Princess Bubblegum is a genius, but her security systems are... questionable. If you’ve spent any time in the Land of Ooo, you know the Adventure Time Banana Guard. They are the tall, yellow, bumbling sentries of the Candy Kingdom. They carry spears they barely know how to use. They scream at the slightest hint of danger. Honestly, they’re kind of a mess. But if you look closer at the lore Pendelton Ward and his team baked into the show, these guys aren't just comic relief. They represent some of the darkest and most fascinating parts of Bonnie’s "motherhood" and her obsession with control.
Most fans just see them as the dudes who shout "wee-woo" when something goes wrong. That’s fair. They are basically the Keystone Kops of the post-apocalypse. However, their origin—and their terrifying predecessor, the Rattleballs—paints a much weirder picture of what it means to be a soldier in a world made of sugar.
The Banana Guard and the Ghost of Rattleballs
PB didn't start with bananas. Before the Adventure Time Banana Guard ever existed, she had the Rattleballs. These were high-speed, hyper-efficient robotic sword fighters. They were perfect. Too perfect, actually. In the episode "Rattleballs," we find out that PB grew terrified of their potential for violence and had them all scrapped in a giant trash compactor. It’s one of those "Oh, PB is actually kind of a dictator" moments that the show does so well.
After she realized that "perfect" soldiers were a liability, she swung the pendulum hard in the other direction. She created the Banana Guards.
They are intentionally dim-witted. By making them sweet, gullible, and a bit slow on the uptake, she ensured they would never rise up against her. They are the ultimate "yes men." They don’t question the ethics of her experiments. They don't wonder why she’s spying on everyone in the kingdom. They just stand there, look yellow, and occasionally trip over their own feet. It’s a tragic kind of safety.
Think about the episode "The Thin Yellow Line." It’s probably the best look we ever get into their internal lives. We find out that many of them are actually closeted artists, poets, and dreamers who are terrified that PB will "fix" them if she finds out they have a personality. They aren't just robots; they are sentient beings living in fear of their creator’s perfectionism. It adds a layer of sadness to every time they fail to catch a simple thief.
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Why Do They Even Have Spears?
Seriously. Have we ever seen a Banana Guard actually win a fight with those things?
Probably not.
The spear is more of a prop. It’s part of the aesthetic of a kingdom that is trying to pretend everything is fine. In the early seasons, the Adventure Time Banana Guard is mostly there to provide a background noise of incompetence. But as the show matured, so did our understanding of why they are the way they are.
Life in the Barracks
- They love "Mama." That’s what they call Princess Bubblegum. It’s endearing and deeply creepy at the same time.
- Their training consists mostly of synchronized shouting and standing still.
- They have a weird obsession with painting. In "The Thin Yellow Line," we see that the interior of their barracks is covered in secret murals.
- They are surprisingly emotional. They cry. A lot.
Finn and Jake usually end up doing the heavy lifting because the guards are essentially toddlers in peel-suits. But that’s the point. The Land of Ooo is a place where a "parent" (PB) has created a race of children who can never grow up so she never has to be alone or challenged.
The "Wee-Woo" Factor: Sound Design as Character
The sound of the Adventure Time Banana Guard is iconic. That "wee-woo" siren they do with their mouths isn't just a gag; it’s a brilliant piece of characterization. It shows that they lack even the basic technology for a real alarm system, or perhaps PB just likes the handmade feel of it.
The voice acting, primarily handled by John DiMaggio (who also voices Jake the Dog), gives them this frantic, high-pitched energy that contrasts perfectly with their bulky, oblong shapes. When you hear that sound, you know two things: something is happening, and the people currently "handling" it are going to make it much worse.
They Actually Stepped Up During the Gumbaldia War
It’s easy to dunk on them, but during the "Come Along With Me" finale, the Adventure Time Banana Guard actually stood their ground. Sort of. When Uncle Gumbald brought the heat with his own candy army, the guards didn't just run away. They were part of the massive, chaotic clash that defined the end of the series.
They represent the heart of the Candy Kingdom—clumsy, sweet, and fiercely loyal to a fault. They aren't the warriors Ooo deserves, but they are exactly the ones PB needed to feel secure in her own power.
What Most Fans Miss About Their Anatomy
Here is a weird bit of trivia: they are literally bananas. Underneath that uniform, they have the anatomy of a large, sentient fruit. This becomes a plot point in various episodes where they get bruised or "peeled." It’s a literal interpretation of the "banana" pun, but in the context of Adventure Time’s post-Mushroom War biology, it’s just another day in the wasteland.
They are essentially biological constructs. They didn't evolve. They were baked. Or grown. This lack of natural lineage is why they cling so hard to the "Mama" identity. Without PB, they have no culture, no history, and no purpose. That’s why their secret art is so important—it’s the only thing they’ve created for themselves.
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How to Appreciate the Guards on Your Next Rewatch
If you’re diving back into the show on Max or wherever you stream it, pay attention to the background of Candy Kingdom scenes. The Adventure Time Banana Guard is always doing something ridiculous.
- Check out the episode "The Cooler." Look at how they react when the kingdom’s temperature starts dropping. Their panic is palpable.
- Watch "Princess Day." It shows just how easily they are distracted by basically anything.
- Keep an eye out for the one guard who always seems slightly more competent than the others—usually, he’s the one about to get hit by a stray blast.
They are a masterclass in how to use "fodder" characters to tell a deeper story about the setting's lore. They aren't just there to fill space; they are a living testament to PB's complicated morality.
Practical Steps for Adventure Time Lore Nerds
To truly get the full picture of the Banana Guard’s evolution, you need to watch a specific "lore path" rather than just random episodes. Start with "Rattleballs" (Season 5, Episode 46) to understand what they replaced. Then, jump to "The Thin Yellow Line" (Season 7, Episode 26) to see their inner humanity. Finally, watch the series finale "Come Along With Me" to see them finally face a real threat. This progression turns them from a simple joke into a nuanced look at the cost of "perfect" safety in an imperfect world. Exploring the official Adventure Time Encyclopedia (written by Martin Olson) also provides some "in-character" notes from Hunson Abadeer about how delicious—and useless—he finds them, which adds a nice bit of external perspective to their role in Ooo.