Ever had that moment where the noise just stops? You’ve been spiraling for three days about a weirdly worded email from your boss or a comment your partner made about the dinner you cooked. Then, suddenly, it clicks. You realize it doesn't actually matter. Your shoulders drop. You breathe. Honestly, it's a great feeling when you realize that most of the "emergencies" in your head are just bad scripts you wrote for yourself.
It’s a physical shift. It isn't just "happiness." Happiness is high-energy and fleeting. This is more like a quiet relief. Science calls it the "aha" moment, but for most of us, it’s just the absence of that tight knot in the solar plexus.
The Biology of Why it's a Great Feeling
When we talk about things feeling good, we usually point to dopamine. Everyone loves dopamine. It’s the "reward" chemical. But that sense of relief—the specific "it’s a great feeling" sensation—actually involves a complex cocktail of neurochemistry that goes way beyond a simple hit of pleasure.
Think about the last time you finished a massive project. Or when you finally reached the summit of a hike you thought was going to kill you. Your brain isn't just dumping dopamine; it's also clearing out cortisol. Cortisol is the stress hormone that makes you feel twitchy and hyper-vigilant. When that drops off and your parasympathetic nervous system takes over, you experience what researchers like Dr. Herbert Benson of Harvard Medical School called the "Relaxation Response."
It’s the biological opposite of fight-or-flight.
Your heart rate slows. Your blood pressure dips. Your muscles finally let go of the tension they’ve been holding for hours. This isn't just "all in your head." It’s a systemic biological shutdown of the alarm bells. That's why it feels so heavy and light at the same time. You’re literally feeling your body return to homeostasis.
Why we chase the "Flow State"
You've probably heard of "Flow." Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the psychologist who literally wrote the book on it, described it as being so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter.
When you're in flow, your prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain that judges you and worries about the mortgage—actually slows down. It’s called "transient hypofrontality." Basically, your inner critic goes on a coffee break. That’s why athletes, gamers, and artists talk about being "in the zone." Losing your sense of self is, paradoxically, one of the best ways to feel alive. It's a great feeling because the "you" that is usually stressed out has temporarily evaporated.
The Small Wins Nobody Mentions
We focus too much on the big stuff. Winning the lottery. Getting married. Buying the house.
But honestly? The best versions of this feeling are tiny.
- Finding a $20 bill in a coat you haven't worn since last winter.
- That first sip of coffee when the house is actually quiet.
- Realizing it’s Friday when you genuinely thought it was Thursday.
- The smell of rain on hot asphalt (that’s called petrichor, by the way).
These aren't life-changing events. They won't pay your bills or fix your car. Yet, they provide a micro-reset. They remind you that the world isn't always a grind. These moments act as "glimmers"—the opposite of triggers. While a trigger sends you into a spiral of anxiety, a glimmer sends a tiny cue of safety to your nervous system.
The "Relief" Factor in Modern Life
We live in a world designed to keep us on edge. Notifications. 24-hour news cycles. The constant pressure to be "productive." Because of this, the absence of pressure has become the ultimate luxury.
There is a specific phenomenon called "The Zeigarnik Effect." It’s a psychological term for the way our brains obsess over unfinished tasks more than completed ones. It’s why you can’t stop thinking about the laundry that isn't folded, even while you’re trying to watch a movie.
When you finally finish that one task you’ve been dreading for weeks? That surge of energy is your brain literally closing a loop. It’s a great feeling because it frees up cognitive bandwidth. You’ve stopped "leaking" mental energy.
Misconceptions About "Feeling Good"
A lot of people think that to get that "great feeling," they need to add something to their lives. More money. More friends. More stuff.
Actually, it’s usually about subtraction.
In the 1950s, psychologists began looking at "hedonic adaptation." This is the idea that humans have a "set point" for happiness. No matter how many good things happen, we eventually return to our baseline. If you buy a Ferrari, it feels amazing for a month. Then, it’s just the car you use to get groceries.
