You’ve seen them. Those little slips of cardstock sitting next to a bowl of lukewarm punch, usually printed with some generic eucalyptus vine or a glittery gold border. People call them wedding shower advice cards, but honestly? Most of the time, they’re a complete afterthought. A filler activity to occupy guests while the bride-to-be unties ribbons from a toaster box.
But here is the thing.
When you do them right, these cards actually become one of the few pieces of wedding ephemera that don’t end up in a junk drawer or a recycling bin three weeks later. They turn into a weird, beautiful time capsule. My cousin still pulls hers out when she and her husband are having a rough Tuesday, just to read her grandmother’s shaky handwriting telling her to "never go to bed angry, but always go to bed with a snack."
It sounds cheesy. It is. But it works.
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If you're planning a shower, you need to stop thinking of these as a "game" and start thinking of them as a curated collection of wisdom. Or, at the very least, a way to get your Great Aunt Linda to stop talking about her sciatica for five minutes and share her secret to a fifty-year marriage.
The Anatomy of a Card That Actually Gets Written
Most people mess up the design immediately. They leave a tiny, two-inch box and expect someone to distill a lifetime of relationship success into it. You can't fit real life in a tiny box.
If you want better answers, you have to ask better questions. "Advice for the Couple" is boring. It’s too broad. It’s like asking someone to "tell a story." Their mind goes blank. Instead, try prompts that force people to be specific. Ask for a "Date Night Idea Under $20" or "How to Handle the First Big Fight." Suddenly, guests have a lane to drive in.
I’ve seen some brilliant variations. One maid of honor at a shower in Chicago last year used cards that asked guests to predict where the couple would be in ten years. Another asked for "The Secret to a Happy Kitchen." The answers were hilarious, mostly involving takeout menus and the realization that nobody actually likes washing the crockpot.
Why Paper Quality Matters More Than You Think
Don’t print these on standard 20lb printer paper. Just don’t. It feels cheap, it bleeds when someone uses a felt-tip pen, and it shrivels if a drop of mimosa touches it. Use a heavy cardstock—at least 100lb cover weight. You want something that feels substantial in the hand.
Think about the pens, too.
Providing a cup of cheap, scratchy ballpoints is a rookie mistake. Get some decent fine-liners or even those fancy felt tips. When the writing experience feels "premium," people tend to take the task a bit more seriously. They linger. They think. They actually try to spell "commitment" correctly.
Getting Guests to Actually Participate
We’ve all been to those showers where the wedding shower advice cards just sit there, untouched and lonely. It’s awkward for the host. It’s even more awkward for the bride.
You have to bake it into the flow of the event.
Don't just leave them on a side table. Put one at every place setting. Make it part of the table aesthetic. Use a mini clothespin to attach it to the napkin, or tuck it into the menu card. If you treat it like a chore, guests will treat it like a chore. If you treat it like a gift for the couple, they’ll lean in.
Another trick? Gamify it, but keep it low-key. Have the bride read her favorite three cards aloud at the end of the shower. The "winners" get a small prize—maybe a bottle of wine or a nice candle. This creates a weirdly competitive atmosphere where the older relatives start trying to out-wise each other. It’s fantastic theater.
The Cringe Factor (And How to Avoid It)
There is a fine line between "sentimental" and "cringe."
Avoid prompts that are too sexual or invasive. "Tips for the Bedroom" is a recipe for disaster when your future mother-in-law is sitting three feet away. Keep it grounded in the reality of daily life. Marriage is about who takes the trash out and how you decide what to watch on Netflix when you're both exhausted. That’s where the gold is.
Beyond the Card: Creative Displays
If you hate the idea of a stack of cards, get weird with it.
- The Advice Tree: Hang the cards from a small decorative tree using twine. It looks great and doubles as decor.
- The Time Capsule: Provide envelopes and ask guests to seal their cards. Label them "Open on your 1st Anniversary," "Open on your 5th," and so on.
- The Recipe Box: Use cards that are the size of standard index cards so the couple can file them away in a recipe box. Wisdom is a recipe, right?
I once saw a bride use a vintage mailbox. Guests dropped their wedding shower advice cards through the slot. It kept everything organized and looked adorable on the gift table.
What to Do With the Cards Afterward
This is the part most people forget. The shower ends, the gifts are loaded into the car, and the cards end up in a shopping bag.
Don't let them die there.
If you're the bridesmaid or the mom, take charge of this. Buy a small, beautiful album. Use archival-safe adhesive to mount the cards. Or, if you're feeling fancy, scan them and create a digital photo book. Seeing the original handwriting is important, though. There’s something visceral about seeing your dad’s messy scrawl or your best friend’s perfect cursive.
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Some couples actually use the advice during their wedding ceremony. They’ll have the officiant read a few "pearls of wisdom" collected from the shower. It’s a nice way to bridge the two events and make the guests feel like they’ve actually contributed something meaningful to the marriage.
Real-World Wisdom vs. Pinterest Platitudes
Let’s be real: "Love is patient, love is kind" is a great sentiment, but it doesn't help when someone forgets to start the dishwasher for the third night in a row.
Encourage guests to be honest. Some of the best advice cards I’ve ever seen were the ones that admitted marriage is hard work. One card simply said: "Buy two sets of measuring spoons so you never fight over the tablespoon while baking." That is life-changing advice. That is the kind of stuff a couple actually needs.
Making It Work for Every Budget
You don't need to spend $200 on custom-letterpressed cards from an artisanal shop in Vermont. You can buy templates on Etsy for five bucks and print them at a local shop.
The value isn't in the card itself; it's in the intent.
If you’re on a super tight budget, just use plain white index cards and a few nice Sharpies. Arrange them in a pretty way, maybe with some loose greenery around the pile, and it will look intentional. People care about the gesture. They care about the couple. They don't care if the cardstock is 120lb or 80lb, even if I just told you that paper quality matters. (It matters for the vibe, okay? But it's not a dealbreaker.)
Actionable Next Steps for Planning
- Finalize your prompts: Choose 3–4 specific questions rather than one generic "advice" line.
- Source your materials: Order your cardstock or templates at least three weeks before the shower.
- Test your pens: Make sure they don't smear on the specific paper you've chosen.
- Designate a "Card Keeper": Assign a bridesmaid to collect the cards at the end of the event so none get lost in the wrapping paper chaos.
- Plan the display: Decide whether they will be at place settings or a central station.
- Think about the "After": Buy a small box or album ahead of time so the cards have a home immediately after the party.
The goal here isn't just to fill time. It's to create a tangible connection between the people who love the couple and the life the couple is about to build. It’s a small thing that carries a lot of weight if you give it the space to be meaningful.