Why the 10 things that i hate about you poem still hits different twenty-five years later

Everyone remembers the scene. Julia Stiles, playing the prickly and fiercely independent Kat Stratford, stands at the front of her English class. She’s reading a poem she wrote for a creative writing assignment. Her voice cracks. By the time she reaches the final line, she’s sobbing, and half the audience—both in the movie and in real life—is usually reaching for a tissue. It’s the 10 things that i hate about you poem, a piece of 90s pop culture that has somehow managed to outlive the era of butterfly clips and chunky highlights.

Honestly, it’s kinda weird how much staying power this specific moment has. Usually, teen rom-com monologues age like milk. They get cringey. They feel forced. But Kat’s poem? It still feels raw. It’s the ultimate "it’s complicated" status update before social media even existed.

The messy truth behind those fourteen lines

Most people think the poem is just a cute list of grievances. It isn't. Not really. If you look at the structure, it’s actually a modernized Shakespearean sonnet, which makes sense considering the entire movie is a loose adaptation of The Taming of the Shrew. Screenwriters Karen McCullah and Kirsten Smith weren't just throwing words at a page; they were trying to capture the exact moment a person realizes their emotional walls have been breached.

Kat spent the whole movie being the "shrew." She was the girl who didn't care what people thought, who listened to Bikini Kill, and who refused to conform to high school social hierarchies. Then comes Patrick Verona. Heath Ledger’s portrayal of the "bad boy" with a heart of gold (and a singing voice for Frankie Valli covers) was the perfect foil. The 10 things that i hate about you poem is her surrender. It’s her admitting that despite her best efforts to keep him out, he’s in.

The poem itself is surprisingly simple.

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare.

It starts petty. It starts with the superficial stuff that we all focus on when we’re trying to convince ourselves we don't like someone. But then it shifts. It gets heavy. By the time she says, "I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry," the mask is totally off.

Why Julia Stiles actually cried

Here is a bit of trivia that most fans don't realize: those tears were real. Stiles wasn't actually supposed to cry during that scene. It wasn't in the script. During the filming, she just got overwhelmed by the weight of the character’s vulnerability. The director, Gil Junger, was smart enough to keep the cameras rolling.

That’s why the scene feels so authentic. You’re not watching a polished Hollywood performance; you’re watching an actress genuinely feeling the stakes of the scene. It’s the centerpiece of the film because it’s the only time Kat is truly, 100% honest with herself.

Kat Stratford vs. The Taming of the Shrew

If we’re going to talk about the 10 things that i hate about you poem, we have to talk about William Shakespeare. The movie is based on The Taming of the Shrew, where Petruchio "tames" Katherine through psychological warfare and deprivation. It’s a pretty brutal play by modern standards.

In the play, Katherine’s final speech is one of submission to her husband. It’s controversial. It’s often played as satire in modern productions because the literal meaning is so patriarchal. However, the movie flips this on its head. Kat’s poem isn’t about being "tamed" by a man. It’s about her own growth. She isn't submitting to Patrick; she’s acknowledging her own capacity for love after years of being closed off.

It’s a massive subversion. Instead of a man breaking a woman's spirit, we see a woman reclaiming her emotional agency. She’s saying, "I hate that I love you, but I’m going to say it anyway." That’s a power move.

The actual list (for the record)

People often miscount the items in the poem. It’s not a literal 1-10 list. If you count the "I hates," it doesn't perfectly align with the number ten, which is a very human touch. It’s a messy internal monologue.

1. The way he talks to her.
2. The way he cuts his hair.
3. The way he drives her car.
4. When he stares.
5. His big dumb combat boots.
6. The way he reads her mind.
7. The fact that she hates him so much it makes her sick. (This is where the shift happens).
8. The way he’s always right.
9. When he lies.
10. When he makes her laugh/cry.
11. The fact that he isn't there.
12. The fact that he didn't call.

And the big one: "But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all."

Why the poem went viral before "going viral" was a thing

In 1999, we didn't have TikTok. We didn't have Reels. If you wanted to share something, you wrote it in a notebook or printed it out from a fan site on a noisy inkjet printer. The 10 things that i hate about you poem became a staple of AIM away messages and LiveJournal entries.

