James Hewitt and Princess Diana: What Really Happened

It’s the rumor that just won’t die. Honestly, if you’ve spent more than five minutes scrolling through royal history or watching The Crown, you’ve seen the side-by-side photos. The red hair. The shared smirk. The persistent, nagging theory that James Hewitt, the former cavalry officer, is actually Prince Harry’s father.

But history is messy.

The truth about James Hewitt and Princess Diana is a lot more complicated than a tabloid conspiracy. It’s a story of a lonely princess, a soldier who was eventually branded a "cad," and a five-year affair that Diana herself admitted to on national television.

How it actually started

They didn't meet in some dark corner. They met at a party. It was 1986, and Diana’s lady-in-waiting, Hazel West, threw a bash where the Princess of Wales first crossed paths with the charming military man.

Diana had a lifelong fear of horses. Hewitt was a riding instructor.

Basically, he offered to help her overcome that fear. It sounds like the plot of a romance novel, right? Within months, those private riding lessons turned into something else entirely. According to Diana’s royal protection officer, Ken Wharfe, their first conversation was "completely natural," and that’s what hooked her. She was tired of the coldness of the Palace. She wanted someone who talked to her like a person.

The Kensington Palace years

For five years, between 1986 and 1991, Hewitt was a fixture in Diana's life.

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It wasn't always easy. He used to be bundled into car trunks (or "boots," if we’re being British about it) and driven into Kensington Palace to avoid the prying eyes of the press. He later told author Anna Pasternak that he was "terrified" the first night he stayed over, though he was relieved to find that Charles and Diana already had separate bedrooms.

They were deeply in love. Diana even wrote him dozens of letters while he was serving as a tank commander in the Gulf War.

"I adored him," she told Martin Bashir during that infamous 1995 Panorama interview. "Yes, I was in love with him. But I was very let down."

The "Harry's Father" Myth

Let’s look at the dates. Seriously. This is the part people always get wrong.

• Prince Harry was born: September 15, 1984.
• Diana and James Hewitt met: 1986.

You don't need to be a math genius to see the problem there. Harry was already a toddler by the time Diana and Hewitt even shook hands. Even Hewitt himself has been blunt about it. In a 2017 interview, he was asked point-blank if he was Harry's dad.

"No, I’m not," he said. He pointed out that the rumor persists mostly because it "sells papers."

Prince Harry even addressed this in his memoir, Spare. He talked about how King Charles used to make "sadistic" jokes about the rumor, laughingly questioning his own paternity. Harry noted that the tabloid obsession with his red hair was just a way for people to feel better about their own lives by making a young prince’s life "laughable."

The red hair? That comes from the Spencer side. Just look at Diana's brother, Earl Spencer. The ginger gene is strong in that family.

The betrayal and the "Cad" label

The relationship fizzled out around 1991. Hewitt was posted to Germany, and Diana felt he had chosen his career over her. She reportedly tried everything to stop him from going, even threatening to speak to his commanding officer.

But the real fallout happened later.

In 1994, Hewitt cooperated with Anna Pasternak for the book Princess in Love. It was a tell-all. Diana felt totally betrayed. Then, in 2003, he tried to sell 64 of her private letters for a cool £10 million.

The public turned on him. Sarah, Duchess of York, called it the "most horrible, disloyal thing" anyone could do. Hewitt went from being a war hero to "Britain's biggest cad" overnight. He eventually admitted to Inside Edition that the backlash was so severe he contemplated taking his own life. He said his mother was the only reason he didn't go through with it.

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Where is James Hewitt now?

In 2026, Hewitt lives a much quieter life.

He’s 67 now. He survived a heart attack and a stroke back in 2017 and has mostly stayed out of the spotlight. For a while, he was reportedly working as a gardener and living with his mother in Devon. More recently, he’s been involved in humanitarian work, specifically with an organization called Operation Safedrop, which delivers aid to Ukraine.

It’s a far cry from the polo matches and palace intrigue of the 80s.

Honestly, the story of James Hewitt and Princess Diana is a cautionary tale about the cost of royal secrets. It wasn't just a tabloid scandal; it was a real relationship that left both people pretty scarred.

What we can learn from the history

If you're digging into this topic, it's worth looking past the "paternity" clickbait. The real story is about the breakdown of the royal marriage and the extreme lengths people went to for a bit of affection.

• Check the timeline: Whenever you see a "Harry's dad" post, remember 1984 vs. 1986.
• Context matters: Diana wasn't just "cheating"; she was in a marriage that had already fundamentally collapsed.
• The letters: Hewitt still has those letters, though they've never been fully published. They remain some of the most sought-after historical documents in modern British history.

If you want to understand the modern royal family, you have to understand this era. It’s where the "firm" began to crack, and the ripples are still being felt by William and Harry today.

Next Steps for You: To get a better sense of Diana's state of mind during this period, you should read the transcript of her 1995 Panorama interview. It’s the only time she spoke about Hewitt in her own words. You can also look up the Spencer family tree to see where that famous red hair actually originated.