It was 2014. TLC released a one-hour special that felt like a lightning rod for controversy before the first commercial break even aired. The title alone, My Husband Is Not Gay TLC, was designed to stop people mid-scroll—or mid-channel surf, back when we still did that. It followed four Mormon men in Salt Lake City who were open about their "same-sex attraction" (SSA) but remained married to women.
The show wasn't just another reality TV blip. It sparked massive petitions. People were angry. GLAAD called it "dangerous" and "harmful" because it appeared to promote the idea that sexual orientation is something you can just decide to work around for the sake of faith or tradition. But if you actually sit down and watch the footage now, years later, the reality is way more messy than a simple protest slogan. It’s a snapshot of a specific subculture trying to navigate the impossible intersection of religious dogma and human nature.
The Men Behind the Headlines
The special focused on Jeff Bennion, Pretton Montgomery, and brothers Curtis and Brantley. They weren't hiding in the closet in the traditional sense. They were out. They told their wives before they got married. They told their families. They even told the cameras.
Jeff Bennion, who was essentially the "voice" of the group, spent a lot of time explaining the distinction they made. In their world, being "gay" was an identity they rejected, while "same-sex attraction" was a trial they chose to endure. Jeff had been married to his wife, Tanya, for over a decade at the time of filming.
Honestly, watching them interact is a trip. You see the tension. You see the genuine affection, too. It’s easy to dismiss these marriages as "fake," but if you look at the way Tanya and Jeff communicated, there was clearly a deep, emotional bond there. Was it a romantic, sexual spark in the way most people define it? That’s where things get murky. Jeff famously compared his attraction to men to a "longing" that he just didn't act on, much like a person on a diet looks at a donut.
That analogy? Yeah, it didn't age well.
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Why the Backlash Was So Intense
TLC is no stranger to "freak show" TV. They’ve given us everything from Toddlers & Tiaras to My 600-lb Life. But My Husband Is Not Gay TLC hit a different nerve because it touched on conversion therapy adjacent themes. Even though the men in the show explicitly stated they weren't trying to "change" their orientation through therapy, the mere existence of the show felt like a validation of "Mixed-Orientation Marriages" (MOMs) as a viable "cure" for being gay.
More than 400,000 people signed a Change.org petition asking TLC to cancel the special. They argued that by giving these men a platform, the network was suggesting that gay people could—and should—just marry someone of the opposite sex to satisfy religious requirements.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) has a complicated history with this. For years, the unofficial advice from local leaders was often: "Get married to a woman, and the feelings will go away." By 2014, the church had mostly backed away from that specific advice, acknowledging that marriage isn't a "cure" for SSA. Yet, here were these men, seemingly living out the old-school manual.
The Reality of Mixed-Orientation Marriages
What the show didn't spend enough time on was the long-term success rate of these unions. Statistically, they are incredibly difficult to maintain.
Think about the mental energy required. You’re constantly policing your own thoughts. You’re living in a state of perpetual "resistance."
- The Psychological Toll: Experts like Dr. Annie Spira, who has studied mixed-orientation couples, often point out that the non-gay spouse can suffer from severe self-esteem issues. They feel "unseen" or like they are competing with a ghost.
- The Authenticity Gap: While the men in the special felt they were being "authentic" by being honest about their attractions, critics argued they were living a half-life.
Pretton and Megan Montgomery were the "newlyweds" of the bunch. They were in that honeymoon phase where everything feels possible through the power of prayer and communication. But the viewers weren't convinced. The internet was brutal, with many predicting their divorce before the episode ended.
Where Are They Now?
This is the part that usually gets left out of the SEO-baited articles. What happened when the cameras went away?
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Jeff and Tanya Bennion stayed together for a long time. Jeff continued to be a vocal advocate for his lifestyle, writing articles and speaking at conferences for North Star, an organization for LDS members with same-sex attraction. He maintained that his marriage was fulfilling, even if it didn't fit the secular mold of what a "proper" marriage should look like.
However, the "success" of these marriages is often a moving target. In the years following the special, several high-profile LDS figures who previously promoted this lifestyle eventually came out and divorced. Josh Weed, a famous LDS blogger who had a very similar story to the men on the show, eventually announced in 2018 that he and his wife were divorcing after 15 years. He realized that the "quiet death" of his sexuality was actually destroying his mental health and his ability to be a present husband.
The men of My Husband Is Not Gay TLC haven't all had such public exits, but their story serves as a timestamp for a very specific era of religious transition.
The Evolution of the "Gay Mormon" Narrative
If this show were pitched in 2026, it probably wouldn't get made. Not because the people don't exist, but because the conversation has shifted so radically.
The LDS church has seen a massive internal struggle over LGBTQ+ issues. From the 2015 "Policy of Exclusion" (which was later reversed) to the increasing visibility of queer students at BYU, the "just marry a woman" solution is widely seen as a relic of the past.
Even within the church, there is more room now for people to be "out" and single, or "out" and in relationships, though the latter still carries heavy disciplinary consequences. The men in the special were trying to carve out a "middle way" that, in hindsight, looks like a very narrow, very sharp tightrope.
Is It Worth a Rewatch?
Honestly, yeah. If you can find it on Discovery+ or TLC's archives, it's a fascinating look at human psychology. It's easy to mock them, but there’s a certain tragedy in the sincerity. They truly believed they were doing the right thing for their souls and their families.
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You see the way they look at each other. You see the fear in their eyes when they talk about the "world" outside their bubble. It’s not a show about being gay; it’s a show about the stories we tell ourselves to survive in communities that don't have a place for our true selves.
Moving Forward: Lessons from the Show
If you’re someone navigating a mixed-orientation marriage or you’re just a fan of reality TV history, there are a few takeaways that remain relevant:
- Honesty isn't always enough. The men were honest about their attractions, but they weren't necessarily honest about the long-term sustainability of suppressing a core part of their identity.
- Community pressure is a hell of a drug. The social scaffolding of the LDS church in Utah provided a massive incentive for these men to stay in these marriages. When you remove that scaffolding, the structures often collapse.
- Labels matter, but people matter more. Whether they called themselves "gay" or "men with SSA," the underlying human needs for intimacy and being seen for who they really are remained the same.
Actionable Insights for Those in Similar Situations
If you find yourself researching this because your own life looks a bit like the show, here’s the reality:
- Seek Specialized Counseling: Don't just go to a religious leader. Find a therapist who understands "Mixed-Orientation Marriages" and won't push an agenda in either direction. You need a space where you can be brutally honest without fear of eternal consequences.
- Talk to the "Exes": There are many people who have left MOMs. Their perspective is just as valuable as those who are still in them. Check out groups like "Voices of Hope" (for those staying) but also "Mormon Stories" (for those who left) to get a balanced view.
- Prioritize the Spouse: If you are the straight spouse, your needs are just as important as your husband's struggle. It is not your "mission" or your "cross to bear" to be a placeholder for a sexuality he cannot express.
The legacy of My Husband Is Not Gay TLC isn't about whether those specific men were gay or not. Of course they were attracted to men; they said so. The real story is about what happens when a culture tries to force a square peg into a round hole, and the beautiful, heartbreaking, and ultimately fragile shapes that emerge from that pressure.