It resonated because it captured the specific agony of a teenage crush. That feeling where you want to be mad at someone because they have power over your emotions, but you can't actually stay mad because they’re... well, them.

The writing is accessible. It doesn't use flowery, "Ye Olde English" language. It uses the language of a frustrated seventeen-year-old. That’s the genius of it. It’s poetic because of its honesty, not because of its vocabulary.

The impact on the teen rom-com genre

Before this movie, teen films were often split into two camps: the "John Hughes" style (earnest but sometimes dated) and the "raunchy" style (American Pie). 10 Things I Hate About You carved out a third path. It was smart. It was feminist. It was literary.

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The poem became the blueprint for the "Emotional Climax" in teen movies. After 1999, every movie needed its "Kat Stratford moment." Whether it was a public confession in A Cinderella Story or a grand gesture in Say Anything (which technically came before, but Kat’s poem refined the trope), the bar was set.

But few have ever matched the sincerity of this specific poem. It’s the lack of a "happy ending" within the poem itself that makes it work. She doesn't end with "and so I want to be with you." She ends with the frustration of her own feelings.

Is it actually a good poem?

Literary critics would probably say no. It’s repetitive. The rhyme scheme is basic. It’s heavy on the "I hate."

But in the context of the story? It’s perfect. Writing isn't always about being "good" in a technical sense. It’s about being effective. The 10 things that i hate about you poem does exactly what it needs to do: it breaks the tension of the film and forces the audience to confront the reality of the characters' connection.

It’s also worth noting the soundtrack playing underneath. The subtle, melancholy score helps ground the words. If this had been read in total silence, it might have felt a bit more like a high school theater exercise. With the music and Stiles’ performance, it becomes a cinematic landmark.

How to use the poem's "energy" in your own writing

If you’re a writer, there’s actually a lot to learn from Kat Stratford.

First, vulnerability wins. People don't connect with perfect characters; they connect with characters who are struggling to hold it together. The poem is a struggle captured in ink.

Second, specifics matter. Mentioning "big dumb combat boots" is way more effective than saying "I hate your shoes." The more specific the detail, the more universal the feeling.

Third, embrace the contradiction. The whole point of the poem is that she hates and loves him at the same time. Humans are walking contradictions. If you can capture that "both/and" feeling in your work, you’ll hit a nerve.

The legacy of Heath and Julia

We can't talk about the poem without mentioning the chemistry between Ledger and Stiles. Their dynamic was the engine of the movie. Patrick Verona wasn't just a love interest; he was the person who saw through Kat’s armor.

When Kat reads that poem, she’s looking at him—and he’s looking back, realizing the depth of the pain he caused by taking the money to date her. It’s a heavy moment for a movie that also features a scene where someone gets shot with an arrow in gym class.

What most people get wrong about the ending

There is a common misconception that the poem is how they get back together. It isn't. Patrick has to buy her a guitar (a Fender Stratocaster, to be exact) to really seal the deal. The poem is just the catalyst. It’s the moment of internal realization.

The poem is for Kat. The guitar is for them.

Actionable insights for fans and writers

If you’re looking to revisit this classic or draw inspiration from it, here are a few things you can actually do:

• Watch the scene again, but mute the audio. Look at Julia Stiles' facial expressions. Notice how she shifts from defiance to total collapse. It’s a masterclass in physical acting.
• Try writing your own "inverse" list. Most people write about what they love. Try writing about the things you "hate" about your favorite person. You’ll find that the "hates" are often just "loves" in disguise.
• Read the original source. Check out Act 5, Scene 2 of The Taming of the Shrew. Compare Katherine’s "submission" speech to Kat’s poem. It’s a fascinating look at how storytelling has evolved over 400 years.
• Analyze the rhythm. The poem uses a lot of anapestic and iambic feet, which gives it that driving, almost breathless quality. Read it out loud and see where you naturally pause.

The 10 things that i hate about you poem isn't just a relic of the 90s. It’s a testament to the fact that being honest about our feelings—even when those feelings are messy, annoying, and totally inconvenient—is the most powerful thing we can do.

It’s been over twenty years, and we still don't hate it. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.