Maya Angelou famously said, "I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better." It's a sentiment that feels like a warm hug for the soul, especially when you're cringing at something you did three years ago. But honestly? When we know better we do better isn't always a straight line. Sometimes it’s a jagged, messy scribble.
We’ve all been there. You read the research on how blue light wrecks your sleep, yet you’re still scrolling at 2:00 AM. You know that processed sugar makes your energy crash, but the donut was right there. Knowing better is the easy part. Doing better? That’s where the friction lives.
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The Gap Between Knowing and Doing
Most people think the problem is a lack of information. We live in the "Information Age," after all. If knowing were enough, we’d all have six-pack abs and perfect credit scores. The truth is, the phrase when we know better we do better assumes that human beings are purely rational creatures. We aren't. We are bundles of habits, emotions, and survival instincts that often override our "new" knowledge.
Think about the prefrontal cortex. That’s the part of your brain responsible for executive function and decision-making. It’s the part that learns the "better" way. Then you have the amygdala and the basal ganglia, which handle emotions and deep-seated habits. When you’re stressed, tired, or overwhelmed, your brain defaults to the old tracks because they require less energy. You know you should react calmly to your partner, but your nervous system is stuck in 2015.
Harvard researchers often talk about the "Immunity to Change." It’s this weird psychological phenomenon where we have a sincere commitment to a goal, yet we have a hidden, competing commitment that keeps us stuck. For example, you might know you need to delegate work to grow your business, but you have a competing commitment to being "the person who has all the answers." Until you address the hidden belief, the new knowledge won't change your behavior.
Why "Better" Feels Like a Threat
Change is scary. Even good change. When we try to "do better," we are essentially telling our old selves that they were wrong or inadequate. That triggers a shame response for a lot of people.
If I start "doing better" with my finances today, I have to acknowledge how much money I wasted yesterday. That hurts. To avoid that pain, we often ignore the new knowledge. It’s a defense mechanism. We choose the comfort of the familiar over the uncertainty of improvement.
Real Growth Isn't an Epiphany
You see it in movies all the time. The character has a "lightbulb moment," the music swells, and suddenly their entire life is different. In reality, when we know better we do better looks more like a slow, agonizing pivot. It’s a series of small, intentional choices that eventually outweigh the old ones.
Take environmentalism as a concrete example. You learn about the impact of fast fashion. You suddenly "know better." Does that mean you immediately burn your closet and only wear organic hemp? Probably not. Maybe it means you buy one less shirt this month. Then, six months later, you start researching sustainable brands. It’s a gradient.
The Role of Social Proof
We are social animals. If everyone in your circle is "doing better," it's incredibly easy for you to follow suit. But if you’re the only one trying to change, the friction is massive.
In a 1950s study by Solomon Asch, it was proven that people will choose an obviously wrong answer just to fit in with a group. This applies to our growth too. You can know the "better" way to live, but if your environment rewards the "old" way, you’re fighting an uphill battle. This is why "doing better" often requires changing who you hang out with or what media you consume.
The Cognitive Load of Improvement
Let's get practical. Why is it so hard to act on new information?
- Decision Fatigue: Every time you try to "do better," you're making a conscious choice. Conscious choices use up glucose. By the time 5:00 PM rolls around, your "doing better" tank is empty.
- The Learning Curve: Doing something the "new" way usually makes you worse at it initially. If you learn a more efficient way to use a software program, you'll actually be slower for the first week while you learn the shortcuts. Most people quit during that dip.
- Identity Friction: If you’ve always been "the life of the party," and you learn that alcohol is hurting your health, "doing better" means changing your identity. That’s a heavy lift.
Moving Past the Cliche
To actually live by the mantra when we know better we do better, we have to stop waiting for inspiration. Inspiration is a fickle friend. It shows up when things are easy and disappears when you're stuck in traffic.
Instead, we need systems.
If you know that eating a healthy breakfast makes your day better, don't rely on your willpower at 7:00 AM. Set the oats out the night before. If you know that checking your emails first thing in the morning kills your productivity, put your phone in another room. You are essentially "outsourcing" the "doing better" part to your environment.
Forgiving the Past Self
One of the biggest hurdles to doing better is the guilt of not knowing sooner. We look back at our 20s or even our last year and think, "How could I have been so stupid?"
But you weren't stupid. You were operating with the tools you had.
If you carry the weight of your past mistakes, you won't have the energy to build a better future. Doing better requires a level of self-compassion. You have to be okay with the fact that you were once the person who didn't know.
The Nuance of "Better"
What is "better" anyway? It's subjective.
In the business world, "doing better" might mean increasing profit margins. In the non-profit world, it might mean reaching more people regardless of cost. As we gain more information, our definition of "better" shifts. This is the beauty of the phrase. It’s not a destination; it’s a constant recalibration.
You might learn a "better" way to parent today, only to realize in five years that there's an even better way. The cycle never ends. And that’s okay. The goal isn't to be perfect; the goal is to be slightly more informed and slightly more intentional than you were yesterday.
Actionable Steps to Bridge the Gap
So, you’ve learned something new. You "know better." How do you actually ensure you "do better"?
- Shrink the Change: Don't try to overhaul your life based on one piece of information. If you learned that meditation is good for you, don't try to do 30 minutes a day. Do two minutes. Make the barrier to entry so low that it’s impossible to fail.
- Audit Your Environment: Look around. Does your physical and social space support your new knowledge? If not, change the space, not your willpower.
- Identify the "Trigger-Action" Plan: Use "If-Then" statements. "If I feel the urge to check my phone while working, then I will take three deep breaths instead." This pre-decides your behavior so you don't have to think in the moment.
- Track the "Better": We are motivated by progress. Keep a simple log of when you acted on your new knowledge. Seeing the streak grow creates a psychological "hook" that makes you want to keep going.
- Embrace the Mess: You will mess up. You will know better and still do the "worse" thing. When that happens, don't scrap the whole plan. Just acknowledge it and move on to the next choice.
Ultimately, when we know better we do better is a call to action, but it’s also a call to patience. It’s a reminder that we are works in progress. The gap between knowing and doing is where character is built. It’s where we prove to ourselves that we are capable of growth, one tiny, uncomfortable choice at a time.
Start by picking one thing you "know" you should change. Just one. Don't worry about the rest of the list. Apply the "If-Then" strategy to that one thing tomorrow morning. See how it feels to align your actions with your awareness, even if it's just for five minutes. That’s how the shift starts.