If you want to sustain that "great feeling," you have to stop looking for the high-peak spikes and start looking for the "low-friction" life.
It’s why some people find so much peace in minimalism. It isn't about having empty shelves; it’s about having fewer things to worry about breaking, cleaning, or losing. When you reduce the "drag" on your life, you feel faster. lighter.
How to Actually Cultivate More of It
You can't force a feeling. If you try to force yourself to be happy, you’ll usually just end up frustrated. But you can set the stage for it.
1. Identify your "Glimmers"
Pay attention to what actually calms your nervous system. Is it the sound of a specific record? Is it the way the light hits the kitchen floor at 4 PM? These aren't just aesthetic choices; they are biological anchors. Once you know what they are, lean into them.
2. Complete the Stress Cycle
Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, wrote extensively about this in their work on burnout. Stress isn't just an emotion; it’s a physical cycle that happens in your body. Even if the thing that stressed you out is gone (like a hard meeting), the stress hormones are still in your blood. You have to physically signal to your body that you are safe.
Run. Dance. Hug someone for 20 seconds. Cry.
Once you finish the cycle, you get that deep, "it's a great feeling" exhale that signals the danger is over.
3. Practice Selective Ignorance
You don't need to have an opinion on everything. You don't need to read every headline. There is a profound sense of power in saying, "I don't know enough about that to care, and I’m okay with that."
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4. The Power of "Done" vs. "Perfect"
Perfectionism is a thief. It keeps you from ever feeling that sense of completion. Aim for "good enough" so you can actually experience the win. The relief of being finished is almost always better than the pride of being perfect.
Real Examples of the Shift
Look at the way people talk about quitting social media. For the first three days, they’re twitchy. They reach for their phone every five minutes. They feel like they’re missing out on the world.
But by day seven?
They usually describe a "lightness." They notice the birds. They read a book without checking their watch. They stop comparing their "behind-the-scenes" to everyone else's "highlight reel." That shift—from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) to JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out)—is a prime example of why it's a great feeling to reclaim your attention.
Or consider the feeling of "Second Wind" in endurance sports. You’re running, your lungs are burning, and you want to quit. Then, your body adapts. The pain dulls, your rhythm stabilizes, and suddenly, you feel like you could run forever. This isn't magic; it’s your body switching fuel sources and releasing endorphins. But in that moment, it feels like a miracle.
The Role of Gratitude (Without the Fluff)
Gratitude has been "branded" to death lately. It’s on every coffee mug and journal.
But from a neurological perspective, it’s just a tool to prime your reticular activating system (RAS). Your RAS is like a filter for your brain. If you look for reasons to be annoyed, your RAS will find them. If you look for "great feelings," your brain starts highlighting them like a yellow marker.
It’s not about ignoring the bad stuff. It’s about making sure the good stuff doesn't get buried under the noise.
Moving Forward: Actionable Steps
Don't just wait for a great feeling to happen to you. Create the conditions for it to emerge.
First, audit your sensory environment. If your house is a mess and there’s constant noise, your brain is in a state of low-level alarm. Clear one surface. Just one. Notice how that feels.
Second, move your body for 10 minutes. Not for weight loss. Not for "fitness." Do it to burn off the residual cortisol from your workday. Get to the point where you take that deep, involuntary breath. That's the goal.
Third, disconnect for a set window. Turn off your phone an hour before bed. The "phantom vibration" syndrome—where you think your phone buzzed but it didn't—is a sign your brain is on high alert. Turn it off and let your brain "power down" too.
Finally, acknowledge the feeling when it happens. Literally say to yourself, "This is a great feeling." Labeling the emotion reinforces the neural pathway. It makes it easier for your brain to find that state again tomorrow.
Life is mostly a series of problems to be solved. That’s just the reality of being an adult. But interspersed between the problems are these pockets of profound, quiet, and genuine relief. Don't let them pass by without noticing. They are the whole point of the struggle.