Six Principles of Communication: Why Your Message is Getting Lost

Six Principles of Communication: Why Your Message is Getting Lost

You’ve probably been there. You send what you think is a crystal-clear email, only to get a reply three hours later that makes it obvious the other person didn't understand a single word you wrote. It’s frustrating. Honestly, it’s a miracle we ever understand each other at all.

Communication isn't just about talking. It’s a messy, biological, and psychological exchange where things go wrong constantly. To fix this, we look at the six principles of communication—not as some corporate checklist, but as a survival kit for getting your point across without starting a fire. If you’ve ever wondered why some people command a room and others get talked over, this is the groundwork.

The Myth of "Common Sense" in Conversation

We often assume that if we speak English and the other person speaks English, we’re good to go. That is a massive mistake. According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian’s famous (and often misinterpreted) research, the literal words we use are only a tiny fraction of how people perceive our intent. If your tone says "I'm annoyed" but your words say "I'm fine," people believe your tone every single time.

That leads us to the first big pillar: Clarity.

Clarity is about cutting the fluff. We live in an era of "corporate speak" where people use words like "synergy" and "bandwidth" because they’re afraid of sounding too simple. But simple is hard. To be clear, you have to know exactly what you want the other person to do or feel after you stop talking. If you can’t summarize your point in one sentence, you aren't being clear; you're just making noise.

Think about the last time you read a legal disclaimer. It’s technically accurate, but it’s the opposite of clear. In business, clarity saves money. In relationships, it saves marriages.


Why Concision is a Power Move

Nobody ever walked out of a meeting and said, "I wish that went on for another twenty minutes."

Being concise is about respect. You’re respecting the other person's time. This is the second of our six principles of communication. It’s easy to ramble when you’re nervous. We over-explain because we’re trying to justify our position, but the more you talk, the more you dilute your main point.

  1. Delete the filler. "I was just wondering if maybe..." becomes "Can you...?"
  2. Stick to one topic. Don't try to solve the budget and the holiday party in the same breath.
  3. Know when to stop. Silence is actually a great communication tool.

If you look at some of the most effective leaders in history, they didn't give four-hour lectures. They gave short, punchy directives.

Context Matters More Than You Think

You wouldn't use the same language with your toddler that you’d use with your CEO. That sounds obvious, but people mess this up constantly by ignoring Concreteness. This is the third principle. Concreteness means using facts, figures, and vivid details rather than "vague-ing" your way through a conversation.

Instead of saying "The project is doing well," say "We’ve hit 85% of our milestones and we're two days ahead of schedule." See the difference? One is a vibe; the other is a fact. When you provide concrete data, you leave no room for the other person's brain to fill in the gaps with their own anxieties or assumptions.

The Emotional Layer: Courtesy and Correctness

You can be clear and concise and still be a jerk. If you’re a jerk, people stop listening. That’s where Courtesy comes in. This isn't just about saying "please" and "thank you," though that helps. It’s about being "receiver-centric."

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Are you considering the other person's current state of mind? If you drop a heavy critique on someone right as they’re walking out the door at 5:00 PM on a Friday, you aren't communicating effectively. You’re just dumping information. True communication requires a connection. It requires you to acknowledge that the person on the other end is a human being with their own stresses and biases.

Then there’s Correctness.

Mistakes happen. But if your message is riddled with typos or factual errors, your credibility dies. It doesn’t matter if your idea is brilliant; if you spell the client’s name wrong, they’re going to wonder what else you got wrong. Accuracy is the floor, not the ceiling.

The Sixth Piece: Completeness

The final of the six principles of communication is Completeness. A complete message answers all the "Who, What, When, Where, Why" questions before they even have to be asked.

  • Who needs to act?
  • What is the deadline?
  • Why are we doing this now?

If you leave out the "why," people often resist the "what." Humans are meaning-making machines. If you don't give them the reason, they’ll make up their own—and usually, the reason they invent is worse than the truth.


What Most People Get Wrong About Active Listening

We talk about the "six principles" like they are things you do when you're the speaker. But communication is a loop. If you aren't listening, you aren't communicating; you're just broadcasting.

Active listening is exhausting. It’s not just waiting for your turn to talk. It’s watching for the micro-expressions that tell you the other person is confused. It's asking, "Wait, let me make sure I’ve got this right—you’re saying the budget won’t cover the new hires?"

Julian Treasure, a top sound expert, often notes that we are "losing our listening." We spend so much time in digital silos that we’ve forgotten how to pick up on the nuance of a human voice. If you want to master the six principles, start by shutting up more often.

Digital Communication is a Different Beast

Let’s be real: most of our communication happens through a screen now. The six principles of communication apply, but the stakes are higher. You don't have body language to bail you out.

On Slack or Discord, "We need to talk" sounds like a death sentence. In person, with a smile, it sounds like a casual catch-up. Because the digital medium strips away the warmth, you have to over-index on Courtesy and Clarity.

  • Bold your key asks. If you need a reply by Tuesday, put it in bold.
  • Use emojis sparingly but intentionally. They function as the "non-verbal" cues of the digital world. A well-placed thumbs-up can de-escalate a tense exchange.
  • Assume positive intent. This is a mental hack. Since you can’t see the other person, assume they aren't trying to be rude. It changes how you phrase your reply.

Turning Principles into Habits

Knowledge isn't power; applied knowledge is. You can memorize the six principles of communication today and still have a blowout argument with your partner tonight because you got defensive.

Start small. Tomorrow, pick one principle. Maybe it's Concision. Every email you write, try to cut it by 20% before hitting send. See if people respond faster. Usually, they do.

Then, move to Concreteness. Stop using "we'll see" or "soon." Give dates. Give numbers. Watch how the ambiguity in your life starts to evaporate. It’s kind of wild how much anxiety is caused simply by poor communication.

Practical Steps for Your Next High-Stakes Talk

If you have a big presentation or a difficult conversation coming up, run it through this filter:

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  1. Audit for Clarity: What is the one thing I want them to remember?
  2. Check for Completeness: Did I include the date, time, and specific call to action?
  3. Adjust for Courtesy: Have I acknowledged their perspective or the work they've already done?
  4. Proof for Correctness: Are my numbers 100% verified?
  5. Trim for Concision: Am I repeating myself just to fill the silence?
  6. Solidify Concreteness: Swap "a lot" for "50 units" and "better" for "15% more efficient."

Communication is a skill, not a personality trait. You aren't "bad at it"—you're just out of practice. By leaning into these six principles of communication, you stop guessing and start connecting. It takes effort, but the alternative is a lifetime of being misunderstood, and honestly, nobody has time for that.