They met. They clicked. Then everything fell apart for about thirty years.
Honestly, the story of young Camilla and Charles is usually buried under layers of 1990s tabloid drama and The Crown scripts, but the actual 1970s history is way more nuanced. It wasn't just a "forbidden love" trope. It was a messy mix of bad timing, rigid royal protocols, and a young Prince who simply couldn't make up his mind until it was far too late.
How They Actually Met (No, It Wasn't Always a Polo Match)
If you believe the popular legend, Camilla Shand walked up to Prince Charles at a Windsor polo match in 1970 and immediately started talking about their ancestors' affairs.
✨ Don't miss: Jimmy Smits: How Tall is the Star Wars Icon in Real Life?
"My great-grandmother was the mistress of your great-great-grandfather. I feel we have something in common," she supposedly said.
It’s a great line. It makes for fantastic TV. But according to royal biographers like Jonathan Dimbleby and Sally Bedell Smith, they were actually introduced by a mutual friend named Lucia Santa Cruz. Lucia was the daughter of the Chilean ambassador and, interestingly, had been Charles's first serious girlfriend. She thought the two would get along. She was right.
They hit it off immediately. Charles was twenty-two, shy, and carrying the weight of the monarchy on his shoulders. Camilla was twenty-three, funny, and—most importantly—not remotely intimidated by him. She didn't treat him like a future King; she treated him like a guy who shared her love for the outdoors and silly jokes.
The "Suitable" Bride Problem
Why didn't he just marry her then? This is the question that haunts the early 70s.
You have to remember the era. In 1971, the palace had a very specific, and frankly prehistoric, checklist for a royal bride.
- She needed an impeccable aristocratic pedigree.
- She needed to be "untouched" (yes, they meant virginal).
- She needed to be someone the Queen Mother approved of.
Camilla came from the upper class, sure. Her father was Major Bruce Shand, a decorated war hero. But she wasn't "titled" aristocracy. More importantly, she had a dating history. She had been in a long-term, on-again-off-again relationship with Andrew Parker Bowles, a dashing cavalry officer who was also, coincidentally, dating Charles’s sister, Princess Anne, at the time.
Because Camilla had "lived a little," the palace establishment—including Charles’s mentor, Lord Mountbatten—deemed her unsuitable for the role of Queen. Mountbatten famously advised Charles that he should have "flings" with women like Camilla but find a "sweet-charactered" girl with no past for a wife.
The Eight-Month Mistake
By late 1972, Charles was deeply in love. He spent weekends at the Shand family home and introduced Camilla to some of his inner circle. But he was also a dithering young man who didn't know how to stand up to "The Firm."
In January 1973, Charles set sail with the Royal Navy for an eight-month deployment in the Caribbean.
He didn't ask her to wait.
He didn't propose.
He just... left.
While he was gone, Andrew Parker Bowles saw his opening. He had been dragging his feet on marrying Camilla for years, but with the Prince out of the picture, the pressure mounted. In a weirdly aggressive move, Camilla’s father and Andrew’s father actually published a fake engagement announcement in The Times to force Andrew’s hand.
💡 You might also like: Victoria Jones: What Really Happened to Tommy Lee Jones’ Daughter
It worked. They were engaged by March.
When the news reached Charles on the HMS Minerva, he was gutted. He wrote to Mountbatten about the "blissful, peaceful, and mutually happy relationship" that had been snatched away. By the time he returned to England, the woman he considered his soulmate was Mrs. Parker Bowles.
The Friendship That Never Quite Quit
For the next several years, they stayed friends. Charles was even named godfather to Camilla’s first child, Tom. They moved in the same circles, attended the same parties, and shared the same social DNA.
Historians generally agree that their physical affair didn't reignite until around 1978 or 1979. By then, Charles was nearing thirty—the age he had once told reporters was "a good age to get married"—and the pressure to find a "suitable" bride was reaching a fever pitch.
Camilla was the one who reportedly helped him vet potential candidates. It’s a bit twisted, but she was his emotional anchor while he looked for a woman who could play the part of Princess.
🔗 Read more: Kevin Dillon Net Worth: Why Johnny Drama’s Real Bank Account Might Surprise You
Then came 1980. Enter Lady Diana Spencer.
Diana was nineteen. She was the daughter of an Earl. She was, on paper, the "perfect" solution to the Camilla problem. But as we all know now, you can’t solve a heart problem with a spreadsheet.
Actionable Insights from the 1970s Saga
Looking back at the history of young Camilla and Charles, there are a few real-world takeaways that go beyond royal gossip:
- Timing is everything. If Charles hadn't joined the Navy in '73, or if he had possessed the confidence his mother had when she insisted on marrying Philip, the entire history of the 20th century might look different.
- Compatibility vs. Suitability. The palace prioritized "suitability" (pedigree/reputation) over "compatibility" (shared interests/humor). History shows that suitability rarely sustains a marriage.
- The "Third Person" began early. The bond between Charles and Camilla wasn't a mid-life crisis; it was a foundational relationship that existed long before Diana was ever in the picture.
If you're interested in the deep-dive nuances of this era, I recommend checking out Sally Bedell Smith’s Prince Charles: The Passions and Paradoxes of an Improbable Life. It moves past the "villain/victim" narrative and looks at the actual letters and testimonies of those who were there in the seventies.
To understand the royal family today, you have to understand that the King and Queen aren't just a late-life match—they are two people who have been trying to get back to the 1971 version of themselves for over half a century.
Next Step: You could look into the specific role of Lord Mountbatten in Charles's early dating life to see how much influence "Uncle Dickie" actually had on the Prince's decision-making.