The Truth About Used to Love Her: Guns N' Roses and the Song Everyone Misunderstands

The Truth About Used to Love Her: Guns N' Roses and the Song Everyone Misunderstands

You’ve heard it at dive bars. You’ve heard it on classic rock radio tucked between "Sweet Child O' Mine" and something by Mötley Crüe. It starts with that breezy, acoustic shuffle—almost like a campfire sing-along—and then Axl Rose drops the line that makes everyone do a double-take: "I used to love her, but I had to kill her." It’s dark. It’s blunt. It’s Used to Love Her by Guns N' Roses, and honestly, it’s probably the most misinterpreted song in the band's entire chaotic catalog.

People get worked up about it. In the late 80s and early 90s, critics pointed to the track as evidence of the band’s supposed misogyny or violent tendencies. They saw it as a literal confession or a disturbing fantasy. But if you actually know the history of the GNR guys—Izzy Stradlin, Slash, Duff, and Axl—you know they were usually more interested in being sarcastic troublemakers than actual villains.

The song wasn't about a woman. It wasn't about a girlfriend who talked too much. It was about a dog.


Why Used to Love Her is the Ultimate GNR Troll

The year was 1988. Appetite for Destruction was already turning the music world upside down, and the band needed something to bridge the gap while they worked on the massive Use Your Illusion project. They put out G N' R Lies. The "B-side" of that record featured four acoustic tracks recorded in a single session.

Izzy Stradlin, the band’s rhythmic backbone and often the secret weapon behind their best songwriting, came in with this melody. It’s incredibly simple. Three chords. D, G, and A. It’s basically a parody of a 70s folk-rock song.

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According to various interviews with Slash and Duff McKagan over the years, the song was written as a joke. They were sitting around, and someone (often cited as Izzy) was complaining about a dog that wouldn't stop barking. The lyrics were a way to vent that frustration in the most over-the-top, ridiculous way possible. "She's buried six feet under, and I can still hear her complain." That’s not a murder confession; it’s a guy who’s annoyed that even though the dog is gone, he can still hear the phantom yapping in his head.

The Misogyny Controversy and the Media Firestorm

Context matters, but in 1988, context was hard to come by if you weren't reading Kerrang! or Circus magazine. When the general public heard Used to Love Her, they didn't see the joke. They saw a band that already looked like "the most dangerous band in the world" singing about killing a girl because she complained too much.

Slash has been on the record multiple times trying to clear this up. He famously told Rolling Stone and mentioned in his own autobiography that people took it way too seriously. "It's a joke," he’d say. "Nothing more." But Axl Rose, being Axl Rose, didn't always help matters. His stage persona was built on defiance. If the media thought they were dangerous, he was happy to let them believe it, even if it meant letting a song about a noisy dog be branded as a domestic violence anthem.

Think about the contrast. You have "Patience" on the same side of the record—a beautiful, whistling ballad about longing and hope. Then you have this. It’s the duality of Guns N' Roses. They could be sensitive, and then they could be absolute jerks five minutes later just to see if you were paying attention.


Breaking Down the Lyrics: Sarcasm vs. Reality

If you look closely at the phrasing, the "complaining" is the giveaway. In the world of rock and roll excess, Guns N' Roses dealt with real drama. Heroin addiction. Massive lawsuits. Internal fistfights. The idea that someone would "have to kill" a partner because she "chased him for so long" or "moaned" is played for dark comedic effect.

It’s essentially a "dead baby joke" in song form. It’s meant to shock.

  • "I had to put her six feet under": Classic hyperbole.
  • "I can still hear her complain": The punchline that confirms the person/subject isn't actually gone from the narrator's mind.
  • The "Whoa, tell me" ad-libs: Axl’s vocal delivery here isn't angry. It’s light. It’s almost soulful. That’s the irony.

Compare this to a song like "It's So Easy," where the aggression is palpable and raw. Used to Love Her is bouncy. It’s the kind of song you play at a BBQ while everyone’s had one too many beers.

The Acoustic Side of G N' R Lies

The album G N' R Lies is a weird beast. The first half is just the Live ?!@ Like a Suicide* EP, which wasn't even actually live (they added crowd noise in the studio). The second half is the acoustic stuff.

