"Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today."
If you didn't read that in the high-pitched, speech-impediment-heavy drone of the Impressive Clergyman, you probably haven't seen the movie enough times. Or maybe you're just one of those rare people who hasn't had The Princess Bride quoted at them since 1987. But for the rest of us, marriage the princess bride is a concept that exists in two very specific, very different spheres: the hilarious, cynical parody of a royal wedding and the actually-quite-deep exploration of what "True Love" looks like when things go horribly wrong.
People love this movie. It’s a cult classic that somehow became a mainstream pillar of pop culture. But when you look at the actual marriages—or attempted marriages—in the story, things get weird. It's not all sunshine and ROUSs. It's actually a bit of a mess, which is exactly why it resonates.
The Most Famous Non-Marriage in Cinema History
Let’s be real. The actual wedding ceremony between Buttercup and Prince Humperdinck is a total sham. It’s a legalistic nightmare. Humperdinck doesn't want a wife; he wants a political catalyst for war. Buttercup doesn't want a husband; she wants to be dead or with Westley, preferably both in that order if she can’t have the latter.
The Impressive Clergyman, played by the legendary Peter Cook, delivers a speech that has become a staple at real-life weddings. I've been to at least three weddings where the officiant started with "Mawage." It’s funny because it undercuts the self-seriousness of the institution. In the context of the film, the ceremony is a ticking clock. It’s a race against time. Westley is outside the castle gates, mostly dead, trying to figure out how to break in, while Buttercup is standing at the altar of a man she loathes.
William Goldman, who wrote both the book and the screenplay, was a master of subverting expectations. He knew that a traditional "happily ever after" wedding would be boring. So, he gave us a wedding that wasn't even legal. Remember the technicality? "You didn't say 'I do,'" Westley points out later. Humperdinck skipped the most important part because he was in a rush to go start a war. In the world of marriage the princess bride, the legalities matter less than the intent.
Miracle Max and Valerie: The Only Real Marriage?
If you want to see what a long-term marriage actually looks like in Florin, you don't look at the royals. You look at Miracle Max and his wife, Valerie.
Played by Billy Crystal and Carol Kane, these two are the absolute highlight of the film’s third act. They bicker. They scream. Valerie calls him a liar. Max tells her to go away. It’s chaotic. But there is a deep, lived-in energy there that feels more "real" than any of the flowery speeches Westley gives to Buttercup.
Max has given up. He’s bitter. He’s been fired by Humperdinck and he’s "over it." Valerie is the one pushing him. She’s the one who knows he’s still got the magic. She calls him out on his "mostly dead" bluff. This is a crucial nuance often missed: the movie suggests that "True Love" isn't just the sweaty, breathless passion of Westley and Buttercup. It's also the grumbling, supportive, long-term partnership of two old people in a hovel making chocolate-covered miracle pills.
Why Their Dynamic Works
- Mutual History: They clearly have decades of baggage, and they use it as a weapon and a shield.
- The "Liar" Factor: Valerie knows Max is lying about his abilities because she knows his insecurities better than he does.
- Shared Purpose: Despite the yelling, she helps him work. She’s his partner in the literal sense.
The Problem With Prince Humperdinck’s Version of Matrimony
Humperdinck is the ultimate "business" groom. For him, marriage the princess bride represents a PR move. He needs a beautiful bride so the people will love him, and then he needs a dead bride so he can blame the country of Guilder and start a conflict.
It’s a chillingly modern take on the "political marriage." There’s no affection. There’s barely even conversation. When he finds out Buttercup still loves the farm boy, he doesn’t feel jealous in a romantic way; he feels insulted in a status way. He’s a narcissist. His view of marriage is purely transactional.
Compare this to the 1973 novel by Goldman. The book is much darker. It delves into Humperdinck’s obsession with hunting and his total lack of human empathy. In the film, Chris Sarandon plays him with a sort of oily charm, but the underlying threat is always there. He is the antithesis of what Westley represents.
"As You Wish" and the Language of Devotion
We have to talk about the farm boy. Westley’s "As You Wish" is the ultimate marriage vow before the marriage even exists.
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It’s about service. It’s about submission to the needs and desires of the other person. While that sounds a bit "tradwife" or outdated on paper, in the context of the film, it’s portrayed as the highest form of romantic respect. He isn't saying "I'll do whatever you want because I'm weak." He's saying "I'm doing this because I love you so much that your will is mine."
