You’re probably here because you want to tell someone how you feel, but you’re terrified of sounding like a robot—or worse, saying something that makes sense in a textbook but sounds totally weird in a Tokyo coffee shop. Japanese is a high-context language. That’s a fancy way of saying that what you don’t say is often more important than what you do. If you look up how to spell I love you in Japanese, Google will likely spit out "Aishiteru."
Stop right there.
Don't use it. At least, not yet.
Japanese culture views love through a lens of subtlety and restraint. While English speakers throw "love" around for everything from a partner to a slice of pepperoni pizza, Japanese reserves specific words for specific depths of emotion. If you use the "wrong" version of love, you might accidentally propose marriage or sound like you're reading lines from a tragic 1950s drama. It's tricky. But once you get the hang of the nuances, it's actually quite beautiful.
The Big One: Aishiteru (愛してる)
Let’s talk about Aishiteru. This is the direct translation. It’s written with the kanji 愛 (ai), which means love. In romaji—the way we spell Japanese words using the Latin alphabet—it’s Aishiteru.
✨ Don't miss: Why Videos of Cheating Wives Are All Over Your Feed and What’s Actually Happening
But here is the thing: Japanese people almost never say this.
I’ve talked to couples who have been married for forty years and have said it maybe twice. It’s heavy. It’s "I am ready to die for you" kind of love. It’s "this is the climax of a movie" love. Honestly, if you say this on a third date, you’re going to scare them away. It carries a weight that the English "I love you" simply doesn't have. In the West, we say it before hanging up the phone. In Japan, you say it when you’re about to be separated by a war or on your deathbed.
If you must spell it out in Hiragana, the phonetic Japanese script, it looks like this: あいしてる. If you want to be formal (though why you’d be formal while confessing eternal soul-binding love is beyond me), it’s Aishiteimasu (あいしています).
Why spelling matters for tattoos and cards
If you are looking for how to spell I love you in Japanese because you want a tattoo, please, for the love of everything, use the Kanji: 愛. It’s elegant. It’s classic. Just remember that the stroke order matters if you're drawing it yourself. One misplaced line and you’re suddenly walking around with the symbol for "rice" or "disaster" on your bicep.
What You Should Actually Say: Suki (好き)
If you’re dating someone or just starting to catch feelings, the word you want is Suki.
It’s spelled S-U-K-I. In Japanese script, it’s 好き.
It literally means "to like." I know, it sounds weak to an English speaker. You want to say "I love you," and I’m telling you to say "I like you." But in the Japanese context, Suki is the heavy lifter. It covers everything from "I like this tea" to "I am deeply in love with you." Context does the work.
If you want to kick it up a notch, you say Daisuki (大好き). The "Dai" means big. So, "Big Like." This is the gold standard for romantic confessions (known as kokuhaku). If you're standing under the cherry blossoms and you want to tell someone they're the one, you say:
"Suki desu."
That’s it. Simple. Direct. Powerful.
The Grammar of Love
Japanese grammar is a bit of a nightmare for English speakers because the subject is often dropped. You don't need to say "I" (Watashi) or "You" (Anata). In fact, using the word Anata (you) can actually come across as a bit aggressive or overly formal depending on the situation.
So, instead of saying Watashi wa anata o aishiteru, which is what a translation app will give you, you just say Suki. Or Daisuki. The "I" and "You" are implied by the fact that you are looking at them and probably blushing.
Spelling variations you'll see online
- Suki da yo (好きだよ): This is masculine and casual. It’s "I love you" with a bit of confidence.
- Suki desu (好きです): Polite and sincere. Use this for a first confession.
- Suki yanen (好きやねん): This is Osaka dialect (Kansai-ben). It’s famous across Japan and sounds a bit more playful and gritty.
The Cultural "Silent" Love
There is a famous story in Japan about the novelist Natsume Soseki. Legend has it he was a teacher and heard a student translate "I love you" literally into Japanese. Soseki told the student that a Japanese man wouldn't say that. He said the man would instead say, "The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" (Tsuki ga kirei desu ne).
