You know that specific feeling when you’re staring at a "Let's grab drinks soon!" text and your soul just... leaves your body? That is the heartbeat of the making plans as an adult meme. It isn't just a funny picture of a tired raccoon or a screenshot of a calendar filled with "TBD." It’s actually a cultural white flag. We’ve all been there. You’re lying on your couch, scrolling through your phone, and you see a meme about the "dopamine hit" of a cancelled plan. You laugh. You hit share. Then you realize you just ignored three messages from your college roommate.
The internet is obsessed with this. Honestly, it’s because being an adult in the 2020s feels like a constant battle between wanting to be perceived and wanting to rot in bed.
The anatomy of the making plans as an adult meme
The humor usually lives in the gap between our intentions and our physical capacity. Remember when you were 21? Making plans meant walking out the door. Now? It’s a six-week negotiation involving three Google Calendars, a babysitter, and a prayer that nobody gets a head cold.
The making plans as an adult meme works because it highlights the absurdity of our scheduling rituals. Some memes focus on the "The Golden High," which is that brief moment of delusional optimism where you actually believe you’ll want to go to a concert on a Tuesday three weeks from now. Others focus on the "Pre-Event Dread," where you’re literally bargaining with the universe for a thunderstorm so you have a valid excuse to stay in your sweatpants.
Social psychologists often look at this through the lens of "decision fatigue." According to Dr. Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice, the sheer volume of choices we make daily—from what to eat to which email to answer first—depletes our willpower. By the time 6:00 PM hits, the thought of choosing a restaurant and navigating social cues feels like a Herculean task. The meme is our collective way of saying, "I’m tired, and I know you are too."
Why the "Cancellation High" is a real thing
There is a specific sub-genre of these memes that celebrates the "canceled plan." It’s almost ecstatic. You get the text: Hey, so sorry, I’m actually feeling a bit under the weather. Can we raincheck? Pure bliss.
Why does this feel better than actually seeing the person? It’s about the reclamation of time. In a world where our "productivity" is tracked and our "availability" is expected 24/7 via Slack or WhatsApp, an hour of unexpected, unscheduled time feels like winning the lottery. We aren't being mean. We just want our time back.
The logistics of the "Let's do lunch" lie
We need to talk about the "Let’s do lunch" phenomenon. It’s the ultimate adult lie. It is the verbal equivalent of a "making plans as an adult meme." You run into someone at a grocery store. You both say, "We HAVE to catch up!" You both know you won't. You both know the "catch up" would require a level of emotional labor that neither of you has the bandwidth for.
It’s performative. We’re performing the role of someone who has their life together enough to have a social circle. But underneath, we’re just two tired people hoping the other person doesn't actually follow up with a date and time.
The "Two-Week Out" Rule
If you want to actually see someone, you have to book it at least fourteen days in advance. That’s the rule. Anything sooner is an "emergency." Anything later is "the distant future." This creates a weird paradox where your social life is managed like a corporate merger. You aren't hanging out; you’re "facilitating an engagement."
When you see a meme about a group chat trying to find one single date where everyone is free, it’s funny because it’s a universal truth. It takes roughly 400 messages to coordinate a 90-minute dinner. By the time the dinner happens, you’ve spent more time talking about the dinner than you will actually spend at the dinner.
Loneliness vs. The Dread of Leaving the House
Here is the darker side of the making plans as an adult meme. It’s a bit of a mask. While we joke about hating plans, the U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, has issued warnings about a "loneliness epidemic."
There’s a tension here. We are lonelier than ever, yet the act of connecting feels more exhausting than ever.
Maybe we use these memes to cope with the guilt of being "bad friends." If everyone is posting memes about how hard it is to hang out, then it’s okay if I don’t hang out, right? It’s a way to normalize the social withdrawal that comes with burnout. If the meme says we’re all flakes, then my flakiness isn’t a personal failing—it’s just a symptom of adulthood.
The role of the "Social Battery"
You’ve definitely seen the memes about the "social battery" hitting 1%. This is a huge part of the adult planning discourse. We view our energy as a finite resource, like a smartphone charge. For introverts, the meme is a survival guide. For extroverts, it’s a source of confusion.
The struggle is real. The "battery" isn't just about being tired. It’s about the sensory overload of the modern world. Loud bars, small talk, the pressure to "be on"—it all drains the tank. So, when we see a making plans as an adult meme that shows a person hiding under a blanket, it’s a visual representation of the recharging process.
How to actually make plans (and keep them)
If you're tired of being a meme and actually want to see your friends, you have to change the strategy. The "Let's do something soon" approach is a death sentence for any social life. It's too vague. It's too much work.
Stop trying to have "perfect" plans. The pressure to make the "most" of your limited free time often leads to over-engineering the plan, which makes it more likely to fail.
Low-Stakes Socializing
Instead of a 4-course dinner, try the "errand hang."
"I'm going to the hardware store, want to come?"
It's low pressure. If you're tired, you're just walking through aisles of hammers. No "performing" required.
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The Calendar Invite
It sounds cold, but send a Google Calendar invite. If it’s not on the calendar, it doesn't exist. This bypasses the "what time were we meeting again?" dance that happens three hours before the event.
Be Honest About the Battery
If you really can’t make it, don’t ghost. Ghosting is the catalyst for half the memes out there. Just say: "I’m at 0% energy and I need to stare at a wall tonight. Can we try next Tuesday?" Real friends get it. They’re probably at 0% too.
The cultural shift in how we value "Hangouts"
There’s a shift happening. We’re moving away from the "Hustle Culture" of the 2010s where your social life was an extension of your brand. Remember when everyone was "networking" at happy hours? That's dying.
Now, we value "Rotting Together."
The best making plans as an adult meme lately aren't about going out; they’re about being in the same room while doing absolutely nothing. Two people on separate phones, occasionally showing each other a video of a cat. That is the peak of modern adult friendship.
It’s an acceptance of our limitations. We don't need the bells and whistles. We just need to know we aren't alone in the chaos.
The impact of "Third Places"
One reason making plans is so hard is the disappearance of "third places"—spots that aren't work or home where you can just be without spending $50. When every plan requires a reservation and a credit card, the stakes get higher. When the stakes are high, the anxiety goes up. When anxiety goes up, the memes get more relatable.
If we had more parks, community centers, or "hangout" spots that didn't feel like a transaction, maybe the making plans as an adult meme wouldn't be so painfully accurate. We wouldn't be "making plans"; we would just be "showing up."
Practical steps to beat the planning fatigue
Don't let the meme become your entire personality. While it’s funny to be the "friend who never leaves the house," isolation has a way of sneaking up on you.
- Set a "Standing Date": First Thursday of the month is tacos. No scheduling required. If you can make it, great. If not, see you next month.
- The 10-Minute Rule: Tell yourself you'll go to the thing for 10 minutes. If you still want to die after 10 minutes, you can leave. Usually, the hardest part is just putting on shoes.
- Voice Notes over Texts: Sometimes a 30-second voice note feels more personal and less "task-oriented" than a wall of text about logistics.
- Forgive the Flakes: If a friend cancels, don't take it personally. They aren't rejecting you; they're rejecting the effort of existing in public.
The making plans as an adult meme is a mirror. It shows us that we're all a little bit overwhelmed, a little bit tired, and desperately in need of a nap. But it also shows us that we're in this together. The irony is that by sharing the meme, we're actually connecting—even if it's from the safety of our own separate beds.
Next time you see a meme about the agony of a Friday night dinner party, remember that your friends are probably looking at the same thing. Maybe the best plan you can make is to send that meme to them and agree to stay home. Sometimes, that's the strongest bond of all.