But let's be honest for a second. Buttercup is kind of a passive character for a lot of the movie. Robin Wright plays her beautifully, but she spends a lot of time being kidnapped or waiting to be rescued. However, the intent of their marriage—their union—is what drives the entire plot. It’s the "True Love" that Miracle Max mentions. Max initially refuses to help because he doesn't care about Westley’s life, but when he hears it's for True Love, he changes his tune. Why? Because Max hasn't had any "true love" of his own? No, because Max is a cynic who knows that True Love is the only thing worth breaking the rules for.
The Cultural Impact: Why We Use It in Real Weddings
Why do people keep using marriage the princess bride references in their actual 21st-century weddings?
It's because the movie acknowledges that life is "pain, highness, and anyone who says otherwise is selling something." Most wedding vows are purely aspirational. They talk about "better or worse" but they don't really acknowledge the "worse" part with any sincerity. The Princess Bride does. It shows the hero dying, the bride being forced into a sham wedding, and the villain nearly winning.
When a couple uses the "Mawage" speech, they are signaling to their guests: "We know this is a bit ridiculous. We know life is going to be hard. But we're doing it anyway." It’s a defense mechanism against the over-the-top pressure of a perfect wedding day. It adds a layer of much-needed levity.
What Goldman Was Actually Trying to Say
There’s a theory—and if you read the book, it’s less of a theory and more of a theme—that the story is about the endurance of love despite the cruelty of the world.
The "S. Morgenstern" framing device (the fictional author Goldman claims to be abridging) is all about how life isn't fair. The book ends much more ambiguously than the movie. In the book, they escape, but the horses are failing, the villains are closing in, and Buttercup’s beauty is fading. It’s not a clean "happily ever after."
The movie softens this, but the core remains: marriage isn't the end of the story. It’s just a milestone in a very long, very difficult journey involving fire swamps and lightning sand.
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Key Takeaways for Fans of the Film
- Intent matters more than the ceremony. Westley and Buttercup were "married" in spirit long before the Priest started talking.
- Bickering isn't failure. Miracle Max and Valerie prove that a "happily ever after" can include a lot of shouting.
- Beware the "Humperdinck" marriage. If the union is based on status, optics, or manipulation, it’s not a marriage; it’s a contract.
Planning a Princess Bride Themed Wedding?
If you're looking to incorporate marriage the princess bride elements into your own big day, don't just stop at the "Mawage" quote. Think about the themes.
- The Vows: Focus on the "As You Wish" mentality of mutual support.
- The Atmosphere: You don't need a castle. You need a sense of adventure.
- The Reality Check: Acknowledge that life isn't a fairy tale, which is exactly why you need a partner to get through it.
Honestly, the best way to honor the film is to stay true to its spirit of "True Love" while maintaining a healthy sense of humor about the whole ordeal. Don't take the "royal" part too seriously. Focus on the "farm boy and the girl" part.
Actionable Steps for Enthusiasts
If you are genuinely interested in the deeper lore or planning an event around this classic, here is how you should actually proceed:
Read the original 1973 novel by William Goldman. Seriously. It is much more cynical, much funnier, and provides a lot more context on why the marriage between Buttercup and Humperdinck was so doomed from the start. It also explains the history of the characters in a way the movie simply didn't have time for.
Watch the "Criterion Collection" special features. There are interviews with Cary Elwes and Robin Wright where they discuss the chemistry on set. Understanding the real-life friendship between the actors helps you see why the "marriage" on screen felt so earned despite the limited screen time they actually had together.
Think about the "Mostly Dead" principle in relationships. In any long-term commitment, there are times when things feel stagnant or "dead." The lesson from Miracle Max is that usually, it’s just "mostly dead." It takes a bit of magic, a bit of chocolate coating, and a partner who refuses to give up on you to bring it back to life.
Evaluate your own "As You Wish." In your own life, what are the things you do simply because it makes your partner’s life easier? The film suggests that these small acts of service are the true foundation of a lasting union.
Marriage, as the movie shows, isn't about the crown or the "I do." It's about the "I'll come for you." It's about the "He didn't agree to the marriage, so it doesn't count." It's about outsmarting the Vizzinis of the world and surviving the Pit of Despair together.
Stop worrying about the perfect ceremony and start focusing on the person who would follow you into a Fire Swamp. That’s the real lesson of marriage the princess bride. Everything else is just "wuv, twue wuv."