You probably think of her as the woman who could take down a 200-pound linebacker with nothing but a sneer and a well-timed insult about his mother. It’s been decades since Cheers went off the air, but Rhea Perlman is still, for many of us, the definitive Carla Tortelli. She was the backbone of that bar. Honestly, without her brand of sharp-tongued, Boston-bred cynicism, the show might have just been another soft-focus sitcom about a guy who liked baseball too much.
But there is a massive gap between the woman we saw slinging beers and the actual human being who navigated Hollywood for fifty years. People tend to blur the two together. They see the height—just 5 feet tall—and the curly hair and assume she’s just a feisty fireball who lived in Danny DeVito's shadow. That is basically the opposite of reality.
The Actress Perlman of Cheers: More Than Just a Mean Waitress
When Rhea Perlman first walked onto the set of Cheers in 1982, she wasn't exactly a rookie, but she wasn't a household name yet either. She’d done some work on Taxi (playing Zena, the "nice girl" girlfriend of DeVito’s Louie De Palma), but Carla was a different beast. The producers, Glen and Les Charles, saw her in a play where she was playing a tough character and thought, "Yeah, that's our girl."
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She was the first person hired for the ensemble. Think about that for a second. Before Sam, before Diane, before Coach—there was Carla.
What people forget is the sheer dominance she had at the Emmys. We’re talking ten nominations in eleven seasons. She won four times. That’s not just "being on a hit show"; that’s a masterclass in supporting acting. She took a character that could have been a one-note caricature of a "angry waitress" and turned her into a vulnerable, superstitious, fiercely protective mother of eight.
Breaking the "Tough Girl" Stereotype
Off-camera, the vibe was totally different. Perlman was—and is—deeply involved in social advocacy. Back in the late '80s, while her character was struggling to pay rent for her brood of kids, Perlman was actually lobbying for childcare reform in the real world.
She wasn't just talking about it, either. She helped establish the Paramount Studio Child Care Center. It was the first of its kind on a major studio lot. She saw a problem—actresses and crew members having nowhere to put their kids during 14-hour shoot days—and she fixed it. It’s funny because Carla Tortelli would probably just have yelled at the boss until he gave in, but Perlman used her leverage to actually change the industry’s infrastructure.
Why the "Matilda" Connection Still Hits Different
If you grew up in the 90s, you didn't know her as Carla. You knew her as Mrs. Wormwood. Watching her and Danny DeVito play the most loathsome parents in cinematic history in Matilda was a trip. They were icons of the "terrible parent" trope, but behind the scenes, they were raising three kids of their own in a house that was reportedly the complete opposite of the Wormwood household.
Their chemistry wasn't an accident. They met in 1971 after she saw him in an off-off-Broadway play called The Shrinking Bride. Two weeks later, they moved in together. They didn't even get married until 1982, right as Cheers was becoming a thing.
The Marriage Mystery That Confuses Everyone
Here is the thing that honestly trips people up: are they together or not?
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Technically? Yes.
Practically? Sorta.
They separated in 2012. Then they got back together. Then they separated again in 2017. But they never divorced. Perlman has been very vocal about this lately, especially on podcasts like Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s Wiser Than Me. She basically says, "Why bother with the paperwork?" They’ve been together for over 50 years. They share kids, grandkids, and a massive production company (Jersey Films). They talk every day. They are, in her words, "still married" but living separate lives. It’s a very modern, very "adult" way of handling a long-term partnership that most people just can't wrap their heads around.
Life After the Bar: The 2026 Perspective
It’s 2026, and Rhea Perlman hasn't slowed down, even if she isn't chasing the spotlight like some of her contemporaries. She recently popped up in the Barbie movie as Ruth Handler, the creator of the doll. It was a brief role, but it reminded everyone why she’s so good. She has this gravity. She can be the most grounded person in a room full of neon pink fantasy.
She’s also been doing a lot of voice work—Star Wars: The Bad Batch and Harley Quinn—which makes sense. Her voice is unmistakable. It’s got that New York grit that you just can't fake.
What Most People Get Wrong
The biggest misconception? That she’s "retired" or just "Danny DeVito's ex."
Nope.
Perlman is a power player in her own right. She’s an author (the Otto Undercover book series for kids is actually great). She’s a producer. She’s a grandmother who is obsessed with her family. She’s navigated the shift from 80s sitcom stardom to 2020s character acting without losing her edge.
- Fact check: She appeared in all 275 episodes of Cheers.
- The "Carla" Curse: She’s often asked if she’s as mean as Carla in real life. The answer is usually a polite (but firm) "No."
- Legacy: She holds the record for the most Golden Globe nominations in the Best Supporting Actress category (six of them).
How to Channel Your Inner Rhea (The Practical Stuff)
If you're looking to take a page out of her book, it’s not about being "mean" like Carla. It's about longevity and boundaries.
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- Define your own relationships. You don't have to follow the standard "divorce or stay miserable" path. If a "separated but close" marriage works for you, who cares what the neighbors think?
- Advocate where you work. Perlman saw a lack of childcare and built a center. Look at your own environment—what’s missing that you actually have the power to change?
- Don't be afraid to pivot. She went from stage to TV to movies to children’s books. The "actress Perlman of Cheers" tag is a great legacy, but it’s only one chapter of a much longer book.
If you're revisiting Cheers today, watch Carla’s face when she isn't talking. That’s where the real acting is. The way she watches the room, the way she reacts to the nonsense around her—it’s a masterclass in being present. She didn't just play a waitress; she owned the space. And 40 years later, she’s still owning it.