Whether the story is 100% true is debated by scholars, but the sentiment is deeply ingrained in the culture. Sometimes, knowing how to spell I love you in Japanese isn't about the letters at all. It’s about the atmosphere. It’s about Kuuki wo yomu—reading the air.
Japanese communication relies on Ishin-denshin, or "heart-to-heart communication." It’s the idea that if you truly love someone, they should know it through your actions—the way you bring them an umbrella, the way you save them the last piece of sushi, the way you're just there. To many Japanese people, constantly verbalizing love makes the feeling feel cheap or fake.
✨ Don't miss: Why Pioneer Woman Make Ahead Twice Baked Potatoes Are Still the King of Freezer Meals
Regional Slang and Modern Twists
Younger generations in Tokyo or Osaka are a bit more expressive, thanks to Western influence and social media. You might hear people use the word "Luv" written in Katakana as Rabu (ラブ).
This is mostly used for objects or hobbies. "I rabu this band." You wouldn't usually use it for a serious romantic partner unless you're being "kawaii" or silly.
Then there is Koi (恋).
While Ai is deep, selfless love, Koi is more about the "crush" phase. It’s longing. It’s the romantic ache you feel when you aren't with someone. You’ll see this Kanji in the word Koibito (恋人), which means "lover" or "boyfriend/girlfriend." If you’re writing a poem, use Koi. If you’re writing a marriage proposal, stick to the concepts behind Ai.
Practical Tips for Your Message
If you are writing a card or a message to a Japanese person, here is how you should structure it to avoid being "too much" too soon.
Start with something specific you appreciate. "I love your smile" or "I love your kindness."
- Kindness: Yasashisa (優しさ)
- Smile: Egao (笑顔)
Combine it with Suki. For example: [Name]-san no egao ga daisuki desu (I love [Name]'s smile). This is much more natural and touching than a heavy, existential Aishiteru.
✨ Don't miss: Finding the Right Small Bottle for School: Why Most Parents Overthink It
Quick Spelling Cheat Sheet
- I love you (Deep/Rare): 愛してる (Aishiteru)
- I love you (Standard/Common): 大好き (Daisuki)
- I like you (Casual/Sweet): 好き (Suki)
- Love (The concept of selfless love): 愛 (Ai)
- Love (Romantic/Passion): 恋 (Koi)
The Truth About "Anata"
A quick warning: Translation sites love the word Anata for "you." In Japanese, you almost always refer to the person by their name + the suffix -san. Using Anata can sound like you’re talking down to someone or, strangely, like a wife from an old TV show calling her husband "dear." If you're writing a love letter, use their name. It shows intimacy. It shows you know who they are.
Actionable Steps for Your Confession
If you're ready to take the plunge and use what you've learned about how to spell I love you in Japanese, keep these three points in mind:
- Pick your moment. In Japan, confessions (kokuhaku) are a formal event. You don't just "drift" into a relationship. You usually state your feelings clearly to make it "official."
- Stick to "Daisuki" for the first year. Seriously. Unless you are at the altar, Daisuki provides plenty of emotional weight without the unintended "Final Boss" vibes of Aishiteru.
- Focus on the Kanji. If you're writing it down, the Kanji 愛 (Ai) or 好き (Suki) is much more visually striking and meaningful than the phonetic Hiragana or Romaji.
The best way to learn is to listen to how native speakers use these terms in modern media—not just anime, which tends to be overly dramatic, but slice-of-life dramas or podcasts. You'll notice that the words are used sparingly. When they are used, they mean everything.
Start by practicing the character for Suki (好). It’s made of two parts: "woman" and "child." The traditional explanation is that the bond between a mother and child is the purest form of "liking" or "loving" something. It’s a good reminder that Japanese words for love are built on a foundation of connection and care, not just fleeting passion.
If you're writing this in a text, just type "Suki" and let your keyboard suggest the Kanji. It's the most authentic way to bridge the gap between your heart and theirs.