Why As Time Goes By Still Feels Like Home Thirty Years Later

Why As Time Goes By Still Feels Like Home Thirty Years Later

It shouldn't have worked. Really. A show about two sixty-somethings who haven't seen each other in thirty-eight years meeting up to talk about their hip replacements and lost mail sounds like a recipe for a very short-lived sitcom. But As Time Goes By defied every logic of the 1990s television landscape. While Friends was busy making us believe twenty-somethings could afford massive Greenwich Village apartments, Jean Pargetter and Lionel Hardcastle were busy navigating the awkward, creaky reality of second-chance romance in a drafty London house.

Honestly, the premise is almost too simple. Lionel (played by the incomparable Geoffrey Palmer) and Jean (the legendary Dame Judi Dench) were young lovers separated by a lost letter during the Korean War. Fast forward four decades. He’s a grumpy, retired tea planter writing a boring memoir; she runs a secretarial agency. They meet again because his publisher needs a temp. That’s it. No high-concept gimmicks. No laugh track that tries too hard. Just two people trying to figure out if the spark they felt in 1953 still exists behind the reading glasses and the skepticism of old age.

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It's brilliant.

The Chemistry of Grumpiness and Grace

What most people get wrong about As Time Goes By is the idea that it’s just "nice" television. It isn't. It’s actually quite biting. Geoffrey Palmer’s Lionel is a masterclass in the "disgruntled British male." He isn't mean, he’s just... tired. He wants to read his newspaper and avoid people. Judi Dench’s Jean, on the other hand, is a whirlwind of organizational energy and subtle insecurity. Watching them together is like watching a perfectly tuned instrument. They don't just act; they react.

Writer Bob Larbey—who also gave us The Good Life—knew exactly how to write for these two. He understood that the comedy didn't come from wacky situations. It came from the way Jean would meddle in Lionel’s life, and the way Lionel would sigh in that specific, weary way that only Geoffrey Palmer could manage. You’ve probably seen Dench in Bond or Shakespeare in Love, but this is her most human work. She’s vulnerable. She’s bossy. She’s incredibly real.

The supporting cast is just as vital. You have Moira Brooker as Judith, Jean’s twice-divorced daughter, and Jenny Funnell as Sandy, the secretary who basically becomes family. Then there’s Alistair Deacon, played by Philip Bretherton. Alistair is the high-energy, "everything is fabulous" publisher who acts as the perfect foil to Lionel’s cynicism. He’s the one who calls Lionel "Li," a nickname Lionel clearly loathes, yet their bond becomes one of the show's most touching friendships.

Why the "My Life in Kenya" Plotline Matters

Remember the memoir? Lionel’s book, My Life in Kenya, is a recurring joke throughout the series. Alistair wants to turn it into a glamorous miniseries or a "bodice-ripper" novel. Lionel just wants to tell the truth about tea planting. This isn't just a plot device. It’s a meta-commentary on the entertainment industry. The show constantly mocks the idea that life has to be sensationalized to be interesting.

By keeping the stakes low—will they go to a party? will they buy a new house?—the series actually makes the emotional stakes feel higher. When Lionel finally proposes, or when they deal with the death of a friend, it hits harder because we’ve spent so much time in their mundane, everyday lives.


The Masterclass in "Slow TV" Before It Was a Trend

In today's world of frantic editing and ten-second hooks, As Time Goes By feels like a radical act of defiance. It’s slow. Very slow. Sometimes an entire episode is just people sitting in the kitchen drinking tea and discussing whether or not they should go to the country for the weekend.

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But that's the magic.

It captures the "messy middle" of life. Most TV shows focus on the beginning (the chase) or the end (the wedding). This show is about the long, rambling, sometimes boring part of a relationship where you actually have to live with the person. It tackles the reality of aging without being depressing. Jean and Lionel aren't "elderly" in the stereotypical TV sense; they are active, sexual, professional, and sharp-witted. They just happen to have a lot of history.

The series ran from 1992 to 2005, which is an incredible span for a sitcom. It survived the transition from the early 90s to the internet age. Even in the later "special" episodes, the core remained untouched. It never tried to be hip. It never added a "cool" younger character to grab a new demographic. It stayed true to its quiet, observational roots.

