Why the 7 Minute Abs Something About Mary Scene Is Still Peak Comedy

Why the 7 Minute Abs Something About Mary Scene Is Still Peak Comedy

Harland Williams is a funny guy. You probably remember him as the hitchhiker in There’s Something About Mary, the one with the wild eyes and the blood-curdling screams. But it’s the 7 minute abs Something About Mary scene that basically predicted the entire future of the fitness industry. It’s been decades since the Farrelly brothers released that movie in 1998. Yet, every time I see a "5-minute workout" ad on YouTube, I think of that cramped car and a guy losing his mind over a minute of missing exercise.

The scene is simple. Ben Stiller’s character, Ted, picks up a drifter. The drifter has a "billion-dollar" idea. It’s 7-minute abs. Not eight. Eight is old news. Eight is the past.

The Ridiculous Logic of the Hitchhiker

Think about the sheer audacity. The hitchhiker, played by Williams, is convinced that shave off sixty seconds from a workout is a revolutionary breakthrough. It’s a perfect satire of American consumerism. We want everything faster. We want it now. If a pizza takes 30 minutes, we want it in 20. If an ab workout takes eight minutes, seven is the holy grail.

👉 See also: Why Every Game of Thrones Spoof Still Works Years After the Finale

"Step into my office," he says. His office is a beat-up car.

The dialogue is snappy and frantic. Stiller plays the straight man perfectly, questioning the obvious flaw in the plan. What happens when someone comes out with 6-minute abs? The hitchhiker’s reaction is visceral. He turns into a cornered animal. "No! No, no, not six! Seven!" He reacts as if the number six is a personal insult to his family's honor. It’s comedy gold because it exposes how arbitrary marketing numbers really are.

Honestly, life has imitated art here. When the movie came out, 8-Minute Abs was an actual, best-selling VHS tape. It was everywhere. People were doing leg lifts in their living rooms to a synthesized beat. Then, just like the movie predicted, the times kept dropping.

We eventually got the "7-Minute Scientific Workout" published in the ACSMs Health & Fitness Journal. It became a global phenomenon. People actually started doing 7-minute abs for real. The irony is thick enough to choke on. A joke from a raunchy late-90s comedy became the standard for high-intensity interval training (HIIT).

The Psychology of "One Minute Less"

Why does it work? Why do we care about that one minute? It’s psychological. Eight minutes feels like a commitment. It’s almost ten. Ten is a double-digit number. It’s scary. But seven? Seven is a lucky number. It feels like a snack. You can do seven minutes standing on your head.

The hitchhiker knew this. Well, he didn't know it, he was a fictional maniac, but the writers—Peter and Bobby Farrelly—knew exactly what they were mocking. They were mocking our desperate need for a shortcut that doesn't exist.

Why This Scene Still Ranks as a Classic

Most comedies from 1998 haven't aged that well. The humor can feel dated or, frankly, problematic. But the 7 minute abs Something About Mary bit holds up because it’s about human nature. It’s about the "get rich quick" schemes that never die. It's about the guy at the gym who thinks he's found a secret hack that the pros don't know about.

Harland Williams’ performance is what makes it. His timing is erratic. He goes from zero to sixty in terms of intensity. When he says, "You’re dreaming about Gorgonzola cheese when it’s clearly Brie time, baby," it makes no sense. And yet, it makes perfect sense in the context of his character’s crumbling sanity.

  • It mocks the fitness industry.
  • It highlights the "disruptor" mindset before that was even a buzzword.
  • It features one of the best "straight man" performances of Ben Stiller’s career.

The scene is only a few minutes long, but it’s the part of the movie people quote the most, right alongside the "hair gel" incident. It’s a masterclass in building tension through absurd logic.

The Legacy of the 7-Minute Abs Philosophy

If you look at the App Store today, there are dozens of "7-minute" workout apps. They have millions of downloads. The hitchhiker won. He was right. People didn't want eight minutes. They wanted seven.

✨ Don't miss: Scarlett Johansson Cannes 2025: What Really Happened on the Croisette

Of course, the medical community has some thoughts on this. You can't actually get "washboard abs" in seven minutes if your diet consists of gas station corn dogs. Spot reduction is a myth. That's a scientific fact. You can do all the crunches you want, but if there’s a layer of fat over the muscle, you’ll never see them. But try telling that to the guy in the passenger seat with a "dream" and a duffel bag.

Actionable Takeaways for Your Own Routine

Since we’re talking about the 7 minute abs Something About Mary phenomenon, let’s look at what actually works if you’re trying to strengthen your core without being a victim of a hitchhiker's marketing scheme.

Forget the magic number.
Whether it’s seven, eight, or eleven minutes, consistency matters more than the duration of a single session. A 5-minute plank routine done every day is infinitely better than a 30-minute blowout once a month.

Don't ignore the "kitchen" factor.
Abs are made in the gym but revealed in the kitchen. No amount of "7-minute" magic will bypass the laws of thermodynamics.

Vary your movements.
The hitchhiker's plan was likely just crunches. That’s boring. It’s also hard on your neck. You need to incorporate:

  1. Planks for stability.
  2. Side movements for the obliques (like Russian twists).
  3. Lower ab focus (like leg raises).

Watch the movie again.
Seriously. If you’re feeling burnt out on your fitness journey, go back and watch There's Something About Mary. Remind yourself that the industry is often just a bunch of people trying to sell you "seven" when "eight" is perfectly fine.

✨ Don't miss: Maul Shadow Lord: What Most People Get Wrong About the New Star Wars Series

The 7-minute abs gag isn't just a funny bit of movie history. It's a reminder to be skeptical of anything that promises results by just "trimming the fat" off the time required. Real progress takes effort. It takes more than seven minutes of your day. But hey, if you can find a hitchhiker who can convince you otherwise, at least you’ll have a good story to tell.

Next time you’re tempted by a "6-minute" workout, just remember the hitchhiker's warning. "No! Not six! Seven!" He was a visionary in his own, very weird, way.

To actually see results, focus on compound movements like squats and deadlifts which engage the core naturally. Supplement those with direct core work three times a week. That’s the real secret, even if it doesn't sound as good on a billboard or in the back of a moving car.