You’ve seen it. You’ve probably typed it. Maybe you even have a tattoo of it. But if you stop and think about it, the origin of why we use "XO" to signify hugs and kisses is actually pretty weird. We just accept it. We see a text from a mom or a partner ending in "xo" and we instantly feel a little warmth. It’s a tiny bit of digital affection that has somehow survived the era of emojis and high-definition video calls.
But what is an xo, really?
On the surface, it’s shorthand for "hugs and kisses." The "X" represents the kiss, and the "O" represents the hug. Simple, right? Except, if you look at the letters, they don't really look like what they're supposed to be. An X looks more like two people crossing arms in a hug, and an O looks like an open mouth for a kiss. Yet, the history books (and common usage) say it’s the other way around.
The Medieval Mark That Started It All
The "X" didn’t start as a romantic gesture. Not even close. Back in the Middle Ages, when most people couldn't read or write, the "X" was a legal signature. It represented the Christian cross. People would sign documents with an X to show they were telling the truth, basically swearing on the cross.
Then came the physical part.
To prove their sincerity, they would literally kiss the "X" they just drew on the parchment. It was a "seal it with a kiss" moment, but for tax documents and land deeds rather than love letters. Over hundreds of years, the act of kissing the cross morphed. The "X" itself became the kiss.
By the time we get to 1763, we see the first recorded use of "X" as a kiss in a letter from Gilbert White, a famous English naturalist. He wasn't being particularly scandalous; he was just using a shorthand that had finally bubbled up into common correspondence.
Why the "O" Means a Hug (Sorta)
The "O" is a much bigger mystery. Honestly, nobody is 100% sure where it came from, but there are some solid theories. Some historians believe it’s because the "O" looks like two people wrapping their arms around each other to form a circle. It’s visual. It’s a "circle of affection."
Another theory suggests it came from Jewish immigrants arriving in the United States. While many illiterate people used an "X" to sign documents at Ellis Island, Jewish immigrants often chose to sign with a circle (an "O") to avoid using a symbol that looked like a Christian cross.
Regardless of the exact "why," the pairing of XO became a powerhouse in the 20th century. It’s symmetrical. It’s balanced. It feels complete.
The Pop Culture Power of XO
If you grew up in the 2000s, you can’t hear "XO" without hearing Kristen Bell’s voice in your head whispering, "XOXO, Gossip Girl." That show did more for the branding of this phrase than almost any other piece of media in history. It turned a sweet sign-off into something a little bit more ominous, a little bit more exclusive. It was a signature of power and surveillance.
Then there’s The Weeknd.
His record label and brand, "XO," changed the vibe entirely. Suddenly, it wasn't just about hugs and kisses; it was about a specific lifestyle. Some fans speculate it stands for "Ecstasy and Oxycontin," given the dark, drug-fueled themes of his early music like House of Balloons. While Abel Tesfaye himself has been a bit cagey about the "official" definition, the duality of the name—something sweet used to describe something dark—is exactly why it works. It’s a brand that’s moved millions of hoodies and sold out stadiums.
Is It Professional to Use XO?
This is where things get tricky. Using an "xo" in a text to your best friend? Totally fine. Using it at the end of an email to your boss? Probably a bad idea, unless you work in a very creative, very informal industry.
There’s a nuance to it.
I’ve seen people use a single "x" in business emails in the UK and Australia. It’s weirdly common there. In London, a single "x" at the end of a professional email can sometimes just mean "thanks" or "we’re good." But in the US, that same "x" might get you a call from HR.
Context is everything.
- The "Single X": Usually indicates a casual kiss or a friendly acknowledgement.
- The "Double XX": Slightly more intimate, often used between close friends.
- The "Full XOXO": The heavy hitters. This is for family, partners, or very close-knit circles.
- The "Capital XO": Usually feels a bit more formal or "loud."
The Psychology of the Sign-off
Why do we still use it when we have a thousand emojis? Because an "xo" feels more permanent. Emojis are colorful and fun, but they can feel a bit cheap. A handwritten "xo" or even a typed one carries a certain weight of tradition.
It’s also about "closing the loop" in a conversation.
We live in an age of "ghosting" and "left on read." When someone ends a message with an xo, they are signaling that the interaction was positive. It’s a digital safety net. It says, "We are okay, and I care about you."
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Beyond the Text: XO in Games and Tech
Interestingly, the "X" and "O" have a different life in the world of gaming. If you’re playing Tic-Tac-Toe (Noughts and Crosses), they are just placeholders. If you’re using a PlayStation controller, the "X" and "O" are your primary points of interaction. In Japan, the "O" (maru) means "correct" or "yes," while the "X" (batsu) means "wrong" or "no."
This is the exact opposite of the Western emotional meaning where both are positive.
When Sony designed the PlayStation controller, they intended for the "O" button to be "enter/confirm" and the "X" button to be "back/cancel." For years, Western gamers struggled with this because we naturally want "X" to be the action button. Eventually, Sony gave in and swapped the functions for Western releases.
What People Get Wrong About XO
The biggest misconception is that "X" always means a kiss. In many contexts, "X" is just a mark of presence. Think of "X marks the spot" on a treasure map. Or "X" as a variable in algebra.
When we talk about what is an xo in the context of human connection, we’re talking about a very specific evolution of language. It’s a linguistic fossil that’s still alive.
It’s also worth noting that "XO" isn't universal. Many cultures have their own versions. In some parts of the world, people use "mwah" or specific emojis that have nothing to do with these two letters. But because of the dominance of English-speaking media, XO has become a global shorthand for "love."
Actionable Ways to Use XO (Without Being Weird)
If you're wondering how to navigate the world of "hugs and kisses" without causing a social disaster, here’s a basic roadmap for the real world.
Keep it out of the office. Unless you are literally sending a gift to a coworker you’ve known for ten years, just stick to "Best" or "Thanks."
Match the energy. If someone sends you an "xo," it’s generally safe to send one back. If they don’t, maybe don't lead with it. It’s like a digital handshake; let the other person set the tone if you’re unsure.
Understand the platform. An "xo" on a public Instagram comment means something very different than an "xo" in a private DM. The public version is often just a show of support or "liking" the content. The private version is personal.
Don't overthink it. At the end of the day, it’s two letters. If you send it to someone and they take it the wrong way, that’s usually a reflection of their own stuff, not yours.
The beauty of the "xo" is its simplicity. It’s a way to be vulnerable without being overly dramatic. It’s a quick tap of the thumb that connects us to a tradition that’s hundreds of years old, from medieval peasants kissing crosses to pop stars building billion-dollar brands. It’s short, it’s sweet, and it’s not going anywhere.
Next time you're about to hit send on a message to someone you actually care about, try skipping the "heart eyes" emoji. Go old school. Use the xo. It carries a history that an emoji just can't match.