Common Misconceptions About the Series

One thing people often forget is that the show was a massive hit in the United States, specifically on PBS. It became a staple of British comedy blocks, often paired with Keeping Up Appearances. But where Hyacinth Bucket was a caricature, Jean Pargetter was a person.

  • It's not just for seniors. While the leads are older, the show has a huge following among younger viewers who find the stability and wit of the relationship comforting.
  • The "Lost Letter" wasn't a cliché. In 1992, the idea of a lost letter was a very real, tangible tragedy of the pre-digital age. It represented the fragility of fate.
  • Lionel isn't a "jerk." He’s often mischaracterized as the "grumpy old man" trope. If you watch closely, he’s incredibly supportive of Jean’s independence, even when it drives him crazy.

The show also handled the "blended family" dynamic before it was a common buzzword. Lionel becomes a father figure to Judith and Sandy, and Jean manages the eccentricities of Lionel’s father, Rocky (played by Frank Middlemass) and his much younger, vibrant wife, Madge. It’s a chaotic, loving, non-traditional family unit that feels incredibly modern.


Why We Still Watch It in 2026

We live in an era of "prestige TV" where everything is dark, gritty, and full of anti-heroes. As Time Goes By is the perfect antidote. It’s "comfort food" television, but it’s high-quality comfort food—like a Beef Wellington instead of a microwave burger.

The dialogue is crisp. The performances are world-class. And let’s be honest: watching Judi Dench realize she’s accidentally invited two different dates to the same dinner is funnier than almost anything on modern streaming services.

There is a specific comfort in knowing that even if you lose forty years, it’s never too late to start over. That’s the enduring legacy of the show. It’s a hopeful series. It suggests that the "one who got away" might actually come back, and that they might be even better the second time around, even if they are a bit grumpier and need more naps.

Practical Ways to Revisit the Series

If you’re looking to dive back in or experience it for the first time, don’t just binge-watch it in the background. It’s a show that rewards attention to detail—the subtle facial expressions, the pauses, the way a character holds a teacup.

  1. Start from the Pilot: The setup in the first episode is essential. You need to see the initial awkwardness to appreciate how far they come.
  2. Watch the Body Language: Pay attention to how Palmer and Dench interact. They were close friends in real life, and that comfort translates into a chemistry that feels earned, not forced.
  3. Don't Skip the Specials: The "reunion" specials that aired after the main series ended provide a lovely, definitive sense of closure that most shows fail to achieve.
  4. Notice the Costuming: Jean’s wardrobe is a fascinating time capsule of 90s professional womanhood—lots of blazers, scarves, and power-shoulders that somehow feel timeless on her.

To truly appreciate the writing, look for the episodes penned solely by Bob Larbey. His voice is the heartbeat of the show. He understood that humor doesn't have to be loud to be effective. Sometimes, the funniest thing in the world is just two people realizing they’ve been arguing about the same thing for three decades without ever actually resolving it.

The show is currently available on various streaming platforms like BritBox or through local PBS stations. It remains a cornerstone of the BBC’s golden era of sitcoms, standing alongside greats like Fawlty Towers or The Office, but with a warmth that those shows intentionally lacked. It’s a testament to the power of simple storytelling and the brilliance of two actors who could make reading a phone book look like high drama.

Next time you’re scrolling through a sea of gritty reboots and hyper-active comedies, give Lionel and Jean a chance. You might find that their slow-paced, tea-soaked world is exactly where you want to be. It’s a reminder that while time goes by, some things—like a well-timed dry remark or a genuine connection—don't change at all.

Next Steps for Fans:

  • Track down the script books: If you can find them, Bob Larbey’s scripts are a masterclass in dialogue-driven comedy.
  • Explore Geoffrey Palmer’s other work: Watch Butterflies for a different, equally brilliant side of his comedic timing.
  • Check out Judi Dench’s stage history: Understanding her background in Shakespeare helps you see the technical precision she brings to even the simplest sitcom scene.
  • Look for the "Making Of" documentaries: There are several behind-the-scenes features that highlight the genuine affection the cast had for one another, which is largely why the show feels so authentic.