It happened. You’re scrolling through a playlist or a bookshelf and you see it. That specific phrase. When we were villains. It isn’t just a catchy title or a trope; it’s a whole mood that defined a very specific era of internet culture, literature, and how we talk about our own messy histories.
People are obsessed with being the "bad guy" in their own stories. Not the kind of bad guy who kicks puppies—nobody wants to be that person—but the complicated, morally gray, high-stakes version of themselves. We see this play out in the Dark Academia subculture, in the "villain era" TikToks, and in the way we look back at our younger selves. Honestly, it’s a relief to stop trying to be the hero sometimes.
The Cultural Weight of When We Were Villains
If you’ve been on the internet for more than five minutes, you know the aesthetic. It’s a mix of Greek tragedy, secret societies, and the kind of intellectual arrogance that only exists when you’re twenty and think you’ve discovered the meaning of life in a library basement.
But where did it actually come from?
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Most people point directly to M.L. Rio’s 2017 novel If We Were Villains. It’s a book about seven Shakespearean actors at an elite college where the lines between their stage roles and their real lives get dangerously blurry. One of them dies. The rest have to deal with the fallout. It became the cornerstone of the Dark Academia genre, alongside Donna Tartt's The Secret History.
It’s interesting because Rio didn't just write a mystery. She wrote about the performance of guilt. She captured that feeling of being part of a group that is "the villain" in someone else's story. That resonated. It really did. It sparked a massive shift in how readers, particularly Gen Z and Millennials, consume media. We stopped looking for the "good" character and started looking for the one who was the most interesting.
Why We Root for the Mess
There’s a psychological pull here. According to researchers at the University of Michigan, humans have a "safe" attraction to dark characters. It’s called the imaginative play of the shadow self. Basically, we like exploring the "villain" side of our personalities through fiction because there are no real-world consequences. We can imagine being the person who burns it all down without actually having to deal with the cops or the social exile.
When we talk about the time when we were villains, we’re usually talking about our own eras of rebellion.
Think about it.
Everyone has that one year. Maybe it was 2014. Maybe it was last year. It’s that period where you were arguably the antagonist in someone’s life. You were selfish. You were reckless. You broke a few hearts. But in the context of your own life, that was your growth spurt.
Breaking Down the Dark Academia Aesthetic
It’s not just about the books. It’s the visual language.
You know the look. Tweed blazers. Ink-stained fingers. Rainy nights in Gothic libraries. But underneath the fashion is a deep-seated desire for prestige and intensity. The "villain" aspect comes from the exclusivity. To be a villain in this context is to be part of an "in-group" that rejects mainstream morality in favor of something more... classical? Or maybe just more dramatic.
The Influence of M.L. Rio
M.L. Rio’s work is the heartbeat of this specific keyword. If you look at the search trends, "When We Were Villains" often gets confused with her title If We Were Villains.
She tapped into something visceral.
The characters—Oliver, James, Alexander—aren't heroes. They are deeply flawed people who prioritize their art and their friendships over the law. That’s the core of the "villain" appeal. It’s the idea that your loyalty to your "tribe" justifies almost anything.
The book has sold hundreds of thousands of copies and remains a top-tier recommendation on BookTok and BookTube. It’s a perennial bestseller because it doesn't offer easy answers. It asks: How far would you go for the people you love? And usually, the answer is: Too far.
The "Villain Era" and Social Media Evolution
Fast forward to the early 2020s. The phrase evolved. It moved from literary circles into the mainstream TikTok consciousness.
Suddenly, everyone was entering their villain era.
This wasn’t about murder or Shakespeare anymore. It was about setting boundaries. It was about people-pleasers finally saying "no" and being labeled "mean" or "difficult" because of it. In this context, being the villain meant reclaiming your time and energy.
It’s a fascinating linguistic shift.
- Phase 1: Literary tragedy (The M.L. Rio era).
- Phase 2: Aesthetic lifestyle (Dark Academia).
- Phase 3: Personal empowerment (The TikTok "Villain Era").
Each phase shares the same DNA: the rejection of the "nice" persona.
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I think about this a lot when looking at how we archive our lives online. We used to only post the highlights—the "hero" moments. Now, there’s a certain social capital in posting about your failures, your "flops," and the times you were definitely the problem. It feels more authentic. It feels more human.
What People Get Wrong About the Trope
A lot of critics think the obsession with when we were villains is just a glorification of toxic behavior.
They’re kinda right, but also they’re missing the point.
It’s not that people want to be evil. It’s that people are tired of the "perfect victim" or "perfect hero" narrative. Real life is messy. Sometimes you’re the one who messes up. Acknowledging that—even through the lens of a "villain" aesthetic—is a form of radical honesty.
We see this in the surge of "unreliable narrators" in fiction. We want to be lied to a little bit because it reflects how we lie to ourselves.
The Expert Take on Moral Ambiguity
Dr. Margrethe Bruun Vaage, an expert in media studies, has written extensively about why we engage with anti-heroes. She suggests that our "empathy for the devil" is a way to practice moral reasoning. When we engage with stories about when we were villains, we are testing our own boundaries.
We aren't becoming bad people; we’re just making sure we understand what being a "bad person" actually entails.
Actionable Takeaways: How to Use This Energy
If you’re feeling like you’re in your own "villain" phase, or if you’re just a fan of the aesthetic, here is how to channel it without actually becoming a social pariah.
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1. Embrace the Boundary
In the modern sense, being a villain often just means you've stopped prioritizing everyone else's comfort over your own sanity. If saying "no" to an extra shift at work or a draining social event makes you the villain in their story, let them have that narrative. Your peace is worth more than their approval.
2. Curate Your Intellectual Curiosity
The best part of the Dark Academia "villain" vibe is the focus on learning. Read the classics. Learn a dead language. Write in a physical journal. There’s something powerful about pursuing knowledge for the sake of knowledge, not for a grade or a LinkedIn certificate.
3. Conduct a "Moral Audit"
Look back at the times in your life when you were actually the antagonist. Don't hide from them. Own them. What did you learn? How did it change you? Growth doesn't come from being perfect; it comes from looking at your "villainous" moments and deciding what kind of person you want to be next.
4. Dive into the Source Material
If you haven't read If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio or watched films like Kill Your Darlings or The Riot Club, do it. Understanding the roots of the trope makes the aesthetic much more rewarding. You start to see the patterns in storytelling and in your own life.
Why This Matters Right Now
We’re living in an era of intense scrutiny. Everything we do is recorded, screenshotted, and archived. The pressure to be "good" 24/7 is exhausting.
The concept of when we were villains serves as a pressure valve. It gives us permission to be imperfect. It reminds us that even if we aren't the hero of the world, we are the protagonists of our own lives—and protagonists are allowed to make mistakes.
They’re allowed to be selfish.
They’re allowed to be angry.
They’re allowed to be wrong.
Ultimately, the fascination with this theme isn't going away. Whether it’s through a Shakespearean tragedy or a 15-second video, we will always be drawn to the dark side of the moon. It’s just more interesting over there.
Your Next Steps
- Read the book: Start with M.L. Rio if you want the definitive "villain" experience.
- Journal your history: Write down a time you were the "bad guy." See how it feels to tell that story without making excuses.
- Check your boundaries: Identify one area where you’re being "too nice" at the expense of your own well-being and prepare to enter your own (healthy) villain era.