If you spent any part of the last decade scrolling through The Vampire Diaries fandom tags, you’ve seen the "Bamon" edits. The chemistry between Bonnie Bennett and Damon Salvatore was, frankly, electric—sometimes more so than the actual canon romances. But behind the camera, the story of Kat Graham and Ian Somerhalder is way more interesting than a script.
It wasn't always hugs and acting workshops.
Honestly, they hated each other at first. That’s not a tabloid exaggeration; Kat has said it herself multiple times. When the show started back in 2009, they were at totally different stages of life. Ian was the seasoned pro in his early 30s, coming off the massive success of Lost. Kat was only 20, a "kid" by her own description, trying to find her footing in a high-pressure industry.
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The Rough Start (And Why They Clashed)
They were basically oil and water during Season 1.
"Ian and I used to not like each other at all. We hated each other first season. We wanted to kill each other," Kat told AOL years ago. It’s kinda wild to think about now, considering they became inseparable later on.
Why the friction? It mostly came down to two very strong personalities colliding. You had two people who were incredibly passionate, perhaps a bit stubborn, and both deeply committed to their craft. When you’re filming 14-hour days in the Georgia heat, those "strong personalities" can lead to some serious ego bruising.
Kat has often attributed their early beef to her own immaturity at the time. She was still figuring out who she was, while Ian was already established. It took a few years for that friction to turn into a mutual respect that eventually became the bedrock of their friendship.
How They Became Best Friends
By the time Season 6 rolled around—you know, the "Prison World" era—everything had changed.
The shift happened because they realized they actually worked the same way. Both actors shared the same acting coach, Ivana Chubbuck. This is a huge detail people miss. Having the same "language" for breaking down a script changed their dynamic. They started spending their off-hours together, working through scenes and pushing each other to find the "weird, twisted places" their characters needed to go.
Ian has been one of Kat’s loudest cheerleaders. During a time when fans (and sometimes the production itself) seemed to sideline Bonnie Bennett, Ian was often the one in the writers' room or in interviews demanding more for her.
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"Kat Graham is a very powerful actor. She really dives into the work... her and I actually work with each other. We both work with [Ivana] and break stuff down." — Ian Somerhalder
There’s even been long-standing talk in the fandom about Ian threatening to leave the show if Kat was ever written off. While the "threat to quit" hasn't been officially confirmed in a "legal ultimatum" sense, his vocal support for her staying on the show is well-documented. He knew the show needed Bonnie, and he knew he needed Kat as a scene partner.
The Nikki Reed Connection
If you want to know how deep a celebrity friendship goes, look at how they treat the spouse.
When Ian started dating and eventually married Twilight star Nikki Reed, things could have gotten awkward. Instead, Kat and Nikki became incredibly close. Kat has described them as a "perfect match" because they share the same hyper-focus on philanthropy, animal rights, and environmentalism.
It’s not just "work friends" behavior when you’re hanging out at each other’s houses and gushing over each other’s activism. Kat famously said she’d be friends with Ian for the next 30 years. Seeing them together at conventions in 2025 and early 2026, it’s clear that wasn’t just a PR soundbite.
Why the "Bamon" Chemistry Worked So Well
Fans were obsessed with the idea of them dating in real life, but the truth is actually cooler. Their chemistry worked because they weren't dating.
Because they had gone through the "hatred" phase and come out the other side as "siblings," there was a level of trust that allowed them to be vulnerable on screen. You can’t fake that kind of comfort. When Damon and Bonnie were stuck in that 1994 loop eating pancakes, the joy you saw was mostly just Kat and Ian genuinely enjoying each other's company after a long day of filming.
What We Can Learn From Them
The saga of Kat Graham and Ian Somerhalder basically proves that first impressions are often garbage.
If they had stuck to their Season 1 opinions of each other, we would have missed out on one of the best character duos in TV history. They taught us that professional friction can actually be a catalyst for a deeper connection if both people are willing to grow.
Next Steps for TVD Fans:
If you're looking to dive deeper into their specific acting style, look up the Ivana Chubbuck technique. It’s the "secret sauce" they both used to build those intense performances. Also, keep an eye on their respective foundations—Ian’s ISF and Kat’s work with the UNHCR—as they still occasionally collaborate on humanitarian efforts.
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Check out their recent panel appearances from the 2025 convention circuit; their "old married couple" bickering is still very much alive and well.