It happens in a split second. You’re sitting on the couch, your Golden Retriever lunges for a "kiss," and suddenly there’s a tongue in your mouth. Some people laugh it off. Others find it endearing. But lately, the topic of women making out with dogs has sparked intense debate across social media and veterinary clinics alike. It’s a polarizing subject that sits at the messy intersection of animal behavior, human psychology, and basic hygiene.
Honestly? It’s kinda gross to some, but to others, it’s just an extreme version of the "dogs are family" mindset.
However, we need to talk about the science here. When we treat dogs like little humans in fur suits, we ignore the biological reality of what’s actually happening in their mouths. A dog’s mouth is not "cleaner than a human’s." That’s a total myth.
Dogs use their mouths as primary tools for exploration. They eat things off the sidewalk. They lick their own hindquarters. They probe the world with their tongues in ways that would make a person gag. When a woman engages in making out with dogs—whether intentionally or by letting a pet linger too long during a greeting—she is essentially inviting a cocktail of foreign bacteria into her system.
The Microbiome Mismatch
Think about the sheer variety of germs. Research published in PLOS ONE has shown that humans and dogs share some skin microbes, but our oral microbiomes are vastly different. When you’re making out with dogs, you’re introducing species like Porphyromonas gulae into your mouth. This is a primary cause of periodontal disease in canines. While it doesn't always jump the species barrier perfectly, the risk of gingival inflammation in humans is real.
Dr. Neilanjan Nandi, a professor of medicine at Drexel University College of Medicine, has been vocal about this. He points out that the canine mouth is host to a "vast microbiome of bacteria, viruses, and yeast." Most of these are zoonotic, meaning they can pass from animals to humans.
It's not just about a sore throat.
Take Capnocytophaga canimorsus. It sounds like a Harry Potter spell, but it’s actually a bacterium found in the saliva of healthy dogs. For most people, a lick on the hand does nothing. But if that saliva hits a mucous membrane—like your lips or the inside of your mouth—it can, in rare and extreme cases, lead to sepsis. We’ve seen headlines about people losing limbs due to this specific infection. It’s rare, sure. But why play those odds for a "kiss"?
Why Some Women Feel the Urge to Over-Affectionate
Psychology plays a huge role here. We live in an era of "fur babies." The oxytocin spike you get from looking at your dog is identical to the one mothers get from looking at their infants. This is a scientific fact. A study led by Takefumi Kikusui at Azabu University in Japan confirmed that mutual gazing between dogs and owners raises oxytocin levels in both species.
This hormonal loop can blur boundaries.
When a woman is making out with dogs, she’s often responding to a deep-seated need for connection. Dogs provide unconditional positive regard. They don't judge. They don't talk back. In a world that’s increasingly lonely, the physical affection of a pet is a powerful drug.
But dogs don't "kiss" to show love in the way we do.
In a pack, licking is a sign of submission. It’s a way for puppies to ask for food from their mothers. It’s a grooming ritual. When your dog licks your face, they might be showing affection, but they might also just like the salty taste of your skin or be trying to figure out what you had for lunch. They aren't trying to "make out." They are being dogs. Treating them like romantic partners or even human children by engaging in mouth-to-mouth contact is a projection of human desires onto an animal that doesn't share them.
Parasites: The Uninvited Guests
Let's get blunt. Dogs lick their butts.
They do it to stay clean. They do it because they have an itch. Whatever the reason, their tongues are frequently in contact with fecal matter. This means their saliva can carry the eggs of parasites like roundworms and hookworms.
If you’re making out with dogs, you are putting yourself at direct risk for visceral larva migrans. This happens when roundworm larvae migrate through human tissue. It can cause permanent organ damage or even blindness if they reach the eye. Is that a common occurrence? No. Is it possible? Absolutely.
Veterinarians like Dr. Marty Becker often emphasize that while the "kissing" habit is common, it’s fundamentally a hygiene failure. You wouldn't lick your own shoe after walking through a park, yet making out with dogs is essentially doing exactly that, but with a warm, wet delivery system.
The Behavioral Fallout
There’s another side to this that people rarely consider: the dog’s mental health.
Dogs thrive on clear boundaries. When a human gets "in their face" for a kiss, many dogs actually feel threatened. Have you ever noticed a dog licking its lips, turning its head away, or showing the whites of its eyes (whale eye) when someone tries to kiss them? Those are "cut-off signals." They are the dog saying, "Please stop, I’m uncomfortable."
Ignoring these signs can lead to "sudden" bites.
A woman making out with dogs might think she has a "special bond," but she might actually be stressing the animal out. When we force human-style intimacy on canines, we increase their anxiety levels. Some dogs tolerate it. Others eventually snap.
Real Cases and Health Consequences
We have to look at the data. The CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) frequently updates guidelines on zoonotic diseases. They specifically warn against letting pets lick your face or mouth, especially for people with weakened immune systems, the elderly, or young children.
Consider the case of Pasteurella multocida. This is a common inhabitant of the canine respiratory tract. While it usually causes issues through bite wounds, it can also infect humans through saliva contact with mucous membranes. It can cause pneumonia, abscesses, and even meningitis.
Again, it’s about risk assessment.
Most people who let their dogs lick them will be fine. Their immune systems handle the load. But the habit of making out with dogs increases the "pathogen load" your body has to fight off daily. It’s a self-inflicted tax on your health.
Setting Healthier Boundaries
So, how do you show love without the spit exchange?
It’s actually pretty simple. You have to pivot. Instead of mouth-to-mouth contact, focus on scratches behind the ears or chest rubs. These are "dog-centric" forms of affection that don't involve a transfer of bacteria.
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If your dog is a "serial licker," you can train them to "target" your hand instead of your face. It satisfies their urge to groom you without the health risks.
You should also stay on top of their deworming schedule. A dog that is free of internal parasites is a much safer companion. Use a high-quality, vet-recommended flea, tick, and worm preventative. This doesn't make their mouth "clean," but it removes the highest-risk threats like Toxocara canis.
Practical Steps for a Safer Bond
- Wash your face immediately if a dog manages to sneak a lick in. Use soap and water. Don't just wipe it off with your sleeve.
- Redirect the behavior. Use a command like "Off" or "No Kisses" and reward the dog for sitting calmly instead.
- Brush your dog's teeth. This isn't just for their breath; it reduces the bacterial load in their mouth. Use dog-specific toothpaste, as human toothpaste contains xylitol, which is toxic to them.
- Monitor your dog's health. If they have diarrhea or are "scooting" on the carpet, their fecal-oral contamination risk is much higher. No face contact whatsoever during these times.
- Listen to the experts. If a veterinarian or a behavioral specialist tells you that your level of intimacy with your pet is unhealthy, take it seriously. They are looking at the biological and psychological welfare of both you and the animal.
Ultimately, the bond between a woman and her dog is one of the most profound connections possible. It’s a friendship that spans species. But true respect for an animal involves recognizing that they are not humans. They have their own language, their own biology, and their own set of germs. By moving away from the habit of making out with dogs and toward more appropriate forms of affection, you protect your health and respect the dog's nature.
Stop treating the dog's mouth like a human's. Start treating the dog like a dog. They'll be happier for it, and you'll certainly be healthier.
Next Steps for Pet Owners:
Start by scheduling a dental checkup for your dog to assess their current oral health. Simultaneously, begin training sessions to replace face-licking with a "touch" command using your hand. This keeps the affection high while keeping the bacterial exchange to a minimum. Check your dog's latest fecal exam results to ensure they are clear of zoonotic parasites like roundworms.