Look, if you’re thinking about showing your kids the movie that basically invented the modern romantic comedy, you’re probably wondering one thing. Is it actually "R-rated" bad, or is it just "1989-rated" bad? It's a fair question. Back then, the MPAA was a bit more sensitive about certain things than they are now. Honestly, if you watch it today, When Harry Met Sally... feels remarkably tame compared to what’s on Netflix on a Tuesday afternoon. But there are a few things that might make a family movie night a little... awkward.
The When Harry Met Sally parents guide isn't just about a checklist of bad words or skin. It’s about the fact that the entire movie is essentially one long, intellectualized conversation about sex. Harry Burns (Billy Crystal) and Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) spend twelve years arguing about whether men and women can be friends without the "sex part" getting in the way. That’s the plot. That’s the whole thing.
The "I’ll Have What She’s Having" Factor
We have to talk about the deli scene. You know the one. Even if you haven't seen the movie, you've seen the clip of Meg Ryan at Katz’s Delicatessen.
In terms of a When Harry Met Sally parents guide, this is the "big" moment. To prove a point about whether men can tell when a woman is faking an orgasm, Sally fakes a very loud, very public one right over her pastrami sandwich. It’s hilarious. It’s iconic. It’s also incredibly loud and graphic in its sound effects.
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- Duration: The scene lasts about two minutes.
- The Vibe: It’s comedic, not erotic.
- The Aftermath: Rob Reiner’s mother delivers the legendary line, "I'll have what she's having."
If you’re watching this with a ten-year-old, be prepared for some questions you might not want to answer while eating popcorn. It’s the primary reason the film snagged an R rating. In fact, Rob Reiner has famously said that the movie was only rated R because of that specific scene. Without it? Probably a PG-13, maybe even a PG in the late 80s landscape.
Sex, Language, and 80s Sensibilities
Beyond the deli, the sexual content is mostly verbal. Harry and Sally talk about their "days of the week" for having sex, they talk about their past partners, and they discuss the mechanics of attraction. There is one actual sex scene late in the movie. It’s not "Game of Thrones." You see them in bed afterward; there’s some post-coital awkwardness, but no actual nudity.
Let's talk about the "salty" language. You’ll hear a few choice words, including the "f-word" used once or twice. It’s used for emphasis, usually when Harry is being particularly cynical or frustrated. Compared to a modern Judd Apatow movie, the swearing is practically nonexistent.
- Nudity: None. Some suggestive clothing (it was the 80s, after all).
- Violence: Zero. Unless you count Harry’s brutal honesty as a form of verbal assault.
- Drugs/Alcohol: There’s plenty of social drinking—mostly wine at dinner parties or weddings—but no drug use to speak of.
Is it Boring for Kids?
Honestly? Yes. Most kids under 14 are going to find this movie incredibly tedious. It’s a "walk and talk" film. They walk through Central Park and talk. They go to a museum and talk. They sit in a bookstore and talk.
The humor is sophisticated and rooted in the anxieties of 30-somethings in New York. While the chemistry between Crystal and Ryan is electric, it’s a mental energy. There aren't any explosions. There are no superheroes. It’s just two people trying to figure out if they love each other or if they just like having someone to talk to on the phone while watching Casablanca.
When Harry Met Sally Parents Guide: The Verdict
If your teenager is a budding cinephile or a fan of rom-coms, they’ll probably love it. It’s a masterclass in screenwriting by Nora Ephron. But if you’re looking for something the whole family can enjoy without a side of "Mom, what’s an orgasm?"—you might want to stick to something like The Princess Bride (also directed by Rob Reiner, but way more kid-friendly).
The Breakdown:
- Ages 0-12: Probably not. Not because it’s "evil," but because they’ll be bored and the deli scene is awkward.
- Ages 13-15: Generally fine, provided they are mature enough for frank discussions about relationships.
- Ages 16+: Totally fine. They’ve likely seen much worse on TikTok.
Before you hit play, think about your own "cringe" threshold. If you're okay with a few minutes of simulated moaning for the sake of a great joke, you're golden. If that makes you want to crawl into a hole, maybe wait until the kids are at a sleepover to revisit this classic.
Check the specific timestamps for the Katz's Deli scene if you want to be ready with the "mute" button, though it's worth noting that the scene is the emotional and comedic crux of the film's middle act. Skipping it kinda ruins the setup for the rest of their relationship dynamic.
Make sure you've got the 30th Anniversary Edition or a high-quality stream; the cinematography by Barry Sonnenfeld (who went on to direct Men in Black) makes New York look absolutely stunning in the fall, which is a big part of the movie's charm.