People still talk about it. Even years later, the footage of Tom Brady kissing his son Jack on the lips remains one of the most divisive "non-sports" moments in NFL history. It’s weird how a five-second clip from a Facebook documentary can spark more heated debate than a controversial holding call in the Super Bowl.
But why? Honestly, it depends on who you ask. To some, it was a beautiful display of fatherly love. To others, it was "cringy" or "uncomfortable."
If you haven't seen the video, or if you only remember the headlines, the context is actually pretty simple. It was 2018. Brady was filming his docuseries Tom vs. Time. In the first episode, the quarterback is lying on a massage table. His oldest son, Jack (who was 11 at the time), walks in. Jack wants to check his fantasy football scores.
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Brady, being a dad, plays the "negotiation" game. He asks, "What do I get?"
Jack leans in and gives him a quick peck on the lips. He starts to walk away. Then, Brady says, "That was like a peck." Jack circles back and gives him a second, longer kiss on the mouth.
Then the internet absolutely lost its mind.
The Cultural Divide: Is It Just a "Brady Family Thing"?
The backlash was instant. Social media erupted with people calling the interaction "disturbing." Some critics focused on the length of the second kiss. Others were bothered by the "transactional" nature of it—the idea that affection was the "price" for checking a fantasy team.
But here’s the thing: context matters.
In the Brady household, this isn't some weird outlier. After the Patriots won Super Bowl LI, cameras caught Tom kissing his own father, Tom Brady Sr., on the lips. For them, it’s just how they show affection. It's a family trait.
You’ve probably seen this in different cultures too. In many European and Latin American families, kissing children on the mouth is totally standard. It’s not sexualized; it’s just a high-level expression of warmth.
What Parenting Experts Actually Say
While Twitter was busy being outraged, actual experts were split.
Lyss Stern, a parenting expert and CEO of DivaMoms.com, told news outlets at the time that people needed to "back off and stop parent shaming." Her take was basically that if you kiss your kids too little or too much, someone is going to find a reason to complain.
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On the flip side, some social workers raised eyebrows—not necessarily at the kiss itself, but at the dynamic. Carolyn Meyer-Wartels, a licensed clinical social worker, pointed out that tying affection to a favor (like checking a fantasy team) can be tricky. The idea is that kids should learn they have bodily autonomy. They shouldn't feel like they have to give physical affection to get something they want.
Why We Can't Stop Talking About It
There is a deeper layer to this. It’s about how we view masculinity.
We’re used to seeing NFL players as "tough guys." We see them hitting each other at full speed and playing through broken bones. When a 6'4" titan of the sport shows "soft" or "vulnerable" affection toward his son, it clashes with the traditional image of a stoic father.
For some, seeing that level of intimacy between a father and a pre-teen son feels "wrong" because we’ve been conditioned to think that boys should "toughen up" and stop being physically affectionate with their dads once they hit a certain age.
- The Age Factor: Many critics argued that 11 was "too old" for that kind of kiss.
- The Duration: People fixated on the fact that it lasted several seconds.
- The Public Eye: Because it was in a documentary Brady produced, people felt they had a "right" to judge it.
The "Cringe" Returned in 2022
If you thought the world moved on, think again. In late 2022, Brady posted a photo on Instagram with Jack, who was then a teenager. In one photo, Tom is kissing Jack on the side of the neck while they're hanging out by a pool.
Once again, the "cringe" comments flooded in.
By this point, Jack was nearly as tall as his dad. The public's discomfort seemed to grow as Jack aged. It highlights a weird double standard in our society: we generally don't bat an eye when a mother kisses her teenage son or daughter, but a father doing the same often triggers a "red alert" for some people.
What Really Happened with Jack?
Despite the internet's obsession, Jack Brady seems to have a great relationship with his dad. He’s been seen on the sidelines of games for years, and by all accounts, they are incredibly close.
In the original 2018 clip, after the second kiss, Jack actually wipes his mouth with his shirt and moves on to talk about football. To him, it looked like a "dad is being annoying" moment, not a traumatic event. Most parents of pre-teens recognize that look. It’s the "Ugh, fine, here's your kiss, now let me use the phone" vibe.
Actionable Takeaways: Navigating Affection and Boundaries
So, what can we actually learn from the Tom Brady kissing his son saga? It's less about Brady and more about how we handle affection in our own lives.
1. Respect Your Child’s "No"
The most important rule in parenting is respecting a child’s boundaries. If a child pulls away or says they don't want to be kissed, that’s where it should end. Affection should always be a "yes" from both sides.
2. Check the "Currency" Factor
Try to avoid making affection a transaction. Statements like "Give Grandma a hug or you won't get dessert" can accidentally teach kids that their bodies are a bargaining chip. It's better to keep love and "perks" separate.
3. Understand Cultural Nuance
Before judging another family's style, remember that "normal" is relative. What feels "weird" to you might be a deep-rooted tradition of warmth and security in another family.
4. Dads Need to Be Affectionate
Research consistently shows that children (especially boys) benefit significantly from physical affection from their fathers. It builds self-esteem and emotional intelligence. Whether that’s a kiss on the lips, a hug, or a high-five depends on the family, but the warmth is what matters.
At the end of the day, Tom Brady is a guy who has lived his entire adult life under a microscope. He clearly loves his kids deeply and isn't afraid to show it, even if it makes the rest of the world uncomfortable. Whether you think it’s "too much" or "just right," it’s a reminder that every family has its own language of love.