/john-f-kennedy-2-58b2775924d44d989a2644c6bdf32354.jpg)
If you walked into the White House during the early 1960s, you might have spotted a tall, bespectacled man wandering the halls like he owned the place. He didn’t have a security badge. He didn't have an official title. But he had a room on the third floor and a standing invitation to every family dinner.
His name was Kirk LeMoyne Lem Billings. To most of the world, he was a ghost in the background of Camelot. To John F. Kennedy, he was the only person who truly knew him.
They met at Choate, an elite prep school, back in 1933. Jack was 15, and Lem was 16. It wasn't exactly a meeting of the minds; it was a meeting of two troublemakers. They formed a club called "The Muckers" specifically to annoy their headmaster. Lem actually stayed back a year just so he could graduate with Jack in 1935. That’s the kind of devotion we're talking about.
The Secret Geometry of a Presidential Friendship
People always ask: was it more than friendship? Honestly, it’s complicated.
Historians like David Pitts, who wrote Jack and Lem, have dug through the letters. Early on, in 1934, Lem sent Jack a note written on a piece of toilet paper—a common trick in boarding schools because you could flush the evidence if a teacher caught you. It was a sexual proposition.
Jack’s response? He basically told Lem he wasn't "that kind of boy" but—and this is the part that shocks people for the 1930s—he didn't end the friendship. He kept the note. He kept Lem.
In an era where being gay was not just a social death sentence but a literal crime, the future President of the United States decided his best friend’s sexuality didn't matter. He just wanted Lem around.
Why Kirk LeMoyne Lem Billings Never Took an Official Job
When JFK won the 1960 election, he offered Lem several high-level positions. He suggested Lem lead the Peace Corps or become an ambassador to Denmark.
Lem said no. To every single offer.
He told friends he didn't want to work for the President; he wanted to be with his friend. He knew that the moment he took a government salary, their relationship would change from equals to boss and subordinate. Instead, he stayed in the private sector, working as an advertising executive in Manhattan.
You might actually know his work without realizing it. Lem was a vice president at the Emerson Drug Company and is the guy responsible for Fizzies—those fruit-flavored tablets that turned plain water into soda.
✨ Don't miss: Taylor Swift and Ryan Reynolds: Why This A-List Friendship Is Actually Complicated
Life as the "First Friend"
Even without a title, Lem was everywhere. He traveled with the Kennedys to Europe. He spent weekends at Glen Ora. Jackie Kennedy once joked to a White House usher that Lem had been a "house guest every weekend of my married life."
It wasn't always easy for Jackie. Imagine having your husband’s best friend constantly in your space. But she realized something vital: Lem was a pressure valve for Jack. He could make the President laugh when the Cuban Missile Crisis was weighing him down.
- The Room: Lem had a dedicated guest room in the White House.
- The Access: He was one of only three people (along with Jack and Jackie) who didn't need a security pass to enter the living quarters.
- The Role: He often acted as a "surrogate" for the Kennedy sisters or helped mind the children, Caroline and John Jr.
One White House aide famously said people saw him so much they thought he was part of the Secret Service. He was just a fixture, like a piece of furniture that happened to tell great jokes.
The Darker Years After Dallas
When the shots rang out in Dallas on November 22, 1963, Lem Billings’ world didn't just change—it ended. He was at lunch in New York when he heard the news.
✨ Don't miss: Kelly Rohrbach and Leonardo DiCaprio: What Really Happened
He never really recovered.
He remained close to the family, eventually becoming a sort of surrogate father to Robert F. Kennedy’s kids after RFK was assassinated in 1968. He was particularly close to RFK Jr., who described Lem as a "stable presence" even as Lem's own life began to fray.
The later years weren't kind. Lem struggled with depression and alcohol. The man who had been the life of the party at the White House became a "Kennedy widow" in his own right, mourning a life that could never be reclaimed.
What We Get Wrong About Lem
People often paint Lem as a "fawning admirer" or a "shadowy figure." But that’s a bit of a lazy take. Lem was a successful businessman in his own right. He was a Harvard Business School grad. He was an ambulance driver in North Africa during World War II because his eyesight was too bad for the Navy.
📖 Related: Who is Tia from Pit Bulls and Parolees Married to Now: What Most People Get Wrong
He wasn't a leach; he was a protector.
He died in his sleep in 1981, just one day before JFK’s birthday. His dying wish was for the younger Kennedy men to carry his casket. They did. They even carried it around the gravesite extra times because they didn't want to let him go.
Actionable Insights for History Buffs
If you want to understand the "real" JFK, you have to look at the people he kept closest when the cameras were off. Kirk LeMoyne Lem Billings is the most important lens for that.
- Read the Primary Sources: The JFK Library in Boston holds over 800 pages of Lem’s oral history. It’s the most candid look at Kennedy's private life you’ll ever find.
- Look Beyond the Politics: Lem’s story proves that the "Camelot" era was far more socially complex than the textbook version suggests.
- Visit the Memorials: If you’re ever in Pittsburgh, Lem is buried in Allegheny Cemetery. It’s a quiet spot for a man who spent his life in the loudest rooms in the world.
Understanding Lem isn't just about trivia; it’s about recognizing the human need for unconditional loyalty. In a world of political sharks, Lem was the one person Jack Kennedy knew would never bite.