You remember being fourteen. That paralyzing, stomach-turning dread that hits when your crush walks by? Now imagine if, instead of just blushing, you literally disappeared from the face of the earth.
That’s the life of Violet Parr.
Most people watch The Incredibles and see a movie about capes and monologues. But for a specific generation of Pixar fans, the real drama wasn't Syndrome’s giant robot. It was Tony Rydinger. Tony is the ultimate "cool kid" of Western View Junior High, and for Violet, he represented the one thing more terrifying than a supervillain: a social life.
Honestly, the way Pixar handled The Incredibles Violet crush is probably the most realistic depiction of middle school romance ever put to film. It’s messy. It involves accidental nose-snorting of water. And in the sequel, it gets surprisingly dark.
Who Exactly is Tony Rydinger?
Tony isn’t a superhero. He doesn't have a tragic origin story. He’s just a kid with great hair and a letterman jacket who happens to notice the shy girl in the back of the class.
In the 2004 original, Tony is voiced by Michael Bird—who is actually director Brad Bird’s son. He’s the "dreamy" archetype. We first see him through Violet’s eyes (or rather, her hair) as she hides behind her black tresses, literally turning invisible to avoid his gaze.
But here’s the thing about Tony: he’s not a jerk. Unlike the typical high school movie trope where the popular guy is a bully, Tony is actually kind of a dork himself. By the end of the first movie, when he finally approaches Violet at the track meet, he’s the one stuttering. He’s nervous. It levels the playing field.
Then 2018 happened.
When Incredibles 2 hit theaters fourteen years later, fans noticed something weird. Tony looked... different. His design was overhauled to look more modern, a bit slimmer, with a slightly different nose and hair texture. Some fans joked he’d had "Pixar plastic surgery," but the core of his character stayed the same: he’s a decent guy caught in a world of Supers.
The Memory Wipe That Changed Everything
If you haven't watched the sequel recently, you might have forgotten how high the stakes got for these two.
During the opening battle with the Underminer, Tony catches a glimpse of Violet without her mask. It’s the classic "secret identity revealed" moment, but it doesn't lead to a romantic sunset. Instead, it leads to Rick Dicker—the government agent in charge of the Super Relocation Program—interrogating Tony and wiping his memory.
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But Dicker went too far.
He didn't just wipe the memory of Violet being a superhero; he wiped every memory of Violet.
It’s heartbreaking. Imagine finally getting the courage to talk to your crush, only for them to look at you with total blankness and ask, "Do I know you?" Violet’s reaction is raw. She goes through a full teenage meltdown—crying, screaming at her dad, and eventually ending up at The Happy Platter (the restaurant Tony’s family owns) where she accidentally sprays water out of her nose during a botched attempt to re-introduce herself.
Why This Subplot Actually Matters
Why spend so much screen time on a middle school crush in a movie about saving the world?
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Because Violet’s powers are tied to her psyche. Brad Bird has famously stated that the Parr family’s powers are based on their roles in the family.
- Bob is the strong provider.
- Helen is pulled in a million directions.
- Dash is a ball of energy.
- Violet is the insecure teenager who wants to hide.
Her relationship with Tony is the barometer for her self-confidence. When she’s feeling low, she’s invisible. When she’s feeling bold, her force fields are impenetrable. By the time we reach the end of the second film, Violet isn't hiding behind her hair anymore. She’s the one who initiates the date. She takes control.
The "Happy Platter" Incident and Real Growth
There is a nuance to Tony’s character that often gets overlooked. Even after his memory is wiped and he has no clue who Violet is, he’s still a nice guy. When she has her embarrassing "water-nose" moment at his restaurant, he doesn't mock her. He’s genuinely concerned.
It proves that Violet didn't just fall for a "cool kid." She fell for someone who, even without the context of their history, is fundamentally a good person.
The movie ends with them finally heading to the theater to see a movie (ironically, the marquee says Dementia, a cheeky nod to his memory loss). But even then, duty calls. The Parr family sees a crime in progress, and Violet has to ditch Tony at the curb, promising to be back before the previews end.
It’s the perfect ending because it acknowledges that Violet can have both. She can be the hero who saves the city, and she can be the girl who finally gets the guy.
Moving Forward: What Fans Should Know
If you’re looking to dive deeper into the lore of Violet and Tony, there are a few places to look beyond the movies.
- The Comics: Check out The Incredibles: Family Matters from BOOM! Studios. The comics explore more of the "normal" life of the Parr kids, including the social hierarchies of their school.
- Character Design: Compare the 2004 Tony with the 2018 Tony. It’s a fascinating study in how animation technology and aesthetic trends changed over a decade.
- The Voice Cast: Fun fact—Michael Bird didn't pursue an acting career after the first movie, but he came back specifically for the sequel because the fans loved the Tony/Violet dynamic so much.
The best way to appreciate this storyline is to re-watch both films back-to-back. You’ll see that while the world sees a girl who can disappear, Tony Rydinger is the only one who truly made her want to be seen.
To see how Violet's confidence impacts her combat style, pay close attention to the final ship battle in the second movie. You'll notice her force fields are significantly larger and more aggressive than they were in the first film—directly mirroring her growth in her personal life. For more on Pixar’s character development, look into the "Superpowers as Metaphor" interviews with the animation team.