Dating is weird. You meet a stranger, sit across from them, and basically interrogate each other while trying to eat salad without getting spinach in your teeth. It’s a lot. Most of us default to "coffee or drinks" because it’s safe, but honestly, it’s also incredibly boring. If you’re looking for things to do on a date, you probably want something that actually breaks the ice instead of just melting it into a lukewarm puddle of small talk.
The goal isn't just to "do an activity." It’s to create a situation where you can see how the other person handles reality. Do they get frustrated when they lose at mini-golf? Are they kind to the server? Can they laugh at themselves? These are the things that actually matter.
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Why "Active Dating" Beats the Standard Dinner
Sitting face-to-face for two hours is high pressure. It forces constant eye contact, which can feel aggressive to our lizard brains. When you’re doing something—walking, looking at art, trying not to fall over on ice skates—you’re side-by-side.
Psychologists often talk about the "misattribution of arousal." It’s a classic study from 1974 by Dutton and Aron where they found that men who crossed a shaky, high-altitude bridge were more likely to be attracted to a woman they met on the other side than those who crossed a low, stable bridge. Basically, your brain confuses the adrenaline of the activity with the excitement of the person. You don’t need to go bungee jumping, but a little stimulation goes a long way.
Low-Stakes Things to Do on a Date
Start small. You don't need a hot air balloon.
Sometimes the best dates are just "errand plus." Go to a massive hardware store or a quirky Japanese supermarket like Mitsuwa. It sounds crazy. It's not. Walking through aisles of strange snacks or looking at ridiculous home decor gives you a million natural conversation starters. You aren't searching for things to talk about; the environment provides them. "Have you ever tried this weird melon soda?" "Look at this terrifying lawn gnome." It’s easy. It’s cheap. You can leave whenever you want.
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If you’re in a city with a decent museum, go there, but don't try to see everything. Pick one weird wing—like the medieval armor or the 18th-century snuff boxes—and spend twenty minutes there. Make up fake backstories for the portraits. It’s much more revealing than reciting facts you read on the plaque.
The Arcade Strategy
Arcades are back, and for good reason. Places like Dave & Buster's or local "barcades" are perfect because they are loud enough to mask awkward silences but social enough to keep things moving.
Play the cooperative games. See if you can actually work together to shoot zombies or win at Mario Kart. Competitive energy is fine, but watching how someone reacts to losing is the real "green flag" test. If they throw a fit over Skee-Ball, you’ve learned everything you need to know for the price of a few tokens.
Getting Into Nature (Without the 5-Mile Hike)
Please, for the love of everything, don't take a first date on a grueling hike where there’s no cell service and no easy exit. It’s a bit much. Instead, try a botanical garden or a very well-trafficked park loop.
- Picnics are underrated. But keep it simple. Buy some high-end cheese, a baguette, and those fancy grapes that taste like cotton candy.
- Dog parks. If one of you has a dog, this is the ultimate wingman move. Dogs break the tension instantly.
- Farmers markets. Sunday morning dates are underrated. You get coffee, you walk around, you look at overpriced heirloom tomatoes. It’s wholesome and has a built-in end time when the stalls start packing up.
The "Third Place" Concept
Sociologist Ray Oldenburg talked about "third places"—spots that aren't home (the first place) and aren't work (the second place). Think bookstores, local cafes, or community gardens.
A bookstore date is elite. Go to a place like The Last Bookstore in LA or any local independent shop. Tell each other to find three books: one you loved as a kid, one that changed your life, and one with the most ridiculous cover you can find. It’s a shortcut to understanding someone’s personality without asking, "So, what are your hobbies?"
What About Food and Drink?
You’re going to eat eventually. But instead of a three-course meal, try a "taco crawl" or a "dessert-only" outing. Go to three different spots and share one thing at each. It turns a static meal into an adventure. You’re moving, you’re changing scenery, and you’re experiencing different vibes.
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If you’re doing the bar thing, find a place with a specific "thing." A speakeasy with a hidden door, a place with live jazz, or a dive bar with a legendary jukebox. The "thing" gives you something to talk about when the conversation hits a lull.
Cooking Together?
Maybe save this for the third or fourth date. Inviting a stranger to your house or going to theirs can be a bit intense for a first meeting. However, a public cooking class is a blast. You’re both learning a skill, you’re both probably failing a little bit at folding dumplings, and you get to eat the results. It’s a controlled environment with a professional buffer (the instructor).
Things to Do on a Date When You’re Broke
You don't need to spend $100 to have a good time. Honestly, sometimes the high-budget dates feel too performative.
- Trivia Night. Most pubs do this for free. You get to be on a team together.
- Used Record Stores. Flipping through vinyl is tactile and cool.
- Local High School or College Sports. It’s cheap, the energy is weirdly high, and the snacks are usually great.
- Volunteer. Spend two hours at an animal shelter or a community fridge. It’s a fast way to see if your values actually align.
The "Bad" Date Idea That’s Actually Good
Go somewhere intentionally cheesy. A tourist trap you both usually avoid. A bowling alley that hasn't been renovated since 1987. A psychic reading. When the activity is a little bit "bad" or ironic, it takes the pressure off the date being "perfect." You’re both in on the joke.
Managing the Exit
One of the biggest stresses about things to do on a date is knowing when to stop. Always have a "soft exit." If you’re at a museum, the exit is when you hit the gift shop. If you’re at a park, it’s when you finish the loop. Avoid activities that lock you in for four hours (like a long movie or a sit-down show) until you know you actually like the person.
Actionable Next Steps
If you're staring at your phone trying to plan something for this weekend, stop overthinking it.
Check your local "Eater" guide for a new neighborhood you've never explored. Pick a coffee shop there as a starting point. Tell your date: "Let’s grab a coffee at [Place] and then wander over to that weird vintage shop nearby."
It’s low pressure. It’s active. It’s interesting.
The best things to do on a date are the ones that allow you to be yourself. If you’re a nerd, go to a science center. If you love trashy TV, find a bar that shows The Bachelor on Mondays. Don't perform a version of yourself that you think they want to see. The right person will think your "weird" date idea is actually the best one they've been on in years.