You’re sitting in traffic or maybe staring at a grocery store shelf full of cereal boxes, and suddenly it hits you. Everything feels off. The colors look too bright, or maybe too dull. The people around you move like background actors in a movie you didn't audition for. You find yourself asking, is this real life, or am I just watching a very high-definition simulation?
It's a weird feeling. Honestly, it’s terrifying the first time it happens.
Most people associate that specific phrase—is this real life—with David After Dentist, that viral video from 2009 where a kid is hallucinating after a procedure. We laugh at it because he’s looping on anesthesia. But for millions of adults, this question isn't a punchline. It’s a symptom of something clinical called depersonalization-derealization disorder (DPDR). It’s one of the most common yet least-talked-about psychological experiences in the world.
The Biology of the "Fake" World
When your brain starts glitching on reality, it isn't usually a sign that you're "going crazy." It's actually a defense mechanism. Think of it like a circuit breaker. When the electrical load (stress) becomes too high, the breaker flips to protect the house from burning down.
In your brain, the "house" is your psyche.
Research from institutions like King’s College London has shown that during episodes of derealization, the brain’s autonomic nervous system goes into a state of "low arousal" while the emotional centers, like the amygdala, get dampened. You're effectively numbed. This is why when people ask is this real life, they often report feeling like they are behind a pane of glass. You can see the world, but you can't feel it.
The vestibular system—that's the stuff in your inner ear that handles balance—also plays a massive role. If your inner ear is slightly inflamed or out of whack, your brain struggles to map your body in space. That disconnect creates a "floaty" sensation. You feel like a ghost inhabiting a meat suit.
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Dissociation is a Spectrum
Not everyone who feels "unreal" has a chronic disorder. We all dissociate.
Have you ever driven ten miles on the highway and realized you don't remember a single second of the drive? That’s highway hypnosis. It’s a mild form of dissociation. Your brain goes on autopilot to save energy.
Then there’s the trauma response.
Psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, explains that the brain can literally shut down the perception of reality during high-stress events. If a situation is too painful to endure, the brain simply "leaves." The problem is when the brain gets stuck in that "off" position long after the danger has passed. You end up stuck in a loop, constantly checking your pulse or staring at your hands to see if they’re solid.
Why the Internet Makes It Worse
Living online has fundamentally changed how we process reality. We spend eight hours a day staring at pixels—essentially 2D representations of 3D things.
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When you finally look up from your phone, your eyes have to re-adjust to actual depth and light. This transition can trigger a momentary sense of "Is this real life?" because your brain is still trying to process the world through the lens of a screen. We are the first generation of humans to spend more time in a digital simulation than in the physical world. It’s no wonder our hardware is struggling to keep up.
Social Media and the "Simulation" Meme
We’ve turned the existential crisis into a joke. The "Main Character Energy" trend or the "Glitch in the Matrix" subreddits are basically digital support groups for people feeling disconnected.
But there’s a dark side to the meme-ification of reality.
When we joke about living in a simulation, it can actually exacerbate symptoms for people with OCD or anxiety. It provides a "logical" framework for a feeling that is actually biological. If you feel like the world is fake, and the internet tells you "Yeah, it's a simulation," your brain latches onto that. It stops looking for the biological cause (like sleep deprivation or burnout) and starts obsessing over the philosophical one.
How to Get Your "Reality" Back
If you’re stuck in a loop of wondering is this real life, the goal isn't to think your way out of it. You can't. Thinking is what got you here. You have to feel your way back into your body.
Therapists often suggest "grounding" techniques, but some are better than others.
- Temperature Shock: Splash ice-cold water on your face. This triggers the mammalian dive reflex, which forces your heart rate to slow down and snaps your nervous system back into the present. It’s a physiological reset button.
- The 5-4-3-2-1 Method: It sounds cheesy, but it works because it forces the prefrontal cortex to engage with sensory input. Find five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.
- Heavy Work: Push against a wall with all your might. Carry something heavy. This engages your proprioception—your sense of where your body is in space. It tells your brain, "Hey, I'm here, I'm solid, and I'm interacting with a physical object."
- Cut the Caffeine: Seriously. High doses of caffeine mimic the physical symptoms of a panic attack, which can trigger a derealization episode. If you're already feeling "floaty," 300mg of espresso is like throwing gasoline on a fire.
The Role of Sleep and Vision
We often overlook the simple stuff.
Binocular Vision Dysfunction (BVD) is a condition where your eyes are slightly misaligned. It’s not enough to cause double vision, but it’s enough that your brain has to work overtime to stitch the images together. One of the primary symptoms of BVD? A sense of "unreality" or dizziness in crowded places like malls.
If you feel like the world is a movie, it might just be that your eyes are tired.
And sleep? Sleep deprivation is a hallucinogen. If you aren't hitting REM cycles, your brain starts trying to process "dream" functions while you're still awake. This creates a thin veil between reality and the subconscious. You’re essentially dreaming while walking around, which is the literal definition of is this real life.
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What to Do Next
First, stop Googling your symptoms. Every time you search for "why do I feel fake," you are reinforcing to your brain that there is a threat. Your brain responds by dissociating further to "protect" you from the anxiety of the search results.
If this feeling persists, see a doctor to rule out the physical stuff. Check your iron levels. Check your B12. Get an eye exam.
Most importantly, recognize that the feeling of unreality is just a feeling. It’s a sensory mismatch, not a metaphysical truth. You are here. You are sitting on a chair or holding a phone. Your feet are on the floor.
The world hasn't changed; your perception has just shifted its focus.
Move your body. Eat something with a strong flavor, like a lemon or a spicy pepper. Stop trying to solve the mystery of the universe and just try to be in the room you’re in. The "realness" usually returns once you stop checking to see if it's there.
Actionable Steps for Immediate Grounding:
- Audit your screen time: If you spend more than 4 hours on TikTok or Instagram, your brain is being trained to accept 2D reality as the default. Cap it at 2 hours for three days and see if the "fog" lifts.
- Check your neck tension: The suboccipital muscles at the base of your skull can restrict blood flow and affect the vestibular system when they're tight from "tech neck." Stretch them out.
- Weighted blankets: Use a 15-pound weighted blanket at night. The deep pressure stimulation reduces cortisol and helps re-establish the boundary between your body and the bed.
- Mindfulness without the "woo-woo": Instead of meditating to "escape," meditate to "enter." Focus on the weight of your clothes on your shoulders. The sensation of air moving through your nose. Be an observer of the physical, not the mental.