When Valerie Bertinelli popped a bottle of champagne in a 2022 airport video, she wasn't just celebrating a flight. She was screaming into the digital void that she was "happily divorced." It was visceral. It was raw. And it left a lot of people wondering: what on earth did Tom Vitale do to Valerie to cause that kind of reaction?
Honestly, the answer isn't a single "event" like a tabloid scandal. It’s a messy, multi-layered story of a marriage that turned "toxic and horrible," a grueling legal battle over a $2.2 million payout, and a woman finally realizing she’d been "tolerating the intolerable."
The $2.2 Million Question: What Tom Vitale Did in Court
If you want to understand the friction, you have to look at the money. Most people think a prenup is a shield. For Valerie, it became a battlefield.
When Valerie filed for divorce in May 2022, she assumed their 2010 premarital agreement would make things simple. It didn't. Tom Vitale, a financial planner, didn't just walk away. He threw a massive wrench into the gears by challenging the validity of that prenup.
Here is what went down in those L.A. courtrooms:
- The Support Request: Tom asked for $50,000 per month in spousal support.
- Legal Fees: He also requested that Valerie cover $200,000 of his legal bills.
- The Block: He tried to legally block her from even requesting support herself.
Basically, he tried to toss the rules they both signed before saying "I do." Valerie had to fight back with a 13-page request for a separate trial just to prove the prenup was actually legal. It was a high-stakes game of financial chicken.
"Tolerating the Intolerable": The Emotional Toll
Money is one thing, but the emotional debris was way worse. Valerie has been incredibly open about the "emotional abuse" she felt she endured. While she hasn't detailed every single argument, she has dropped some pretty heavy hints on social media and in interviews.
She talked about being "screamed at" and told she was "fat and lazy." Imagine being America's Sweetheart, a Food Network star, and having the person closest to you say those things. She described a marriage where they became "very unkind" to one another.
The most telling part? She started referring to her ex as "the narcissist."
She wasn't just talking about a guy who looks in the mirror too much. In the context of her healing journey, she was describing a relationship dynamic that left her in "fight or flight" mode for years. She even mentioned finding "the texts"—a classic heartbreak trope that implies there might have been more going on behind the scenes than just "growing apart."
Why the Divorce Took So Long
They met in 2004. They married in 2011. They separated in 2019 (though the world didn't know it yet).
💡 You might also like: Ashton Kutcher and P Diddy: What Really Happened Between the Two?
The actual legal process was a slog. It took about a year from the legal separation filing in November 2021 to the final signature in November 2022. During that time, Valerie was mourning the loss of her first husband, Eddie Van Halen.
A lot of trolls tried to say the divorce was because she still loved Eddie. Valerie shut that down fast. She made it clear that while she loved Ed, her marriage to Tom ended because of what was happening inside that house. The "wicked" divorce, as she called it, brought her to her knees.
How It Finally Ended
In the end, Valerie paid to be free.
The settlement was finalized with Valerie agreeing to pay Tom $2.2 million. It was a "full, final, and complete" settlement. No monthly spousal support. Just a clean break.
She also sold off the shoes she wore to their wedding and some wedding bands at a luxury consignment shop. It wasn't about the money she got for the shoes; it was about getting the energy out of her house.
Moving Forward: Life After the "Narcissist"
Since the papers were filed, Valerie has undergone a total transformation. She’s been doing "rolfing" (a deep tissue therapy) to release the emotional pain she says was stored in her body. She’s writing cookbooks like Indulge and, surprisingly, she found love again in 2024 with a writer she met on Instagram.
👉 See also: Who is Jeremy Clarkson's new partner? What you need to know about Lisa Hogan
She’s no longer the person who "tolerates the intolerable."
Actionable Insights for Anyone in a Similar Spot
If you're looking at Valerie’s story and seeing parallels in your own life, here is how the experts suggest you handle it:
- Audit Your "Tolerance": Valerie’s "lightbulb moment" was asking why she stayed. If you're constantly making excuses for a partner's unkindness, it’s time to talk to a therapist.
- Trust the Paperwork: If you have a prenup, make sure it’s ironclad and reviewed by independent counsel. Tom Vitale’s challenge shows that even signed documents can be contested if there’s a loophole.
- Body Healing: Emotional trauma often manifests as physical tension. Whether it's yoga, journaling, or Valerie's choice of rolfing, find a way to move the stress out of your system.
- Believe the First Time: As Valerie famously quoted Maya Angelou on TikTok: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
The story of what Tom Vitale did to Valerie isn't a murder mystery. It's a cautionary tale about how even the most "perfect" looking celebrity marriages can become soul-crushing behind closed doors—and how much it can cost, both emotionally and financially, to finally walk away.