Radio is weird. Most people think it’s dying, but then you hear a segment like the 99.5 Second Date Update and suddenly you're sitting in your driveway for ten minutes because you can’t turn the car off. You’re late for work. Your coffee is getting cold. But you have to know: Why did he ghost her after they spent eighty dollars on tacos?
It’s a specific kind of voyeurism. WZPL in Indianapolis (99.5) has basically mastered the art of the awkward phone call. The premise is simple, almost painfully so. Two people go on a date. One person thinks it went great. The other person disappears into the ether, never to be heard from again. That’s where the morning show—usually Dave Smiley and the crew—steps in to "help." They call the ghoster. They get them on the line. And then, usually, things go sideways in the most public way possible.
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The Brutal Honesty of 99.5 Second Date Update
We live in an era of "ghosting." It’s a literal epidemic in the dating world. You can match with someone on Hinge, talk for a week, go to a movie, and then... nothing. Silence. The 99.5 Second Date Update works because it forces a confrontation in a world that is increasingly conflict-averse.
Most of the time, the reasons for the ghosting are incredibly petty. That’s the magic. One person might say the date was "perfect," but then the ghoster reveals that the other person chewed with their mouth open or spent forty-five minutes talking about their ex’s cat. It's relatable. We’ve all been on a date where something small just flipped a switch in our brain, and we knew—immediately—that there would be no second date. But most of us just send a "hey, I didn't feel a spark" text or, more likely, just stop responding.
99.5 doesn't let them off that easy.
Why we can't stop listening
There is a psychological phenomenon at play here. It’s called schadenfreude. We like watching other people fail, especially in the high-stakes, highly vulnerable world of romantic dating. When you listen to the 99.5 Second Date Update, you aren't just hearing a story. You’re hearing a live-action car crash of social cues.
The structure of the segment usually follows a predictable but chaotic path. First, the "Ghostee" calls in. They sound hopeful. They describe the date—maybe it was a hike at Eagle Creek or a dinner in Broad Ripple. They are confused. "I thought we had a connection," they say. Then, the station calls the "Ghoster."
This is where the tension peaks.
The Ghoster usually starts out defensive. "Why are you calling me?" or "I don't want to talk about this on the radio." But the lure of explaining their side is usually too strong. Once the truth comes out—whether it’s a secret spouse, a weird hygiene habit, or just a total lack of chemistry—the original caller is brought back into the conversation.
Boom. Fireworks.
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The Reality Behind the Scenes
Is it real? That’s the question everyone asks about radio bits. Honestly, the radio industry has a long history of "prep services" where actors play parts for segments like this. It’s a common trade secret in the broadcasting world. However, stations like 99.5 WZPL have built their brand on local authenticity. While some "War of the Roses" or "Second Date" segments across the country are scripted to avoid legal headaches (FCC regulations regarding recording people without their consent are very strict), the feel of the segment remains the same.
In many cases, stations get around consent laws by calling the person off-air first or having them sign a waiver. If you hear a voice that sounds a little too "polished" or a story that feels like a sitcom plot, your "fake" radar might be right. But the reason the 99.5 Second Date Update stays popular in Indianapolis is that the situations feel like things that actually happen in the 317.
The Most Cringe-Worthy Moments in Second Date History
Over the years, the show has seen some truly bizarre excuses. There was the time someone got ghosted because they took leftovers off a stranger's table at a restaurant. There was the guy who ghosted a girl because she had too many "Live, Laugh, Love" signs in her apartment.
It’s rarely about the big things. People can forgive a bad job or a messy car. What they can't forgive is the "vibe check" failure.
- The "Mother" Incident: A guy once ghosted a girl because she brought her mom on the first date without telling him. She claimed it was because her mom was her "best friend," but he (rightfully) felt like he was on an interview for a cult.
- The Accidental Theft: One caller realized their date had "borrowed" a salt shaker from the restaurant. Not a big deal? To the ghoster, it was a sign of a "criminal mind."
- The Silence: Sometimes, the reason is just that the person was boring. That’s the hardest one to hear on the radio. "You're just... not interesting." Ouch.
Navigating the Modern Dating Minefield
If you find yourself being the subject of a 99.5 Second Date Update—or if you're just trying to avoid being ghosted in general—there are some takeaways from these radio segments.
First, communication is actually easier than being put on blast on FM radio. If you don't like someone, just tell them. The "slow fade" or the "ghost" is what leads people to call a radio station in the first place. They want closure. If you give them a tiny bit of honesty, they won't feel the need to hunt you down via Dave Smiley.
Second, check your "weird" at the door. We all have quirks. But maybe wait until date three to talk about your collection of vintage porcelain dolls or your theory that the moon is a hologram. The 99.5 Second Date Update is a graveyard of people who shared too much, too soon.
How to Handle a Ghosting Situation
If you’ve been ghosted and you’re reaching for the phone to call 99.5, take a breath. It’s tempting to want to embarrass the person who rejected you. It feels like justice. But usually, the "update" just confirms what you already suspected: the person wasn't that into you, or they are kind of a jerk.
You don't need a radio station to tell you that you're better off without someone who doesn't have the decency to send a text.
However, if you do end up on the air, remember that it’s all entertainment. The listeners aren't judging you as much as they are just enjoying the drama. In twenty-four hours, they'll be talking about the next person who forgot their wallet at a Steak 'n Shake date.
Actionable Steps for Better Dating (and Avoiding the Radio)
If you're tired of the dating cycle that leads to these awkward segments, change the approach.
- Stop the Marathon First Date: Don't do a four-hour dinner. Do coffee. Do a drink. If it sucks, you're out in thirty minutes. No one ghosts after a thirty-minute coffee date because the stakes are low.
- The "24-Hour Rule": If you don't hear from them within 24 hours of the date, they aren't "busy." No one is that busy. They’ve moved on. You should too.
- Own the Awkward: If you're on a date and it's going poorly, it's okay to say, "Hey, I'm not really feeling a romantic spark, but I appreciate the time." It’s awkward for ten seconds, but it saves you weeks of wondering.
- Listen to the Show as a Lesson: Use the 99.5 Second Date Update as a "what-not-to-do" guide. If a caller does something that makes you cringe, make a mental note not to do that on Friday night.
Ultimately, the segment is a reflection of us. It’s messy, it’s loud, and it’s occasionally very mean. But as long as people keep disappearing after dinner, 99.5 will have plenty of material to work with. Stop waiting for the phone to ring and start looking for someone who doesn't need a radio host to tell them you're worth a second look.
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If you’re a regular listener in the Indy area, you know the routine. Turn it up, lean in, and pray you never hear your own name coming through the speakers. Because once you're on the 99.5 Second Date Update, there’s no going back to "just friends." You’re just another part of the morning commute.