If you’ve spent any time on TikTok or Hulu lately, you know the Leavitt family. They’re the polished, high-energy Mormon couple that somehow turned marital strife into a viral brand. But behind the synchronized dances and the "mom-tok" aesthetic, there’s a question that has haunted their comment sections for years. Did Connor cheat on Whitney? The short answer is yes. But the details? Those are way messier than a 30-second clip can explain.
Honestly, the drama didn’t just start with The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. It goes back to 2022 when whispers about a Tinder profile started circling the internet like sharks. People weren't just guessing; they had screenshots. For a while, the couple tried to play it off. Whitney even admitted later that she initially lied to her friends, telling them the rumors were fake to protect her family’s image.
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But the truth eventually came out in a tearful YouTube video that has since been scrubbed from their main channel.
The Tinder Scandal: What Was Actually Found
When people ask about the cheating, they’re usually talking about the Tinder incident. Whitney eventually confirmed that Connor had been active on dating apps—specifically Tinder—pretty much since the beginning of their marriage. That is a massive bombshell for a couple that built their entire platform on being the "perfect" LDS family.
Connor wasn't just "looking." According to the couple’s own admissions on the show and in past interviews, he was:
- Exchanging messages with other women.
- Sending and receiving explicit photos.
- Seeking "emotional validation" outside of his marriage.
Whitney described it as a "betrayal of trust" that had been happening under her nose for six years. Six years! That’s not a one-time mistake; that’s a lifestyle. He wasn't meeting up with these people physically (or so they claim), but in the world of marriage, especially a religious one, digital infidelity hits just as hard.
The "Porn Addiction" Narrative
One of the most controversial parts of this whole saga is how Connor and Whitney frame the cheating. They don't just call it "unfaithfulness." They call it a pornography addiction.
In the LDS community, porn is often treated with the same weight as physical affairs. Connor has been very vocal about how his struggles with porn led him to seek out more "intense" forms of validation, like the Tinder profiles. He’s linked this back to deep-seated childhood trauma, which he finally opened up about during a heavy reunion episode of their show.
Some fans find this explanation brave. Others? Not so much. There’s a segment of the audience that feels like the "addiction" label is a way to bypass accountability. It’s a "he’s sick, not bad" defense that doesn't sit well with everyone, especially since the behavior lasted over half a decade.
The Grindr Rumors and the "Lavender Marriage" Talk
You can't talk about Connor and Whitney without mentioning the elephant in the room: the "lavender marriage" rumors.
Basically, half of TikTok is convinced Connor is gay. The theory usually goes like this: "He wasn't on Tinder; he was on Grindr." People point to his mannerisms, his voice, and the way he interacts with Whitney as "proof."
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Let's be clear: There is zero concrete evidence that Connor was on Grindr. Whitney has addressed this head-on, even making "dark humor" TikToks about it. She’s joked about having a "gay best friend" for a husband, which is... a choice. But both of them insist he is straight and that the rumors are just a result of people projecting stereotypes onto him.
The couple even posted a video with the caption "proof this isn't a lavender marriage" where they’re being intimate, trying to shut the haters down. Does it work? Usually, it just fuels more comments.
Why Did Whitney Stay?
This is the part that kills people. Why would a successful influencer with a massive following stay with a guy who was on Tinder for six years?
Whitney has been blunt about this. She felt like their family was worth saving. They have three kids now—Sedona, Liam, and the newest addition, Billy Gene. For Whitney, divorce wasn't the first option; therapy and "the work" were.
They actually moved their entire lives to Hawaii for a while just to escape the Utah bubble and try to fix their marriage in private. It’s a move she initially lied about, telling her followers it was just for a "change of pace," when in reality, their marriage was on life support.
The Expert Perspective on Betrayal Trauma
Relationship experts often talk about "betrayal trauma," which is exactly what Whitney went through. When a spouse lives a double life for years, the victim doesn't just lose a husband; they lose their sense of reality.
Whitney has shown signs of this throughout the seasons of Mormon Wives. She’s often defensive and has a complicated relationship with the other women on the show. It makes sense when you realize she was carrying the weight of a massive secret while trying to keep her "Baddie" persona alive online.
Where Are They Now?
As of early 2026, the Leavitts are still together. They just bought a new home in Utah (and yes, Connor celebrated by jumping in the pool on Instagram). They seem to be in a "redemption" phase.
Connor has transitioned from being the "villain" of the first season to a more sympathetic figure. By being open about his past trauma and his recovery process, he’s managed to win over a surprising amount of the fanbase.
But the internet never forgets.
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Every time Whitney posts a new dance, there’s a comment about Tinder. Every time Connor looks "too groomed," the Grindr rumors start up again. It’s the price they pay for being so public with their mess.
If you’re following the Leavitt’s journey, here’s how to look at the situation objectively:
- Acknowledge the Nuance: You can believe Connor’s trauma is real while also believing his actions were inexcusable. Both things can be true at once.
- Watch the Source: Remember that The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is a produced show. While the cheating is real, the timing of the reveals is often curated for maximum drama.
- Look for Patterns: In any relationship recovery, the key isn't the apology—it’s the changed behavior over time. So far, Connor has been "clean" for a couple of years, but trust is built in drops and lost in buckets.
The best thing you can do is stop looking for "proof" on Reddit and watch the behavior they actually put out into the world. If Whitney is happy and the kids are thriving, that might be the only answer we ever get.
Next Step: Check out the latest episodes of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on Hulu to see the most recent updates on their marriage counseling sessions.