This session showed a different side of the band. It proved they didn't need a wall of Marshall stacks to be interesting. "Used to Love Her" actually showcases Izzy Stradlin’s influence more than almost any other track. Izzy loved the Rolling Stones and that "beggar's banquet" vibe. You can hear it in the strumming pattern.

The recording was fast. It wasn't overthought. That’s why it feels so "human" and messy. There’s a mistake or two in the guitar tracks if you listen closely enough. It’s authentic. It captures five guys in a room who were suddenly the biggest stars on the planet, just messing around with an acoustic guitar and a dark sense of humor.

Was there a real dog?

There are conflicting stories. Some roadies from the early days claim there was a specific dog at a house they stayed at that drove Izzy crazy. Others say it was a metaphor for a relationship that just wouldn't end. But the consensus among the band members themselves has always landed on the canine explanation.

In the VH1 Behind the Music era, the narrative shifted slightly to emphasize the "joke" aspect. They realized that in a more PC-conscious world, the song didn't age particularly well if taken literally. But honestly? GNR never cared about aging well. They cared about the reaction.


The Legacy of the Song in Live Performances

Guns N' Roses still plays this song. Even in the 2020s, during the "Not In This Lifetime" tour and subsequent runs, it pops up in the setlist. Usually, it’s part of a "sit down" acoustic mini-set.

When they play it now, the audience sings along to every word. It’s become a staple. It’s lost its "danger" and become a sing-along classic. Isn't that weird? A song about killing someone (even if it's a dog) is now a moment of bonding between 50,000 people in a stadium.

It speaks to the power of the melody. It’s a "hooky" song. You hear it once, and the chorus is stuck in your head for three days. That’s the brilliance of Izzy’s songwriting—he could take the most mundane or even "wrong" subject matter and wrap it in a melody that feels like an old friend.

Common Misconceptions to Clear Up

Let's get the facts straight because the internet loves a good conspiracy theory.

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  1. It is not about Axl's ex-wife, Erin Everly. They weren't even married when this was written, and their relationship, while volatile, inspired songs like "Sweet Child O' Mine" and "Estranged," not this one.
  2. It is not about Stephanie Seymour. She came much later, during the Illusion era.
  3. The band did not get sued for the song. While it caused a stir, it fell under artistic expression.
  4. It wasn't a "hidden" track. It was clearly listed on the back of the Lies album.

How to Listen to It Today

If you’re going to revisit the track, listen to it immediately after "Patience." The jump from the sincere, heart-on-his-sleeve Axl to the "I had to kill her" Axl is the quintessential Guns N' Roses experience. It reminds you that they weren't just a rock band; they were a soap opera.

They were five guys from completely different backgrounds who somehow clicked for a few years to create something untouchable. Used to Love Her is a tiny, three-minute window into their rehearsal room. It’s a snapshot of their chemistry before the ego, the stadiums, and the eventual breakup took over.

Key Takeaways for Fans

If you're looking to understand the song's place in rock history, keep these points in mind:

  • Don't take it literally. The band has confirmed it's a dark joke about a dog.
  • Watch the credits. Izzy Stradlin’s influence is all over this song. It’s his "Stonesy" vibe at its peak.
  • The Contrast. It’s the perfect example of GNR’s "Lies" era—unfiltered, acoustic, and unapologetic.
  • Check the Recording. It was recorded at Rumbo Studios and the raw, "live" feel was intentional.

If you want to dive deeper into the GNR lore, your next move should be checking out the G N' R Lies liner notes. They are styled like a tabloid newspaper, which perfectly sets the stage for the "scandalous" nature of the lyrics. Reading those notes while listening to the track gives you the full 1988 experience. You can also look up the 1989 Ritz performance if you want to see them play it with the raw energy of a band that knew they were offending people and loved every second of it.

The song remains a classic not because it's PC, but because it's a perfectly crafted piece of dark-humor rock and roll. It’s a reminder that music doesn't always have to be a profound statement. Sometimes, it’s just a way to vent about a dog that won't stop barking.