Selena Gomez has been in the public eye since she was a literal child. We’ve seen her grow from a wizard on Disney Channel to a billionaire mogul with Rare Beauty. But honestly, her love life has often overshadowed her career. It’s kinda frustrating, right? People are obsessed. Now that she’s officially married to Benny Blanco—they tied the knot in September 2025 in that gorgeous Santa Barbara ceremony—everyone is looking back at the trail of heartbreak and "pancake dates" that led her here.
Finding the right person wasn't easy. She spent over a decade navigating the most scrutinized relationships in Hollywood history. If you're looking for the truth behind every selena gomez ex boyfriend, you have to look past the tabloid headlines and see the actual growth of a woman who finally chose herself.
The Justin Bieber Era: Eight Years of "Jelena" Chaos
You can’t talk about Selena’s past without starting here. It’s the relationship that defined a generation of pop culture fans. They first met at an IHOP in 2010. Imagine being two of the biggest stars on the planet and trying to have a private conversation over a stack of pancakes while paparazzi are pressed against the glass.
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It was messy. They were kids.
For eight years, it was a constant cycle of "Are they? Aren't they?" They officially debuted at the Vanity Fair Oscars Party in 2011, but the cracks showed early. They broke up in 2012, then 2014, and had one final, major reconciliation in 2017. You remember the bike rides and the hockey games, right? It looked like the fairy tale was finally happening.
Then, it just stopped.
By March 2018, it was over for good. Months later, Justin was engaged to Hailey Baldwin. Selena later described this final break as "the best thing" that ever happened to her in her documentary My Mind & Me. She had to lose him to find herself. It sounds like a song lyric because it literally became one.
The Weeknd: A High-Fashion Romance
In early 2017, during one of those "off" periods with Justin, Selena started dating Abel Tesfaye, better known as The Weeknd. This was a whole different vibe. It felt more mature, more "adult." They traveled to Italy. They did the Met Gala.
He was there for her during her kidney transplant. That’s huge.
Reports even suggested Abel scheduled his tour dates around her recovery. There was a real sweetness there that people didn't expect from the guy who sings about "Starboy" antics. But by October 2017, the distance became too much. He was on tour, she was filming in New York, and they just drifted.
The coolest part? They actually stayed friends. Selena told Billboard that their split was based on a "true friendship" and mutual encouragement. It was a clean break, which is rare in this town.
The Nick Jonas and Taylor Lautner Days
Before the drama reached a fever pitch, there were the "puppy love" years. In 2008, Selena dated Nick Jonas. It was very "Disney royalty." The most famous story from this time involves a double date in Central Park with Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas.
It was a disaster.
Nick was so worried about being spotted that he walked about 25 feet away from Selena the whole time. It basically ruined her Central Park experience. But hey, it wasn't a total loss. Selena and Taylor Swift bonded over their shared Jonas Brothers heartbreak and became lifelong best friends.
Then came Taylor Lautner in 2009. They met while she was filming Ramona and Beezus and he was shooting New Moon. They’d go to dinners and movies in Vancouver, trying to be normal. It lasted a few months, but the media frenzy was too much for them at that age.
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The Rumors and the "Almost" Boyfriends
Not every selena gomez ex boyfriend was a multi-year commitment. Some were just "things," as she calls them.
- Zedd (2015): They collaborated on "I Want You to Know" and definitely had a romantic spark. Selena later confirmed they "had a thing," even though DJ Diplo tried to claim it was a PR stunt.
- Charlie Puth (2016): This one is still a bit of a gray area. Charlie hinted that their "We Don't Talk Anymore" chemistry was real, while Selena mostly kept quiet.
- Niall Horan: They were spotted making out at a party in 2015, but they’ve always maintained they are just friends.
- Samuel Krost: A brief 2016 romance with a friend of Gigi Hadid. Samuel actually defended her on Instagram afterward, calling her a "real girl with a real heart."
Why Benny Blanco is the Final Chapter
It’s wild to think that after all that, she married a guy she’d known since she was 16. Benny Blanco wasn't a stranger; he was a collaborator who worked on her hits like "Same Old Love."
They started dating in late 2023. This time, it was different. She didn't hide it, but she also didn't let the public dictate the narrative. When fans questioned him, she straight-up told them he was the "best thing" that ever happened to her.
From a Taco Bell-themed proposal in 2024 to their star-studded wedding in late 2025, it’s clear Selena has moved into a new era. She isn't the "distressed pop star" anymore. She's a wife, a businesswoman, and someone who finally stopped looking for validation in her partners.
Moving Forward
If you've been following Selena's journey, you know it's about more than just who she's dating. It's about mental health and setting boundaries. To apply her lessons to your own life, start by evaluating your "on-again-off-again" patterns. Real growth happens when you stop trying to fix a broken past and start building a stable future.
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Keep an eye on her upcoming 2026 projects, as she’s hinted that her marriage has completely changed the tone of her new music. Expect something much happier than "Lose You to Love Me."