Try to increase that number by just 10% next month.
- Purge your Feed: Unfollow every account that makes you feel "less than" or triggers a need for unnecessary consumption.
- Write your Eulogy: It sounds morbid, but it’s the best way to find your values. What do you want people to say about you when you're gone? Work backward from there.